Ejaculating/orgasming like a woman instead of a man?

OK OK, i understand this topic might be very weird but hear me out.

For a lack of a better word, my ejaculations are "passive". They are not purposeful at all, i don't ejaculate to PUSH my semen in/on a woman, rather i "surrender" or "let go", much like a woman does when she's coming. It's like I step aside and "let things happen" rather than doing them with a purpose.

I dislike this a lot and i can't enjoy my orgasms at all, i never feel empty because of this. Back when i used to masturbate, i would always binge because i never felt empty.

It really feels like i'm cumming like a woman, not like a man.

Anyone else can relate? Does any of this make sense?