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This makes me so down

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by wheelgauge, May 31, 2019.

  1. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone. I'm on my 7th day, and until some hours ago I was feeling fine and confident, but suddenly this horrible vibe caught me. I'm guessing this is due to all these days without PMO... To be honest, I'm seriously considering in going to my bedroom and watch a specific porn video. This makes me so angry, because I'm feeling like a slave of this addiction! By the way, I'm afraid that it will happen on the next days... It's just more than I can take! Pornography is like a painkiller for me, and it hurts so much to admit that... Did any of you felt like that in some point of the streak? I don't wanna reset my counter, but at the same time this is making me bitter with myself!
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2019
    Danton_7 and llortaton like this.
  2. theburrito

    theburrito Fapstronaut

    Absolutely, that means you’re recovering! Your brain will try to make you think there’s no point in abstaining anymore. “Just do it” it will say. Urges usually hit hard and fast.

    You must acknowledge that this urge WILL pass though. Say it out loud. Could take an hour or a day, but it will pass.

    Stay the path. You’ll be happy you did very soon. Go take a long walk outside. Congrats on 7 days btw. Good things are coming.
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  3. zayneyboy

    zayneyboy Fapstronaut

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    I am on day 26 without mo but i have watched a couple of porn videos does that time but i never acted on them i always fought the urges. So i suggest you do the same failing is part of the process. there were days where i surprised myself by fighting some unbelievably strong urges so trust yourself. Know yourself know your triggers and start fighting them
     
  4. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    try and find a healthy painkiller.
     
    nef likes this.
  5. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    I feel same before fapping but came to some conclusion
    1 - you are not doing your passion
    2 - not doing productive or something that is important
     
  6. For me the urges have become easier to cope the longer I have been attempting nofap. I am coming up to matching my previous longest streak. I have relapsed many times before due to the urges getting too strong but on my current streak I have managed to suppress them and they don't seem to last as long. This must be how people get to the big numbers like 90 days. To do that all in one streak with no previous attempts seems way too difficult. Just keep trying and eventually you will succeed. The act of trying is the biggest key to success. I am not pretending I have conquered this but from my experience it does seem to get easier the more you try.
     
  7. B1257

    B1257 Fapstronaut

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    I know what youre saying my man, you feel fine then BAM, you want some and all of sudden that all you think of. Just let it pass, stay strong.
     
  8. Varg

    Varg Fapstronaut

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    Just give time to yourself, soon you will feel better. Just stay strong now. I have 12 days till 90th day, you can do it as well :)
     
    wheelgauge likes this.
  9. It comes in waves. I have it right now. There's absolutely no reason to react on those urges. You can observe it (it's called urge-surfing). But the problem is the little voice in my head. It tells me: do it! and: it's so enjoyable! It's the one and only thing that you need now! Don't miss it!

    I don't want to PMO but the little voice insists: only that particular scene. Only some minutes. Afterwards let's pretend as if it never happened. And it projects the scene into my head.

    I ask: little voice, you ugly spawn of an addiction, why should I watch it when it's already in my head? And why should I expect a different result when I watch it a second time.

    It answers: fantasizing about it is not satisfiing. Only when you watch it it will give you satsifaction. Last time IT WAS good stuff and this time it will be good stuff. It's what you want and what you need ... and shit like that more.

    Sometimes when I stay strong I get sad because I feel as I have to feel pain instead of joy. But in fact the grain of joy is followed by a lot of pain, while the little pain to swallow means a lot of joy to follow. So there's no reason to be feel sorry. It's just of those misconceptions.

    I guess we don't see straight and we don't feel the right emotions because of addiction. So let's think it through to see it through and then create the right emotions by telling ourselves again and again what is great and what is shit, when we can proud and how great it will be versus how deep we will fall and how miserable we'll be.

    And even if, after that, you still don't feel the right thing and still think you need that shit it will help distract yourself. It will make your frontal cortex work and make you more conflicted (with the choices) and thus increase the chance that you flee into activity instead of porn or even that you become ready for some urge surfing. (I have a great podcast for that, guided urge surfing so to speak. You can get it somewhere in the web, I can look for you if you want it).

    Really, while writing this I felt like I will definitely look for that scene (and if it's only searching - searching / hunting for porn is one of the traits of the addiction)! Despite not willing to think at the consequences, I felt as I was definitely going to relapse!
    And from experience I know, writing alone doesn't make my hardest urges yield a bit.
    But now it even worked for myself. Maybe I just ranted for long enough :D
    I feel relieved. I will listen to something relaxing now, shut down the computer and go to bed. Then tell myself: that was good and you can be proud and stuff ... and feel it!
    @zepgarden and everyone who's concerned: I wish you successful urge-killing with good feelings :):cool:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2019
  10. wheelgauge

    wheelgauge Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your help, man! Thanks to all of you who came here to encourage me. It's very hard to keep to this nofap thing, but I'm managing to resist to these urges... I'll fight against this voice that keeps hoping for my relapse. By the way, I'd like to listen to this podcast that you mentioned. Can you put the link here?
     
  11. Oh my! There's so much on "urge surfing" in the internet, I can't find it. But you'll probably gonna find something equivalent in no time. Or maybe not. I can upload my podcast asap if you want to. What you can expect from it: female voice, it's like a meditation session but without much ado and without music. It makes you relax and hopefully able to observe the waves of urges come and go without acting out. For me personal it's probably the best panic-tool I ever found.
     

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