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I need advice

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by MarcoM, May 30, 2019.

  1. MarcoM

    MarcoM Fapstronaut

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    Guys! Help me please! I need advice to resist temptation. Every time that i arrive at 7°/10° day, i feel a very strong temptation that i can't control, i become so drepressed, lazy, tired and sad, also my concentration become bad :(
    What can i do? How can i become stronger?
    Thanks to all!
     
  2. Temptation is not some random thing, temptation is similar to hunger or sex drive. This means it comes when you have a need for something. If your blood sugar gets low - you feel hungry, if your testosterone spikes you feel horny, if your dopamine drops you want support of others (you want a hug, or want to talk to your friend, parent etc.)

    Your urges or what you decided to call temptation are not random. You first have some kind of physical change that results in you wanting to correct it by doing some specific behavior as I explained above.

    If you are addicted to pornography my best guess is you first feel drop in dopamine, which results in poor concentration, motivation, depressive symptoms, anxiety and then your brain suggests activities to correct that.
    If you learned that pornography is how you satisfy this urge and get your dopamine levels back to normal and kept reinforcing it over the years, this activity comes up at the top of the list.

    Part of dealing with addictive behaviors is replacing them with better options, which satisfies the underlying need and relieves the urge.

    You do not need to become stronger you just need to change what you activities you want.
    Think of it like this, if someone drinks 20 bottle of coke daily, when they stop they feel the urge to drink coke, we know that they do not need coke to survive and the reason they seek it is because of stimulation it provides, so they essentially manage their mood by drinking coke, it makes them feel better, they are dependent on it. When their mood drops - they reach for a coke and all is well. When we remove the coke - their mood drops, they naturally reach for the coke but its no there, so now they need to satisfy a need "degrading mood" or drop in dopamine but they do not have the typical tool to do so. Initially you just have to stake it out, because other activities do not really scratch that itch, usually because dopamine they provide is small compared to constants hits of coke but your body begins to adapt rapidly and bring dopamine system in to normal range. After some time taking a walk or drinking tea with honey, taking a shower etc. begin to stabilize the dopamine levels also become viable replacements to satisfy the urge. With coke example, eating bana or an apple may boot dopamine and mange the urge.
    Eventually by stopping abuse of coke, body recovers normal dopamine levels and dopamine drops become easily manageable by doing normal activities, if enough discipline is put in to relearning new activities to replace coke, the urge to drink shifts lower on the list and stop entering your mind.

    I hope this helps you gain insight in to what happens to you when you feel that urge, just know one thing. If at initial stages if you give in even for a second, just that one thing, you will likely not be able to stop.
    Dopamine has one clever effect, as dopamine levels rise you feel better but your ability to control yourself diminish, the higher dopamine goes then less control you have and the harder it is to exercise.
    That is why you want to avoid boosting dopamine by drinking even that one coke =), because one you get more dopamine you also loose part of your willpower.
     
    Mr. McMarty likes this.
  3. MarcoM

    MarcoM Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @Ronila! It's a great explanation, i'll try to follow your tips :)
     

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