Detoxing the mind

Tonight will be difficult- a quart of chocolate milk for energy and a chocolate football that was 70% off won't do me any favors. But I'll try.

 

the good news is last night I made it. feeling pretty good tonight as well.

 

Day four, is it normal to have non masturbation related anxieties? I feel like I'm getting stronger urges today.

 

The shower has been my go to for a while simply because it is much easier to clean up (My stupid 15 year old self would just leave it on the carpet in my closet, then 17 year old me would use Kleenexes, which would sit in my room for a while, before transitioning to the shower. Now, I just grab a pair of underwear then bury it in my dirty laundry if I don't jack it in the shower), except when other people don't clean their hair off the drain.

 

Alright, I've just updated my day counter to correspond with my new goal. Hope it helps.

 

Update- had a relapse dream and woke up extra horny, but managed to not masturbate.

 

More developments:
Really wanted to jack it in the shower due to a headache, but ultimately went to bed early.
However, because I went to bed early I woke up at 2 in the morning and had way stronger sexual thoughts- both normal fantasies and porn recollections (even recalling some forgotten images) with a pretty strong erection. But I made it through without masturbation and did fall back to sleep.
I may have more sexual thoughts than usual today but I'll probably be fine.

 

Here's my three week update- Energy had been on the rise before, but I THINK it's getting better. I've recently noticed I'm more tired after work. I don't know if it's a good thing or not.
My concentration is still not clearing up. I at least want to watch a movie a night when I'm not working, but I can't do that for the following reasons-
I want to be outside when the sun is out, and by the time the sun sets it wouldn't be a good idea to put something on that late.
I find internet/ photography related stuff overstimulates my mind and I can't slow down and focus on anything but watching another disturbing lazy masquerade video, or planning out my next photography venture/editing photographs/ posting or looking at photographs.

Also, having some issues with wanting to look at fine art nude stuff, I'm going to put tougher rules on myself since I don't want to lose the progress I've gained.

And let me put this into perspective-
high school me could watch five movies on a snowday no problem, 19 year old me could watch a Tarkovsky casually after an eight hour shift. 22 year old me has trouble concentrating on anything I put on for myself regardless of the situation.