1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Had an emotional outburst today, came to some conclusions. Advice needed

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Sakazuki27, May 10, 2019.

  1. Souvent08

    Souvent08 Fapstronaut

    132
    221
    43
    To the faith keeping you sane point. Faith has the power to let you know that everything is and is going to be okay. It seems that there a lot of differences between you and your roomate. Faith also allows us to focus on the good of our selves and the good of life. There has to be good things happening for you, think about them and focus on them. In my experience, when you come across people who are not like me or think like me, I brush off what they say or do and focus on me or God. Meditation helps with that. Take five minutes of Deep breaths and repeat something like “everything is going to be okay”. That’s a good start. Wish you luck my friend. You can handle this!
     
    Sakazuki27 likes this.
  2. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    She is just screwing and playing her mental wicked games with you. Just to piss you off, she enjoys to watch how you lose control and get angry. Why? Because you dont do anything that has consequenses to her, and she knows that. She will pull out the victim card, as soon as she sees that you are really pissed off and might do something drastic. Women are really good at mindgames, its their natural evolutional weapon against men. Physically they are weaker, so they needed some leverage and they worked on their psycological strenght, and as you see, its working. Are the other people living there on her side?
     
  3. She seems like a really obnoxious person maybe you could pair up with someone else who also thinks she's a bitch, won't be that hard to find a person like that.
     
    Sakazuki27 likes this.
  4. Sakazuki27

    Sakazuki27 Fapstronaut

    56
    29
    18
    You perfectly explained it. That's how she is, she needs attention and loves drama and me being sick of it gives makes her high.

    No one really likes her and another girl told me she doesn't see where I made a mistake. She is on my side and I get along with the others as well. Still no idea how I should handle this now, any advice? I tried to be as tolerant as possible but I'm sick of it really.
     
  5. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    Caopy/paste this text to youtube, and ill think on my answer to you. Im busy at the moment.

    jordan peterson being too nice
     
  6. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    So, I think you are a bit too agreeable and too nice. Its f****d up that you should ever say to someone that you are too nice, but we dont live in the fantasy world and real world is a harsh place. Too nice gets stepped on (fact). Overall, the problem is deeper than c.horse, take her aside and ask her whats her real problem with you. Her kind of people hate when confronted and they tend to wind themselves up when you do it in front of others, so do it when you are alone with her (record the conversation, in case she accuses you later of something she made up, and plays the victim card). Yes, your voice and hands may shake, but you took a stand and she will respect you for that a little, but thats a little more respect then before. From that you gain confidence and next time youll be a bits stronger. Let us know how things went or escalated. Stay strong
     
    Sakazuki27 likes this.
  7. Sakazuki27

    Sakazuki27 Fapstronaut

    56
    29
    18
    Yeah I would like to confront her, I like this approach. How do I stay calm though? I tend to be easily provoced and brought out of concept. For example people can easily turn the page against me. Should I be ready to apologize? Or stand my ground for having done things that made her angry? For example I was once in my room playing with a friend and wrote her a message to give notice when I'm too loud. She answered "Yes, your laugh is annoying". I replied the middle finger emoji and she wrote something like "suck me, go release your stress to someone else". That's when we didn't get along anymore.
     
  8. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    Stay on your own topic, women tend to go off topic when they are losing the argument:) they really do. When she goes off topic, just say: lets stay on this topic, we can discuss the other one later. And just make yourself stay calm, dont think that you have to win the arguement, you need to find somekind of solution. And be ready that you dont find it, if shes not willing, you wont! If you didnt do anything wrong dont apologize, dont be a weak apologetic guy who tries to be likeable.
    You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometimes in your life.
    Winston Churchill
    About that text that you wrote her. You were considerate towards her, she clearly has her own issues in her head if she replyed in such a mean way. And instead of middle finger, you should have wrote her: I love you too:) that gets them off guard and works like a charm. Theres a buddist wisdom: what happends to a gift (mean reply, in your case), thats not accepted? It stays to the giver.
     
    Sakazuki27 likes this.
  9. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    And if you are porn addict like the rest of us here, that means your bodylanguage comes off as a weak, ashamed guy with no self confidence.

    "Confidence" comes from the Latin fidere, "to trust." To be self-confident is to trust in oneself, and, in particular, in one’s ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least adequately with the world. A self-confident person is ready to rise to new challenges, seize opportunities, deal with difficult situations, and take responsibility if and when things go awry.

    If you crouch, are anxious and other stuff that comes along with porn addiction, beople can see it. Not the addiction, but your weakness and vulnerability. And prey "animals" attack these kind of people.

    The belief is that 55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken.

    You get the point, im sure.
     
    Sakazuki27 likes this.
  10. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    Just go and talk with her, and if things dont go as you've wished them to go, just as fine as well. Youve learned something valuable, you confronted her and thats all you can do.
    And All you can do, is All you can do. Good luck.
     
  11. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    Hey Sakazuki27, where are you and hows going with things?
     
  12. Sakazuki27

    Sakazuki27 Fapstronaut

    56
    29
    18
    Hey man, well actually nothing special happenned. I complained too and she is actually not allowed to put anything on the hallway. And since then she didn't, and I didn't even see her since then LOL. I'm still mad at her to be honest but I hope she understood that she pushed it too far. I don't want any conflict really but I felt like a doormat. And now it's all good.
     
  13. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    577
    519
    93
    Ok. Good. But, as you see, it still affects you, because the problem between you two is still unresolved in a deeper level. I think that shes mad at you too.
     
  14. Sakazuki27

    Sakazuki27 Fapstronaut

    56
    29
    18
    Yeah it still bothers me, İ would really like to solve the issue, do you think İ should approach her? And how? What if she acts bitchy again and what should my goal be?
     
  15. Wolf2019

    Wolf2019 Fapstronaut

    I would suggest because the girl went to the administration, you also go to the administration and explain what happened, then ask to have a meeting with her with a Resident Assistant from the dorm or other school employee present as a neutral party while you talk through the issue with her.

    It's great that you see that your reaction to her may have had to do with your feelings about college. If you have access to counselors through your college, that would be a great thing to talk to a counselor about. If you don't have counselors, you could talk to a clergy person about those issues.

    Of course people here on the site can offer advice, but sometimes it's nice to talk to someone face-to-face.
     

Share This Page