Anybody else don’t get the PUA advice and other theories on how to improve “Game”?

Personally i find that most of the stuff from YouTube is contradictory and many of the so called gurus have been proven to be fakes, with that being said there are a few people i personally follow that give good reliable advice not only in dating but also in your personal life and being a man in general.

https://www.youtube.com/user/coachcoreywayne
https://understandingrelationships.com/

This guy gives his stuff out for free, its worth a look
Sometimes i think like you do but in the end of the day i realized that "its better to know it and not need it then need it and not know it"

Best wishes,

 

It's a cliche, but it is ALL about confidence.

If getting rich makes you confident, focus on that. If a muscled gym body makes you confident, pursue that. If having a cache of lines and witty responses makes you confident to approach women, go for it. Have the confidence to approach the next woman you desire and try and strike up a conversation and see where it goes. More importantly - have the confidence to laugh it off when she laughs at you or is rude to you or tries to cut you down. Whatever - it's her loss. on to the next.

 

I don't think that they are fake. Most of them state that they sucked at approaching women and they tried hard to become titans. They just share what they did. Of course, it won't work everyone. Let me give you an example:

My bike had problem running iddle. When I released the throttle, it just stalled. I used to get embarrassed every time I stooped at red lights, pedestrian or stop signs. One day, I detailed my bike in my garage. I saw that there was dust under the battery cover, so I removed it in order to clean. I noticed that one of the battery terminals wasn't tightened properly. I grabbed a screwdriver and tightened both. My bike never stalled again and I enjoy revving it whenever I have to stop since then.

I posted my story online to share my experience. Many guys had the same issue. But their terminals were tight. Their problems were dirty air filter, dirty fuel injector, dirty inlet manifold or bad sparkplug contact. Even if they tightened their battery terminals with impact wrench, their bike would continue to stall. This doesn't mean that I'm fake.

The general idea is that we have to change our mindset. We have to realize that there is no rejection, there's no reason to be affraid of approach etc. The point is that we have to find the way to hack our brains. Every person has to find the way to do it to himself.

 

as the friend above me sayed, its about confidence and taking chances right here and now.
does a lion cry and hates the gazele because she ran away from him? no, he will keep on doing his thing until he catch the prey.
in this game, women are prey first of all.. and for them, you are a potential fool to refuse to/set trap. there is no mutual respect, only after the sex true feelings are shared. if you want to get what you want you gotta be cold and calculating, always increasing your chances, to be the oportunist who looks for chances, no one is good enough for you.. until she proves it to your with her body and soul.
of course, they judge your status in life, you dont have to be rich, but at least be a money making engine/have a steady career, they want to latch onto that for their confidence.
you gotta learn how to judge their character, who has a true heart? and who is just a spoiled weakling?
dont stick your dick inside of greedy, and definitley dont stick your dick in crazy.
good luck.

 

PUA is a scam. The general consensus among game gurus is that there is no such thing as women out of your league and you just have to learn game and act alpha to get them. While game may actually work if you are a guy with enough looks and status and only with certain type of women, for many guys, especially average and under average in looks, it may won't work. Red pilled men/PUAs/Game gurus are very bluepilled about looks. It is very hard to date up and for many men it is much better to work on their status and looks to make dating pool bigger than to learn game.

Also I think that game is mostly useless if you want stable long-time relationship. Genrally game gurus quite dislike the idea of long term relationship, not to mention marriage. The most ridiculous and sad case was a game guru from my country, Poland, Vincent who said that he left the love of his life, the woman he had best time ever to improve himself as a PUA. The time he got most women were his loneliest period ever.

I thinj that if somebody is not "chad" or "chad lite" type of person who wants to use their potential as much as he can, game can be not helpful. If you are not very attractive and confident, fixing this as much as possible are priorities, because this will bring real increase in value. And the lifestyle PUA are idealising might be not very healthy. Some of them had confirmed insecurities or depression and having sex with as many women as possible was just a coping mechanism.

 

I say improve what you want to and be yourself. I've tried to get ladies off of those methods and pretending to be somebody that I'm not and most of them can tell instantly if you aren't being genuine.

Funny part is, then i said fuck that noise & started being myself. And a consoderable amount (when comparing from zero, not a whole bunch) of girls actually hit on me. An important clarification is that not all of them do that, of course. But just like people, some girls are shy while some are more upfront meaning they make advances first. Advances, being showing subtle to extremely obvious hints they want me to make the first advance and then i do. This happens more, but not always, when they're drunk as well as myself. With non shy girls, it seems the drunker they get, the more obvious the signs come.

But then there's some who are shy but you can tell are into you. The way you can tell is just an instinct after a while bc there's a definite line between being friendly and being into you, which alot of guys get confused. But I've gotten good at distinguishing between those and ill make an advance and itll work out most of the time. Usually shy people get nervous when approached, especially when they didn't drop hints, and get approached. I know this bc I'm a relatively shy person.

But the world is a cruel place for shy guys (shy gals will do alright) and for introverted people (gals and guys). So now when i see an attractive woman (which happens all the time) and i get a little nervous at the thought of approaching her, I'll approach sometimes. This has helped me immensely.

I say only sometimes bc it depends on the situation. If im pumping gas at a station and 3 pumps down theres a cute lady that hasnt seen me, i would never approach her. I'm a tall ass dude, i would get pepper sprayed. I would imagine girls dont like getting approached by bigger men out in public for no reason. You know.. because adults rape eachother... somewhat frequently.

So like i approach and step out of that comfort zone at the right times, i like to get them to awknowledge my existence first. And i also like their to be some (even if its just a little bit) of mutual interest between us before just pulling up on them. I realize my heoght kinda throws off my game, while other times it is my game. So its a balance.

I would try to be yourself, stop looking at those vids, and slowly step out of your comfort zone. And please go slowly. You mentioned you didnt have pleasing facial features, mayne try hitting the gym or work on your comedy. I feel like if you can make them laugh alot when approaching, youre golden. I know it's a cliche but focusing on yourself (not intensively or stressfully) and being yourself is your best bet

 

& not over-thinking this shit also. When i say i make an advance, im not being sexual towards them. I initially just talk to them like they're a person instead of a piece of meat like alot of guys do. I get to know their vibe and they figure out mine as well. You know, if theyre an asshole or not. But then again, I'm not getting laid left and right mainly due to porn, so idk if what im doing is the right thing. Maybe i should be more sexual up front, who knows? I'm still learning

 

Those PUAs treat women as prizes to be won and they act as though there are tried and true methods that will work every time. Pro tip: women are individuals! We aren't all into the same thing and we won't all respond to the same men in the identical manner. Personally I find PUAs repulsive, predatory, and many other women do too. We can spot them a mile away.

You'll go a lot further in life if you take that advice above about building confidence in whatever you're in to.

 

pua's are just a childish exageration of what society already is.
everbody are playing games, women are playing games, tricks and shit-tests on men all the time..
what pua's do right out blatantly, many women do in a stealthy way - that is, being dishonest and playing games and tricks to get what they want.

the real issues with the pickup culture is that it dosen't teach you to understand what your heart needs, just to "score", so then you end up with a woman with a personality that is totaly not suitable for yours, and well, its better to be sexless than to get intimate with someone with bad emotional issues, there are many like that so its better to just aim for real love partner and cut the bullshit.

 

Are you going to listen some guy who has everything he needs about how to help us, the average, when it comes to dating? These people make profit out of the misery and loneliness of people like you or me. Why would they care about giving advice that actually works?

 

The only dating coach I trust is Coach Black Pill. I don't agree with all his advices (his big on numbers), but he says no bullshit.

 

The so called "PUAs" want you to think that women are the magical pill and when you take it - you will start living happily. But, of course, this is not true. These guys (and girls) mainly want your money.

Women are something external. In order to be a really happy and confident man, you should work on your internal.

When you are in a good internal state, you will start attracting the external things, but in a good form.

This is how this Universe works.

 

I disagree. If you are a mess no woman will help you, but in some life situation partner is last missing part of a puzzle. A partner, not hook ups. The "focus on inner when lonely" ideology can work, but after certain point it becomes just a cope.

 

Yup. Even if it does all work out, are you going to be honest with the girl of your dreams and tell her you snagged her due to psychological trickery you got off the internet? All you need is the confidence to get to the point where you are comfortable with yourself and talking to women, and allowing them to get to know you and decide whether they like you (and you like them). They aren't 'prey'. Many of them are looking for a guy just like you.

 

PUA = Childish games being played out of deep insecurities in order to gain validation because they can't validate themselves.

If you have to convince / manipulate / put on a performance / act like someone that you think other people will like you for / trick / deceive someone into being interested in you then you'll have to do it for the rest of your relationship together out of paranoia and fear. You will always walk on eggshells and you will always need validation from outside sources.

Whenever people ask me about my "game", I explain it like this... I'm terrible with women that aren't interested in who I really am and I'm amazing with women that are interested in who I really am. When I got passed all my immature insecurities and I experienced that playing games led me to great unhappiness (and the unhappiness of others), I realized that I want to treat others right and I want to love who I am. So I allow those who aren't interested to reject me so we can both move on to people that resonate with us more. I'm honest about who I am and direct with my desires.

You will never find your better place, with better people, as a better version of yourself if you're too busy hiding who you are or acting like somebody that you're not. This doesn't mean never aim to become better or never change. It means go deeper and evolve who you are, who you want to be, and what you're interested in rather than throwing away your values and self respect at the first sight of a woman with attractive physical attributes.

An amazing thing happened when I stopped playing immature games. Women stopped playing games with me as well. On the rare times that it does happen, I quickly change my focus and move on to mature and emotionally intelligent women that treat me right.

Tricks are for kids who are desperate, needy, emotionally unstable, immature, and afraid. I know because I used to be one. A lot more people liked me back when I tricked or convinced people to be interested in a watered down fake version of me. These days not as many people like me, a lot more reject me, but also a lot more love the real me.

My life is now about loving others who love me and letting go of the ones that don't.

 

Also, I'm not saying the methods of PUA doesn't work.

They do.

It's just that you'll attract people just as deceiving, manipulative, immature, paranoid, desperate, fake, and inexperienced as you are.

If a superficial life and relationships is all you want, that's what you'll get if you go down that road.

You'll stroke your ego a lot.

"Look at how hot and sexy my partner is. Look at how much sex I'm having. Look at how many people I've convinced to be interested in me. Look at all the things I have that everyone else doesn't have. Wait... why do I feel like shit?"

 

As you get older, the unfairness you mention flips in a big way.

This will likely never make your todo list and you may find sex in old age gross, but as you get older, the women typically outlive the men.

As they age, women will lose their husbands left and right and will be dying to find new men.

I wish you a long life so you can experience having the ladies fawning over you and finding every excuse to spend time with you.

[Note: I have not personally experienced this, but I’ve seen it with my grandfather who lived to be 97 and the 55+ communities in the area that are reported to be hotbeds for geriatric STDs.]