62 Days in - My Experiences

So, I've managed to do 62 days, which is definitely a record for me. But I am 40, so maybe I would have struggled a lot more when I was 20.

My libido has come and gone in waves, but generally there seems to have been an improvement. If I get a good night's sleep, I usually either wake up with an erection or I am aware that I had erections during the night (briefly waking up). So it's good to know that things are physically working normally.

No wet dreams yet, but then I never had wet dreams anyway because I started masturbating when I was 12 or 13 before I got the chance to have them.

If I fantasise during the day (without touching myself), I often get a semi-erection, but not a full one. No spontaneous daytime erections, which I'm glad about. I can do without that kind of embarrassment.

I feel like my libido has changed direction, though. Although I feel somewhat sexually charged, I don't particularly feel the need to masturbate or to look at porn. My fantasies now are much more to do with real life possibilities. I fantasise about what might happen with a woman I am going to date. My libido now seems geared towards real life.

I've got a date set up with a woman on Saturday 27th April. On paper, she seems like a good match for me, into very similar things. Then I have a date planned with a different woman for Saturday 18th May. Seems a bit far in the future, but she said she's genuinely busy with family stuff and holidays until then. But we have an understanding that if I find someone else before then I can just cancel.

I don't know what will happen if I have sex with one of these women. Will I struggle to get it up? Will I cum in a few seconds? I don't know. I suppose I should do kegel exercises...

 

75 days now!

 

Thanks Hank.

Overall I don't think I've noticed any particularly special change in how I feel. Everything seems to vary a bit from day to day, so it's difficult to really spot anything significant, other than my reduced desire for porn.

I'm in good health anyway, so generally I tend to feel pretty good anyway. However, recently I have been having problems sleeping (not caused by nofap, caused by other factors), which has clouded the issue somewhat. I am managing to sort that out now, though, and last night I slept reasonably well. So I'll have a better idea of how things are going once I've had a week or two of good sleep.

 

Confidence is an interesting one. In general my confidence has been increasing in recent years, totally independently of anything to do with PMO. That's mainly due to more life experience and leading an outdoor mindfulness group.

Specifically in terms of confidence with women, I don't tend to be in the habit of cold approaching women. But the past year I have been hitting online dating really hard, and I find I don't tend to get too nervous these days. In fact, in general lately I feel like I've lost a lot of fear that I used to have. Whether that relates to NoFap or not I don't know.

I am starting to think that a lot of the reported psychological benefits of NoFap are really placebo. If you think NoFap will make you more confident, perhaps it will make you more confident due to believing it will? I think it's perfectly possible to fap every day and still be confident with women, if that's the mindset you get yourself into. But of course, what NoFap can give you is more motivation to connect with real women because you know you'll no longer have the sexual release on your own.

As for the actual physical sexual benefits, that remains to be seen. I have a date planned for 18th May, plus I'm working on improving my online dating profiles (taking new photos of myself and using photofeeler.com to try to find the best ones). When I meet that woman on the 18th, I will be around the 90 day mark. So I'll have to assess around that time how things are going. I'm not necessarily committed to this forever. It's an experiment really.

One thing I will say is that I've never really felt bad after fapping like many people report. I didn't usually feel depressed or anything like that. When people feel awful after fapping, I wonder if there is more going on there, e.g. low nutrient levels or deeper psychological issues. Usually, the only times I felt bad after sexual experiences was when I'd had disappointing sex with a prostitute.

 

82 days now.

My libido seems to be going through a bit of a flatline at the moment, although my penis seems to be more sensitive whenever I touch it. Seem to get erections most nights. No particular desire to look at porn.

Other than that, everything seems absolutely normal.

 

Age is just a number really. I don't think about it much to be honest.