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Binged and I lost all my progress:( MY 2 YEAR STORY

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 31shotscrazy, May 3, 2019.

  1. 31shotscrazy

    31shotscrazy Fapstronaut

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    hey whats up guys, hope you’re all having a good day. I just want to give an update on my nofap journey. Which I started nearly 2 years ago. Well i must say there has been both good and bad moments, mostly bad but it taught me that I MUST appreciate every small beautiful moment there is. Because this addiction can rip you apart, even when abstaining it can destroy you with the withdrawal symptoms. I’m coming up on my 18th birthday now and I’m coming out as a loser, as much as I would like to call my self a winner for attempting and completing over 350 days. I have reset all my progress by the 11+ relapses that took place last month to porn. Everything that i wanted to achieve has been attempted, i built a decent business, improved my grades, my family and friends relationships so all in all, not too bad. I’m on day 11 now and once again I need to beat this shit as i have lost a major battle but the war is yet to be handled. Anyone that’s reading this I BEG YOU. DO NOT RELAPSE. You are living in euphoria compared the withdrawal hell that comes from a relapse, and if you already relapsed - you can get on back the train and emit your benifits, HOWEVER, if you binge, be prepared for the worst, now I know that i have undone alot of my progress but mentally I am more prepared than ever. I am no pussy. The last thing that I shall be called is a “quitter”, because I’m gonna go out there, ace my grades, complete this flatline and live my best life because there’s more to life than just crying and worrying about the flatline, this is not to forget all those times that i shed tears in my darkest moments. Go out there and SMASH your streak soldiers!
     
  2. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
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    Something good always comes from bad events. At least you will always remember what happened when you were about to turn 18. I keep the memory of how I turned 18 last summer clearly in my mind as motivation and a reminder. I promised myself that one day I will make up for that birthday. I will decide a day whenever I want in the future to celebrate what I didn't celebrate earlier. You were doing good already, but now you can do better with this experience. See you in the better future.
     
  3. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    Dont get too hung up on failing at Nofap, its a great practise to try to eliminate PMO from your life sure. However it isnt the be all and end all of happiness and fulfillment. Probably gonna be an unpopular opinion but when I hear about the major withdrawal effects after a relapse I cant help but think its all self induced in your own mind. If after a relapse you feel like your being dragged through hell and back then theres likely other underlying issues. Going on a little binge once in a blue moon isnt gonna have any effect on your mental state at all in the long run.

    The fact is there plenty of people who masterbate everyday to porn and live very happy and mentally stable lives. So you went on a little binge, just see it as a little bump in the road and jump back on the wagon. I guess my point is that nofaps a great and rewarding practise, but theres a danger in letting it take over your life and be responsible for your overall happiness
     
    31shotscrazy and CH3RRY like this.
  4. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

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    Look on the bright side, you are working to quit porn and you haven't even turned 18 yet.
    Many folks waste half their lives watching porn.
     
  5. seekagoodlife

    seekagoodlife Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, you're on 11 days right now! You are already on a great streak and you show a ton of motivation! As you said, I BEG YOU, DO NOT RELAPSE. You will feel 100 times better and more proud of yourself if you fight off todays urge and go to bed without fapping. When you wake up tomorrow, you will be so proud. You feel amazing on Nofap, but you will like shit when you fap...so why fap? Stay strong. Peace.
     
    ace1234, 31shotscrazy and CH3RRY like this.
  6. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
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    What you are saying is very true. I personally made the discovery that abstaining isn't about this kind of die-hard mentality where you first gain benefits and then lose them whenever your streak ends. It is about stability, which extends to everything else in life as well. When you relapse, you don't really lose anything, you're just prolonging your recovery.

    Many think they lost everything which makes them react negatively to "failing". But when you relapse, it is actually a very good moment to practice feeling stable. Exactly 1 month ago I PMO'd 3 times during that Friday. Afterwards I was feeling just as I had been prior to my binge session. Of course I wasn't belittling what I had done, but I knew it was just a slip-up and that I could easily come back from it. I think this is the best state anyone can reach in abstaining, the kind of mindset where you aren't negatively influenced by relapsing. Again, it's not about belittling but rather about not freaking out. Adapting a stable way of thinking will benefit the whole recovery process.
     
  7. 31shotscrazy

    31shotscrazy Fapstronaut

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    No, I’m sorry but although i do agree with you to some extent but there is no way in hell that it is just in my “own mind” withdrawal is a VERY real thing, just as how you would quite hard drugs like cocaine or meth - you would experience side affects from low dopamine and desensitized receptors. Personally, whenever i go through it, I feel anhedonia, depression and numbed emotions - and on the flip side when I’m out of the flatline - I feel like a rockstar, a boss, happier in general. These symptoms do not happen to everyone as the more of a hardcore addict you were, the more likely this would happen.
     
  8. seekagoodlife

    seekagoodlife Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. Totally agree.
     
  9. Younameit

    Younameit Fapstronaut

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    flatline is hell on earth bruh
     
  10. DiegoNunez7749

    DiegoNunez7749 Fapstronaut

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    So after 350 days you still have urges???
     
  11. Younameit

    Younameit Fapstronaut

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    did you get cured?
     
  12. Very true, I believe a lot of the ideas here on NoFap are placebo and all mental.

    HOWEVER, people who actually suffer a real addiction where porn is effecting then physically and mentally, then there is a problem.

    I’d say people who crave porn and the rush it brings, those are the people who need to reboot. Those who suffer porn escalation, ED, the need for visual stimulation, basically they become cut off from reality, is when they need to stop completely.

    Porn is like anything else, look at alcohol, a lot of people drink it and are very happy, it has little effects on their life, but then look at alcoholics, they are addicted, and it is ruining their life.

    All addicts must understand that their addiction is distorting their reality in some way, porn kind of destroys the sexual reality of ones life.
     

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