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Extreme rationalization

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by pidja105, Apr 10, 2019.

  1. pidja105

    pidja105 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,
    I have relapsed at same day on nofap because of the same reason the third time in a row.
    Problem is:
    First 7-10 days I feel fine even completely without fantasizing. Afterwards I start to feel more energy which I have to release sexually.
    I can find myself in a two states of mind. First state is after 7-10 days when I try to rationalize porn and begin searching on google for reasons to push me into a relapse. At that state as days pass, I feel like nofap is pointless and then it is a matter of time when will I relapse, I then feel like I will not nofap evermore and that I will masturbate every day because as I think nofap is pointless... After a relapse I instantly change that state of mind and feel terrible and going for a new streak and I realize things,
    My question is how can I prevent rationalizing and all that other things??
    Thank you in advance.
     
  2. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    Hello buddy, I hope you're doing fine.
    You are here and you have decided to leave PMO because at some point you realized this addiction is taking over your life and making you lose a lot of things. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. So you KNOW FOR SURE that nofap is not pointless. With that said let's talk about why you think it's pointless! Well the answer is pretty easy: It's your mind tricking you. Your mind makes you buy into bullshits like: "nofap is pointless" so you can relapse again and give your mind another quick gratification. Don't fall for it. But how to resist them when these thoughts occur? How can you save yourself from these stupid justifications that appear to be so rationalized? Well the answer is: Have a reason why or reasons why for leaving PMO. Write them down on notebook. Review these reasons often... I see you're 16 years old... that is a real delicate age... you can make a lot of progress if you choose and build healthy habits... I am 25 years old and there are a lot of things I have lost due to PMO... Don't make my mistake... Think about your wishes... and do your best to make them come true...It can happen...You just have to start doing it!
    My advice is to have a special notebook and write down journals everyday.
    You can also try self positive talk when urges emerge... Talk to yourself as if you're talking to a friend who's in trouble... try to be there for yourself...Support yourself... encourage yourself to read your reasons why and your notebook.
    Hope this helps.
     
  3. pidja105

    pidja105 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I will try that!
     
  4. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    So one thing I would point out is that it's really hard to quit masturbation as well as porn at the same time. Especially when you're 16 and you don't have a gf (you didn't mention one).
    Our need for porn and our need for sexual release are obviously tied, but they're not exactly the same thing. Most of who you are would be fine to just release through masturbation to fantasy. But there's a part of you that really wants to do it with porn. You have to deal with that part first.
    So unless you've only watched porn for only 2-3 years, I would recommend allowing yourself to masturbate to fantasy and focus on quitting porn.

    Also get out of that mindset that you need to "resist" porn. If you need to resist you already lost. Because that means you want it bad. And you can't fight your own will forever, let me tell you that.
    What you need to do instead is to change your opinion about porn. You have to really understand how cheap it is and how much it costs to have it in your life. You have to able to look at it and genuinely be like "nah, I don't want that."
     

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