I can't have wet dreams, but I want to

I've never been terribly interested in porn, but I masturbated about once a day for a long time. It wasn't usually very time consuming and I didn't usually think about sexual stuff during the day.

A couple years ago I tried to quit, but I noticed that if I go about 20 days without ejaculation, I will wake up in the middle of the night immediately before ejaculation with near-impossible-to-control urges. If I resist it (this is very difficult) and go back to sleep, I just wake up again about half an hour later. I wish I could just stay asleep and squirt in my pants.

I believe about 20 days is my maximum for not ejaculating. It may be a bit longer now since I'm a bit older. If I resist masturbating after waking up after an interrupted wet dream, I'll be exhausted from lack of sleep, and then it will start to dribble out slowly while I'm flaccid and awake. Then the same thing will happen again the next day.

I notice that the more I masturbate, the more I need to masturbate, so that if I decide I'll give in when I wake up due to a wet-dream, or when the urge is strong enough to make sleep difficult, I'll need to do it gradually more often, until I do it about once every 2 to 5 days.

I did succeed in going NoFap for about a year. I slept poorly for a couple months until I was so exhausted that I simply didn't wake up during a wet dream. Then I kept having wet dreams about once every 20 days. But I had a relapse after about a year, and I found afterwards that my one relapse had already set me back to waking up during wet dreams! I don't want to be an insomniac for 3 months every time I have a relapse, so I've not attempted NoFap again. I've only attempted to do it a little less often than I feel like it. I don't think I've got the discipline not to EVER mess up, and 3 months of insomnia seems like a high price to pay every time I make a mistake.

Ideally I'd like to be able to never ejaculate except into my future wife, or involuntarily. I would prefer that all of my actions are meaningful. I figure a wet-dream, since it's involuntary, can't be more shameful than defecation or sneezing. But I'm not clear on the issue when I'm not able to unconsciously release my semen.

Has anyone else had this problem or even heard of this problem before? Do you know how to train yourself to not wake up during wet-dreams? I've read up on lucid dreaming but it's hard to do, and if I were lucid dreaming, then I'd be controlling it anyway, wouldn't I?

If you don't know how I can train myself not to wake up during wet dreams, can you think of a good attitude I could take towards masturbation? What would you do if your body needed to ejaculate sometimes, but was unable to do it while you were sleeping?

 

So you don't think masturbating after you wake up from a wet dream is the same thing as when you do it while awake?

 

Oh, thanks sacred semen, that was really helpful. I will try that.

So your sleep regimen is no sugar 3 hours before sleeping, work out really hard before going to sleep, take some natural sleep pills, and read a book. I will try that. It sounds much better than having a period of insomnia every time I have a relapse.

I was also considering the option of getting really drunk before going to sleep to try to knock myself out before I think I might have a wet dream, but I don't know if that's healthy. I have heard drinking milk before bed can help you sleep too, so I was going to try that as well.