How does it feel like to relapse after 30-40 days? (triggering?)

The physical pleasure of the orgasm wasn’t anything compared to the disappointment I felt when I told my wife that I relapsed around day 35 or so. It sucked. Don’t even try to experiment and keep going strong.

 

It feels like shit. Don't do it.

 

The feeling was intense, i got a nice warm feeling in my head followed by dissapointment of what i just did. Keep in mind that this was also the first time i MO with only sensation ,no mental stimula so it was kind of a intense experience. Then the cravings got worse and i had 2 months of binging. This dopamine fluctuations causes IBS like symptoms. Everytime i orgasm i would fart like crazy, no joke. Now i am on a new streak (10d) and the farting stopped, but the restless legs syndrome is coming back. RLS is a nightmare because you know you can take that pain away just by masturbating for 3 minutes. I think i am one of the unlucky onces with bad withdrawal symptoms.

 

The disappointment is indescribable. You actually become more sensitive to stimulation and you will probably ejaculate much faster that you would without prior abstinence. You also get an intense dopamine rush. But the disappointment following ejaculation is so bad that you can fall into a depression for a good 7 to 10 days. That's what happened to me when I lost my steak on 69 days.

 

I did this a while ago before I was on this website and only used the brain buddy app.

It's a horrible feeling. The feeling of losing all the progress you have made, having to start over, it can lead down a bad path for some. For me, it made me have this "fuck it" attitude where I fell back into PMO for well over a year.

I'm back now, I'm on 11 days with no Porn, fighting addictions to sexting and sex in general, but I'm going to beat it this time. Dont let months of hard work go down the drain for a few minutes of pleasure. Pleasure does not make you happy!!!

 

Wow bro your answer is exactly how i felt after i relapse on day 81. I didn't even enjoy that moment. I felt so disappointed. I had failed myself and it was a disgusting feeling.
It's hard to deal with it.

 

Relapsed on day 80 about a week ago. So close to 90. 80 was still the most I've ever done. I learned a lot of lessons; traps not to fall into n such. It was really hard to tell my gf. At first I didn't feel that bad, I was actually proud of myself for making it to 80. Now it's starting to dawn on me as I relapse every couple days trying to get back on the wagon. It's just as hard as it was (to quit) before.

 

Bro its exactly the same for me. We are exactly in the same situation ahah you habe 3 days i have 3 days that's amazing

 

Ah I actually have 0 days as of a few hours ago. Need to update that.

 

So true on that last sentence!

 

Yes. The hot flash is very scary. The realisation that dopamine addiction is real once you relapse after 45 days and you experience an intense high like never before. I masturbated in my relapse every day for 2 weeks straight and every day the orgasms became less intense, but the cravings got worse.

The worst fear i had was that new neuropaths would build around masturbating by focusing on sensation only, so i had 2 neuropathways craving for dopamine, one for porn the other for sensation. Maybe this is why withdrawal is alot worse now.

 

What is this "hot flash" you describe, @Originaldutchcow?

 

The very hot sensation that radiates from your brain out wards to your face and neck. At first this is paired with pleasure, then the pleasure fades and you just feel warmth for a minute or so. Dopamine is a strange thing.

 

I think I know what you mean by this, except in my case it is a consistent hot feeling in my forehead - even when I don't PMO.

 

Bro i'm sure you will soon get over that period of binging. If in the past, like me you had a streak of 80 days, i'm sure you can do it again. That's for sure

 

To me relapses were always a disappointment arousal wise. The initial arousal when I decided to relapse was high, because I knew I'm doing something very naughty, and my heart was racing. But the actual PMO session was average, maybe even below average. The reason for this is that, just like with Red Bull which tastes disgusting on first sip, I need to get used to it by doing it a couple times to have the best effect.
So that helps me to know that porn is never as great as I thought it was in the moments when I've decided to relapse. It's all a big illusion, it's a freaking glowing screen with 2D representations of real women which trick your biology into cumming. Of course it's fake and you know it's fake but you play along. Just like we play along when we watch a movie and we go "yeah ok, I'll believe for 2hrs that dragons are real, no problem" but the difference is a movie only costs you 20bucks and not your entire sexuality.

 

Thanks bruh