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hi again

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Apr 2, 2019.

  1. Well, I've been on this site quite a while back. I think its been at least 3-5 years. I'm not quite sure. NoFap didn't seem to be working for me at first. I was a devout Christian at the time. I'm not a Christian anymore so most of the guilty feelings have gone away. I'm still ashamed at the fact I masturbate like I do. I am sexually disturbed as I have other issues why I wish I didn't fap. I look to take things in a different way. Prayer, religion and God is not the answer for me anymore. I would appreciate it if those who look forward to religion to fix their problems, would leave it out for me. Christianity did not help me at all. In fact, I felt more suicidal for the feelings of guilt I've had and it is not a way of life I look forward to in helping me become a better person.

    My plans are this: I am not looking forward to quitting cold turkey. As much as I'd like to be free from masturbation, I still do not believe in setting a goal so hard on myself. I'd like to limit my masturbation, yes. Perhaps I can become a bit cleaner about it too, hehe. I tend to rub my you know what on my shirts. Yeah I know... It's pretty disgusting..... Anyhow, I'm single and I've been single for a long time. I kind of like being single. I don't feel I can ever have a sexual relationship with someone as much as I sometimes wish I could. I have many other personal and private issues as to why I'm like that. If you become closer to me, perhaps I'll tell. It's quite shameful. But.... Here is the last paragraph...

    To me... I've learned that masturbation can be very pleasurable. I don't believe everyone has to stop it. But if you are looking forward to quitting, this is the place for you. My beliefs have definitely changed over the years. So my final goal is looking for perhaps a sexual counselor or therapist that I can speak to and eventually stopping my fap fun house lol. So I'm once again in the journey taking it from a different perspective. Just call me Grotto.
     
    ReclaimingMyDestiny likes this.
  2. Hey Grotto, glad you're here! I'm not trying to quit masturbating either; but for me personally I'm quitting it during my reboot in order to help build better habits about it as I intend to quit porn once and for all. Do you have any specific goals you're working towards? I'm convinced that the more specific we make our goals the better our chances are at obtaining/maintaining them.
     
  3. Quitting porn is definitely one of my goals. It seems porn is getting darker. More violence and things I wish I could take my eyes off of. It is really disturbing. I do feel the need to speak to a sexual professional. I have many fears of that because in the past I've spoken to numerous doctors and have been in and out of psyche wards. Then again, people say a therapist or counselor is different because they don't give you meds. I guess I'm talking to much now..... This has nothing to do with my goals.

    Goals are: 1.) limit my masturbation use
    2.) stop watching porn and learn to overcome the desires I have when I masturbate. If I could masturbate and not have any desires what so ever, it wouldn't bother me. It's the desires I have when I masturbate and the feelings and emotions that overcome my thought process that throw me in a funk. It's more like overcoming the mind and self-control.
    3.) As hard as this last goal is: It's more about learning to become the man I am. I struggle with development and still feel like I'm 10 years younger. 14 year old in a 24 year old body. A lot of adult things still seem to bother me. Facing responsibility and becoming independent is extremely hard for me. I am on disability as I struggle with many different mental disorders. I just want to be happy. I'm not there yet. It's time to quit thinking hard of myself. I'd rather live then say how I want to die before I'm 30 in the past.
    4.) Overcome my hatred and anger. Seems I got a hell of a rebellious spirit in me about this world and how society is and everything else. It's doing me no good to dwell on it and thinking is another problem I guess. I used to hate it when people told me I think to much. I guess its good in a way but not when I keep dwelling and day dreaming about things that will never happen. As Dumbledoor told Harry Potter: It does men no good to dwell on dreams.

    5.) So yeah... lol. I guess that's what I'm trying to work on now. Hehe :D
     
    ReclaimingMyDestiny likes this.
  4. I hear you. I wouldn't fear talking to a therapist though, it sounds like it would do you a lot of good as far as processing these intense thoughts and feelings. If you're open and honest with the doctors then it's probably best to trust their judgment as they'll be looking out for your best interest.

    Your goals sound solid and I wish you luck on all of them. Since you're placing limitation of masturbating as number one, I'd recommend defining that clearer to yourself. How will you limit it? For example, will you allow yourself once a week? Twice? If so, maybe know what day of the week that will be. The reason is that this way you'll know whether or not you're succeeding. Again, being specific and avoiding vagueness in your terms will help you to build success on top of success and will help you to gauge your progress. For me 2) doesn't ensure success with 1) but it helps a lot! 1), and 2) together, along with replacing those bad habits with healthy ones will make 3) almost take care of itself. Seeing a psychologist can also really help with all of these goals, so I don't think your first paragraph is off topic at all.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2019
  5. Jerry120

    Jerry120 Fapstronaut

    Welcome back! Hopefully, this time the site will work better for you. It'll just be some time before you can quit it all and fit your program. All the same, this is all based on your goals as you said. Everyone has their reason and I'm sure you have your's too.
     

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