This my problem with PMO addiction - Tips, advices, suggestions are needed

Hi guys, to keep this as short as possible i have come across a very serious problem that i have for a quite a while, yet i can't figure out what to do, as i can't see it all from 3rd person's view hopefully some of you can give me any type of insight that would guide me to the right way ....

So, basically my problem is i would get to a specific number of days usually about 15 days, during those 15 days i am highly motivated, cravings are mild i manage to deal with them.

However, problems occur once cravings have higher intensity, i am aware i should do something else and occupy my mind, ride it out.
I am aware of my reasons to quit porn, and i am aware of what porn is actually about and what harm it does.

But the main problem is once urges have higher intensity, i just sit and battle my mind, even though deep down i am aware that's not the way to go. Eventually, i just say screw it and relapse 3 times in a row. Now, once cravings are present, its like i forget everything i know about PMO addiction, and just simply do not feel like pushing forward thus leading to relapse.

For instance, if cravings are intense, i would think of "maybe i should do this or that instead" and then i would reply with "yeah but, i dont feel like doing that" so i just sit down and battle my mind, and we both know who wins.

If anyone has any tip, suggestion, or literally anything that can help please do not hesitate to post.

 

In fact, i opened a porn tube site, heart was pounding badly but then i went to the kitchen to make me some toast, then figured out its all basically the same, its all about the same repetitive thing, and i knew where would it lead me, i thought to myself "dude, come on, the more you postpone this, bigger problem you have, you have to suffer to win" but then i was like: "well, i already watched few videos, so screw it eh"

Honestly, i expected it to be exciting, it was exciting for about 60 seconds, after that while i was still watching porn rational mind kicked in and while jerking off i thought how would this backfire at me again, how i'll feel like shit and how the hell will i be able to beat this addiction. Honestly i already saw a problem while watching porn, but all of the excitement was gone, it was more like a routine. Which is odd, never felt like that as far as i know. So of course, i relapsed 2 more times to enjoy the scenes longer, but turns out they weren't as pleasing as i thought. Literally porn videos weren't as pleasing as i thought, let alone once i reached orgasm.

Having a plan would definitely help, i also daydream a lot, one of my biggest problems. I would daydream since i was a kid...

Thanks for the tips guys.

 

Uhh not really, the craving came in once i sat down in front of my PC, came home from work sat down played a game, but something wasn't quite right. I wasn't feel like playing it, and i wasn't up for anything else.

In fact, we could say i was bored and tired. Therefore, once craving kicked in, i decided that i would rather sit and try to dodge cravings, rather than getting up and occupying myself with something. And of course it turned out exactly as i expected it to be, with a relapse.

Speaking of going outside in a park or rest, i tried that many many times, but i can't seem to stop my racing thoughts, If you get me. I would get out, go for a walk, sit on a bench and then my mind would be like "ohh well, gotta remind you you had those cravings again, so lets have them again" i would get up, start walking again, and i would have cravings while taking a walk. Or, i would notice i would stress myself over constantly with thoughts like "well shit, what if i beat this urge now, urge will probably come back in few hours again, what the hell should i do then, how would i be able to cool it down, how will i survive this whole day with urge intense like this this is exhausting" then i would just become all overwhelmed, my mind would race, it feels like shit, very unpleasant feeling. It feels like i have 10 hands pulling me, each to its own side at the same time, trying to rip me apart.

Perhaps overthinking is one of my huuuuuuuuuuuuge problems, its really exhausting. Honestly, i have no troubles reaching 15 to 20 days, but these are days where literally no benefits happen. Some people notice benefits after 5 days, i notice them only if i manage to beat such cravings, and beating them, is not that simple.
So during those 15 days, i do not feel all great and such, i mostly feel shitty. Which is also exhausting.

 

You are completely correct, thank you for your advice. Its time to dust myself off, learn something new from this negative outcome and get back on journey and get prepared until next session of cravings come.

Correct, my problem is that i constantly focus on future, i only live in future, therefore im always anxious and worried. Constantly living in future and thinking about it, lets my own mind create all types of outcomes, scenes and "whatifs" and such therefore it makes me suffer even more, in the end it makes me overwhelmed and i cannot handle to cope with, so i simply go with the flow of lesser resistance.

Few people here have suggested me that book, i will read it for sure. I should also get into working out while implementing cold showers, haven't thought of that at all. Thank you for your advice really appreciate it.