Married and PMO

Lordy, I think most women here would give anything if their PA partners would be turned on and tempted by them.

 

I WISH my man was like this.

Sadly. I do remember what it was like to be able to turn on a man like that. Even sadder, it’s not my man. I could be naked all day long and he wouldn’t even notice. It really messes with your self esteem.

Your wife is lucky.

 

I just want to point out that @Empty shell of a girlfriend is responding to the fact that you lust after your wife. I highly doubt that she read the post where you refer to fantasising about sharing her/watching her with other men. That is an incredibly hurtful thing to want from a partner, and is like trying to turn them into porn, wanting to watch them and disconnect, rather than to connect and share one another with only one another. I think the advice about sticking to your original plan is good advice. But after the 30 days, DO NOT go back to P and M. If you choose to reintroduce sex and O at this point, then see it as an opportunity to rediscover the pleasures of connecting with your wife, of pleasing her, and engaging in the sort of sex that makes both of you happy, not in living out P based fantasies you may have developed over the years.

 

Totally understand this.
I’m the same way.
Everything she does turns me on. I’ve been M free over 4 years. P free 2 1/2.
Now it’s all focused just on her.
But longer you go no pmo easier it gets to control thoughts.

 

So heartening to hear. Some days, comments like this are all that keeps me going and hoping. Congratulations!

 

The longer you go in your hard mode, the more your brain will "reset to factory mode". When you are closer to the 90 days or even right when the 90 days is up, have you considered doing karezza worr your wife? It is an incredible bonding experience that can bring so much closer to her and does amazing things to also help reset your focus on pure intimacy with her instead of thought about P and her.

 

You are 100% correct. I did not read that part. I would be really upset if my man had thoughts like that. However I do wish he would show any sign of lust for me.

 

This is interesting to me several years ago I realized for a season that I was wasting my sexual energy on PMO and decided to try to direct all my sexual energy towards my wife. Instead of m to porn I would fantasize about my wife I only fantasized about our real experiences not made up stuff. It seemed to really make things good for a while ... our sex life took off for a season but I think since we still had a lot of unresolved issues the PMO habit easily kicked back in and return to addiction took back over because of our lack of other layers of intimacy in our relationship. I am trying to once and for all get rid of PMO after 37 years of addiction (since I was 13) I did have a few extended seasons of no PMO over the years but now that I’ve found this forum I’m gaining a lot of insight. I am trying to reboot and get my sex drive totally back for my wife only I’m so sick and tired of the addiction. I am new here and on day 5 me and my wife sleep in separate rooms currently and haven’t had sex for a year I want to be totally turned on by her and be rid of this addiction!! We have some other problems in our marriage and I am hoping that I can hit 90 days with no PMO and I am also making some real changes in other areas of my life too. I have much to learn and a long way to go. But deep inside I want to break free from PMO.