Direction and Motivation

Hey Folks,
This is day 1 for me on NoFap and I thought it would be good to layout sorta my thoughts on the subject a bit for me and maybe it will encourage someone enough thatthey can push through just that one more day or night.

I was sitting in bed yesterday and I was doing PM and talking to my girlfriend at the same time and I had this sorta moment of revelation where I just looked at myself
and said, "Jesus Christ, I'm totally addicted, I hate this so much and I have no ability to stop it alone." I couldn't believe that it took me so long to see it by there is not a chance in hell that I'll be able to tough this out alone. I've tried before but when I elapsed I always had some sort of excuse as to why I wanted to do that. For sexual prowess or endurance or just cause it felt nice or I wanted to. That was a lie of course, addicts have little control over their addictions and that defines me to a T right now. 'm totally disgusted with myself and how far I've fallen. I used to think that P was just a thing that everyone did and there is nothing wrong with it. I was wrong about that too, its like drinking bleach. It doesn't matter if you drink a little bit or a lot bit, the hit is still destroying you and that is exactly the way I look at P now. Its an insidious, perverse little bastard that will marinate every crevice and crease of your mind and leave you a desiccated husk and just a shadow of what you once were.

I really want to marry this girl in a year or two and I just can't handle the idea of her finding out about this one day and just looking at me with her eyes full of betrayal.
She doesn't deserve that and I am trying my damnedest to kick this thing but I'm gonna need help. So brothers I'm coming to you guys so this thing doesn't eventually beatme to death and grind my bones into dust. I'm really gonna need your help and I'm gonna try to help as many as you guys as I can. Let me know if you need an
accountability partner.

I know for a fact that we Can do this, we don't have to live like this.

Porn and Masturbation is the enemy, not in some sort of symbolic sense but a very real presence that is going to try and destroy each of us and keep us enthralled forever.
We're guys, we're supposed to be leaders and warriors, and warriors kill their enemies. Let's rip out this enemy's throat and piss on its grave. Time to go to work.

 

Don't lose faith man, just keep grinding at the gym and making gains of the mind. Its gonna get better!