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I need ideas for relaxation

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by TryingHard2Change, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    What do you do to "relax" individually?

    And I'm asking for input from both PA's and SO's.

    I am in a scenario (that I firmly got MYSELF into) where I have no relationship with my wife...for the foreseeable future. (divorce is likely if you ask me) ... So I'm not looking for any ideas that involve date nights or doing something for or with your spouse/partner.

    In the realm of self-care ... what do people do?

    ..

    I work and commute and go to 3 recovery-related meetings + 1 Bible study every week. I really have little to no free time Mon-Fri. Sat and Sun, I do have some free time.

    I feel like I need to incorporate some new, deliberate downtime...but productive downtime, aimed at relaxation or something like that.

    What works for you?
     
  2. ThaaatGuy

    ThaaatGuy Fapstronaut

    Read and listen to my favorite music, those things makes me feel free.
     
    recon117 likes this.
  3. Jennica

    Jennica Fapstronaut

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    Mental relaxation. Watching a real good movie that will hold my attention while not emotionally feeling well.

    Massage therapy., something that I don’t do enough.

    Reading a good book.

    Exercise, running on a treadmill was huge for me. I would sleep so much better at night.

    Getting my hair done.

    Going somewhere new for sight seeing and window shopping, especially antique shops. I can spend hours just looking at all the old stuff. Some things would make me think of my childhood or grandparents. Always left me missing them but feeling good to remember them.

    Soaking in a hot bubble bath (or hot tub or soaking pool if there is one around).

    Arts and crafts. Costuming, making props. I can really throw myself into that and I always feel good after my creations are finished.

    Having a night with friends, good talks and hanging out. A really nice craft adult cocktail in the mix is good too, trying new food and sometimes really dressing up for it too can be fun.

    Coloring in color books. It’s a non messy way to be creative and helps to relax, get my mind off things and I can concentrate on something fun. There are so many fun adult coloring books out now at book stores.
     
    LEPAGE, Nugget9, recon117 and 3 others like this.
  4. 1dayattatime

    1dayattatime Fapstronaut

    I have thought that I was getting a divorce several times over the last two years. I feel for you man.

    A few things that I do for myself:

    1. Hiking in the woods. Something about being around trees that I know have weathered hundreds of storms and still stand. Also it helps me get outside of the busy life.

    2. Meditation. I use an app called aura. It is free for 1 3 minute guided meditation everyday. I personally have a hard time just sitting and being in my mind, but I can listen and be calmed.

    3. Cry time. I know this one sounds weird, but holy shit did it reduce my urges to act out sexually. I just sit in my room and try and think of things to cry about. I often just think about how I am not who I thought I was going to be when I was younger. I don't do this as much anymore because I have become more aware of my daily emotions

    4. Stretching. I personally don't work out too much, I have a fairly physical job, but I have been looking up excersices to do to help with areas of my body that are tight and have been bugging me.

    5. Video games, I actually have a game that I started playing when I was separated from my wife and it kept me sober for the first few months of one of my longest streaks.

    Literally there are so many things you could do. This is just things that I do, but this is your life. What do you want to learn about? Who do you want to be for you?
     
  5. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Thanks for posting your ideas. I downloaded the Aura app and did my first meditation...looking forward to that every morning now.

    I hear you about Cry Time...sometimes that emotional release is so helpful for me.

    Thanks again.
     
    1dayattatime likes this.
  6. phuck-porn!

    phuck-porn! Fapstronaut

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    meditation has been huge in my journey. I never did it before and now think it is basic self care. I started with headspace.com (paid service) and now mostly use the Insight Timer app- it has 1000s of free guided meditations and some interesting courses for cheap.

    this is a brand new concept to me. I'm gonna try it!
     
  7. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Oh yes! Sometimes I just have to put in a good cry movie that I know will bring it out in me and then I get the good cleansing cry.


    Music is another good one. playing or listening. Whichever one you need at the time.

    Sometimes I just need alone time. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Sometimes it's going to Target or the mall and just walking around, usually with headphones on to block people out, curling up in a chair in the evening with a book or a good movie, or just driving around the countryside.
     
    TryingHard2Change likes this.
  8. Queen_Of_Hearts_13

    Queen_Of_Hearts_13 Fapstronaut

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    Relaxation is tough for me but here are the things I do:

    1. Read books (whether recovery, psychology, or some subject of my interest)
    2. Take a hot relaxing bath (maybe with epsom salt) and read a book
    3. Walk on the treadmill listening to a playlist specifically for exercise
    4. Watch one of my "go-to" movies (I have about 3-5 movies that are my comfort movies)
    5. Play with my emotional support animal. My cat is very much like a dog so he follows me when I call him and we play together and will cuddle.
    6. Listen to podcasts
    7. Lay down and listen to music.
    8. Writing (for me writing a story can be relaxing and help me mentally take some space from my reality)
    9. Getting my hair done (it's the best feeling in the world, I only get it done 2-3 times a year though)
    10. Painting. When I was at SCAD I had to take some design classes and for one of the classes we used gouache paint and I fell in love with it. I haven't done it since SCAD, but I remember that when I was in that class, though the class was difficult, when I did the painting process I was so relaxed and calm. If I had the money I probably would get back into it.
     
    TryingHard2Change likes this.
  9. 1) Go for a walk in nature
    2) Play sports
    3) Spend time with friends and have fun
    4) Drink green tea
    5) Listen to your favorite type of music
    6) Play with your pet

    And the list goes on..
     
    TryingHard2Change likes this.
  10. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    Meditation is best to relax mentality and physically.. it will take some time to get used to it. But it worth trying. Learn and practice to sit for 30-45min.
     
  11. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    1dayattatime likes this.
  12. Numb

    Numb Fapstronaut

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    I like to read, take a walk preferably in the woods or away from people with my dog, play with or just spend time with the animals. Writing is great, though I don't do that much anymore, but I find writing poems and stories relaxing. Listen to music. Crafts, I enjoy making things so I'll draw, sculpt with clay, needle felting or cooking. Video games, yeah it seems a lot of people try to get away from them but I've always enjoyed them. I play single player games and a good game is like reading a book or watching a movie except you can interact with it. When the weather is nice I spend time outside and garden, playing in the dirt is always fun.
     
    1dayattatime likes this.
  13. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    @EyesWideOpen touched on this, but I find playing music relaxing. I play the violin both alone and in an orchestra (and sing in a choir). Do you play anything? If not, then may I make a wildly random and olde worlde suggestion? Take up the viol. Baking's good too.
     
  14. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I play piano...I have since I was 5.

    I have a baby grand piano at home...but I'm out of the house now. But I am home for a good part of Saturday / Sunday recently....so I normally play piano then. But it's not available to me daily/nightly like it has been.

    I definitely play piano to relax. I am going to start playing Friday nights at my Celebrate Recovery meeting..I am looking forward to that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
  15. I don’t get the buy books part?

    ——————0———————
    All the nice ideas reminded me of a combination in college after studying all day.

    I’d stop and lay down on a wooded pew
    in a large 100 year old chapel,
    on campus, where a student was playing
    the organ grandly.

    Meditation, prayer, music, architecture.

    :)
     
  16. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

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    you should go to guitar center and look at getting a keyboard with a good set of headphones. i bet you could get the whole set up for $200 to $500. you can set it up in the corner of your room and play it whenever. I have my guitar hanging on the wall at home and will grab it all the time just to strum out a couple notes. sometimes I'll get lost in my music for a good hour and kenzi will have to bring me back to reality.
     
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  17. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    @kropo82

    Is this the thread you were talking about crying time?
     
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