18 months NoFap: the Truth

Deleted Account · Feb 2, 2019

Captain Rex said: ↑

It's been 18 months of NoFap so far. The sad thing is however, is that I have actually slipped up two or three times throughout my journey and that was within the past few weeks. I thought I was unstoppable but after my first relapse, I realized that wasn't the case. Thankfully though, I wasn't watching porn, otherwise I would likely end up back in the addiction. It takes me about three or four days to recover my lost sexual fluid.

Anyways, now I would like to tell you the story of my addiction and how I have awakened and started my journey within. I will also share you some tips that have helped me throughout my journey as well.

Keep in mind that quitting PMO won't automatically turn you into a Superman. You would only become a normal human being again. In order to make the most out of the benefits of NoFap, you will have to make other changes to your lifestyle as I will explain later on.

So without further ado, let's get started!

-- BACKSTORY --

So I first started to masturbate at the age of 12, which is very typical for pre-teens. I remember when I first started dry humping the bed and the orgasm would feel amazing. I never knew I could abuse my body like that which would only become the start of my downward spiral shortly after.

For the next three years, I would be fapping off once or twice a day, either in the morning or evening. I don't know why in the hell I would be doing that but the pleasure was just too good, at the cost of losing portions of your life-force that is.

During the first year of my addiction, I was basically just not myself anymore. I was not the same person. I was basically an asshole. I remember myself being mean-spirited, annoying, rude, all these negative qualities that just don't fit me at all.

Nothing was really interesting to me. I remember dissecting a cow's eyeball and even though it was gross, it still didn't really seem that interesting. I remember having an animal biologist bring in some Madagascar hissing cockroaches and some big-ass snails to class one day, I did handle some but it didn't really excite me all that much. That was pretty much why I was pretty negative. I was just so desensitized due to the excessive pleasure I've been getting from excessive fapping which basically fried my dopamine receptors.

I at least still had my friends from the year before my addiction. However, they had no idea why I was getting worse and worse as a person all of a sudden. My friendships also broke apart after my awakening because I basically lost interest in them sadly which really sucked.

The next year, I was very different this time. Instead of being some rude asshole, I was a people-pleaser, a girl-pleaser to be exact. I remember trying so hard to get this one girl (let's call her Sally) to be my girlfriend, but that of course, would never happen. It's clear why she would avoid me like the plague. I just had a terrible vibe with me; I was just so desperate for love which would never come. I was basically under the sex spell, my view of girls was twisted even before I started watching porn later on.

Also, turns out, I found out recently that Sally is actually a lesbian (or maybe a bisexual, I don't know). I found that out from her girlfriend. It's very weird, but I sadly moved away from them before I got to see them as a couple. Well, at least I have their phone number.

Anyways, during the third year was when I really wanted to spice things up so I started to... well, watch some nasty, dirty filth which still leaves a terrible aftertaste to this day. When I first started, it was like a whole new world of pleasure and excitement. My heart was beating like hell and it was like sunshine and rainbows, vegan oatmeal cookies and almond milk. It was pretty much like heaven for me, seeing all these dirty-ass pictures of naked women for the first time.

Then, I started to get into the videos and things started to really escalate from there. Thankfully though, I never got myself into the really extreme shit which I'm very thankful for. I mostly got into lesbian, straight, threesome, strip tease, female masturbation, etc. I did still see some nasty sexual acts though (like eating *ss, yuck).

I also did watch some hentai as well. I didn't get into the videos. I pretty much only looked at the images. I did see some rule 34 of Nintendo characters (e.g. Rosalina) but that was just briefly though. I also saw something really scarring however but I don't know if I want to tell you or not...

Anyways, during the third year was when I was pretty much at the peak of my addiction. I would stay up until around 11 pm or 12 am watching porn and fapping off... on freaking school nights. Even worse, I would even skip school just because I'm "too tired" and spend part of the day doing PMO because that's all what I wanted to do back then.

Unlike who I was during my second year, I basically lost all interest in real girls. I was basically aesexual. I didn't want real girls. Instead, I wanted to masturbate to extremely sexy porn stars with tons of makeup on, showing off their entire bodies, fully nude, having sex with a hot man and everything.

And when I was in the real world, I was pretty much a zombie, and I looked like one too. I looked like I was infected with a disease because I had acne all over me. I had so much gross acne on my forehead, it wasn't funny. I had so little energy, that during martial arts, I was basically very slow and disorientated all the time. So much so that even a six year old can kick my ass!

My dad would always wonder why I wasn't ever trying; he was always wondering why I was always in my head, not paying attention to anything that's going on around me. Looks like he just wasn't aware that I was actually a PMO addict the whole time (until later on however but I'll tell you later).

I pretty much felt like a monster back then. I wasn't like a monster in a violent killer sort of way, I just had an extremely fucked up vibe back then. I was also with extremely fucked up people who would treat me like shit and even throw live worms at me (literally). I, of course, never had a relationship at the time because why would any girl want to be friends, let alone, be partners, with a monster like I was back then?!

I was also very paranoid back then. I would end up feeling like someone is going to look into my phone and invade my privaxy, finding out that I was watching really dirty shit online. I was even more paranoid if someone was making the bed and they would see the big, disgusting mess I made after my session. Yuck!

But thankfully, there were some seeds of change being planted. By far the biggest one was when I got caught by my dad watching porn. I felt totally busted. He saw that I was watching a blowjob compilation and proceeded to take my phone away every night. The only time I ever got to watch that crap was when they would sometimes forget, so I would make the most out of my session any time that happens.

And it wasn't until one and a half years ago that I realized that I was wasting my life away, but for what?! Nothing. I was wasting my precious years for nothing. I wasn't doing anything at all that would make my future self proud. The future just seemed incredibly bleak... until I made a lifechanging discovery!

This was the day when I found out that PMO was doing me no good. All it was doing was fucking my life up and making myself a slave to shallow, meaningless pleasure.

I started watching life changing videos which made me want to start cutting PMO out of my life (such as Gary Wilson's TED Talk video for example). I was amazed and awed for the first time in forever which felt really great.

And this was when I discovered the wonderful community of NoFap. I started to spend the whole day watching NoFap videos from wonderful YouTuber's like Ted Carr, Sun Fruit Dan, Ajax Unchained, Daniel and Ali Nadem, and all these other countless YouTubers who made those wonderful videos. It was so revolutionary for me but I didn't realize how difficult the journey would be...

The flatline was the insanely difficult part of the journey. It started at around one month into NoFap and I knew it started once I started to get hit with depression and all these mental health issues. It was all because my mind was just not used to the fact that I quit PMO, and I was no longer fapping off to dozens of naked women behind the screen.

It simply wanted more and more. It didn't want to stop. It wanted to get that fix again but I would just not let it no matter what. I knew it would not be worth it so I moved forward through the muddy valley in determination. Even though it was one of the darkest times of my life, I pressed on. I kept going and I never gave up.

But surprisingly enough, it ended around nine months into NoFap. My sex drive was no longer non-existant anymore. I was getting erections again and it felt good. I knew it ended once I started getting intense urges for the next few days.

However, I still had many problems. My insomnia was persisting. I was still very anxious at night and not getting much sleep. My diet was very poor. I was eating the standard American diet which was fucking me up my entire life without me even noticing. I knew I needed to make some changes to my lifestyle...

-- TIPS & TRICKS --

Here are some lifestyle changes that I wish I had made earlier (at least for some of them):

Eating healthy: this one is super important. No, you don't have to go vegan just to eat healthy (unless you really want to, then go ahead). All you really need to do is eat a healthy, well-balanced diet. A good diet to try is flexitarianism. I suggest you look that up. It may seem very hard but it's actually pretty easy compared to going vegan, and you can still reap similar benefits from eating lots of veggies.

Getting enough sleep: I used to struggle with insomnia for a long time. But ever since I learned a technique called paradoxical intention, I was able to sleep normally again (I still do have some sleepless nights every now and then). Basically, I pretend that I don't have any desire to fall asleep only to end up falling asleep very easily.

Drinking enough water: it's very important for us to drink plenty of water. Every life form on this planet needs water to live, and so do us. The problem is that some of us aren't drinking enough water. So it's important to make sure you drink enough water throughout the day. Eating fruits and vegetables like blueberries, raspberries, and cucumbers for example helps you get the water you need since they're made of mostly water.

Meditation: this one is not so surprising. Not only does meditation help prevent urges, it also helps you to feel calmer as well. Meditating before bed with relaxing music can help you feel calmer before bed. It may seem boring as hell but it actually becomes enjoyable once you start doing it more and more.

And finally, getting more exercise: this one is again, not very surprising but it's necessary. Not only does making gains at the gym help you become more attractive to girls, it also helps you improve your mood because intense workouts give you an adrenaline rush, which feels even better than an orgasm because there is actual work involved. It just feels so satisfying overall.

-- Conclusion --

I have made so many changed over this past year and a half. My growth may seem a lot slower than a lot of other faptronauts I see but that doesn't matter much to me. I grow at my own pace. There's no rush at all when it comes to self-improvement and becoming your gretest version.

Even if you're very old, it's still not too late. You can still improve yourself and change your life for the better. It's way better than dying as a slave to this bogus system.

And if you are young like I am and you are reading this, then be very grateful that you have just started your journey from within. You are very lucky to have even awakened in the first place and many other fapstronauts would be jealous. No offense though.

I can't believe how much I have changed this past year and a half. I have went from a beta clown to an alpha male. I may not be perfect like any other human being. I may not be my dream self yet. But I am working on it. I am working on manifesting greatness, turning my fantasies into a reality. I can't wait to see how I will turn out within the next few months.

Peace out, fapstronauts. I hope that to those who are struggling, know that you will make it. It may seem impossible but trust me, it will happen someday. Just don't give up. Giving up will only ensure that you will never get the reward. Just remember that.
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Very much in common with my situation and my stroke, including sleep problems, extreme escalation, the same situation. I have a problem with ed, I can not solve it. I'm more than a year old in flatline.

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18 months NoFap: the Truth

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