Sharing with the wife.

Sharing and disclosing are two different things. Disclosure should be very deliberate, complete, and controlled. @GhostWriter has some great threads on it and some of the best advice of anyone around here.
I believe you should freely share with your wife. She is your partner, your best friend, your confidant. She can’t be those things if you are withholding, or hiding secrets, or not communicating openly with her. At the same time she may not agree or like your kinks as you put them. She has every right to her opinion, and you shouldn’t try to persuade her to change it. Out of love, you’ll respect her opinion, and validate it for her through empathy. With time you may find your benign kinks are still a manifestation of your addiction that you are still instinctively indulging as a psub. It’s hard to say from my perspective, and could just be a personal preference, but you should be open to the possibility that it’s not. You’ll know better than I if you are truly honest with yourself.