Some help with my flatline symptoms please

Fifteen & half months, mostly shit with up and downs. It’s a long fucking ride for a few of us...

 

My erections are getting better. I did 120 days the end of last year. (Edged a little which had a negative effect and received oral New Years). So reset me day counter.

This year is real hard mode. No edging. No glancing at naughty pics even on innocent things like the newspaper.

 

I'd look into natural testosterone / hormone boosters: ginseng, fenugreek, horny goat weed, maca root, etc.

 

They started improving after 20 days slowly. Morning erections are coming back. Etc

I feel im still a way off. I edged a few times during the 120 days so technically should’ve reset.

I hate this pied but stay the course it will improve

 

Over 90 days here, I’ve started getting nocturnal and morning wood, have had a couple of spontaneous erections, but I’d say only 50%.
Anxiety and depression are severe, feeling stuff I’ve run away from my whole life
I think I’m in for a long ride, expecting a 2 year reboot
Not like I have any choice though
Trying to focus on the positive......
My body’s resting, it gives me time to learn how to live and relate to people differently before my libido comes back

 

Yup 90 in hard mode
My mind plays some pretty heavy tricks, some days I’m convinced I’m dying, I know that’s ounds strange, but the over riding thinking/emotion is I’m not safe, it’s all trauma that I didn’t feel all my life due to addiction, now it’s all coming out, the only option I have is to just ride it out, this morning I literally spent 5 hours in extreme fear and anxiety crying, now it’s passed and I feel ok
Good for you reaching 90 days man, I wish you all the best

 

When would you guys consider trying sex?

Would trying sex and not getting hard be a waste of time or would it have some benefits?

 

You healing man, I need to experience this as well. Well done.

 

Ive tried a couple of times with my wife, but it ended up making me feel awful. Now I just cuddle and pleasure her ocassionally (yes sex I know, but I kinda think you mean mutual sex?)
I know it’s getting better, because before I had no nocturnal wood or spontaneous, now I do, also the feelings are coming heavy strong, I’ve honestly never experienced pain like it, it’s really awful, but after every wave of crap the world looks different, I can’t explain it, but I know I’m in new territory, so that must be good thing

 

Thanks man, I need all the encouragement/support I can get at the moment, this trauma is bloody hallucinogenic in a real dark way, my minds tripping out big time

 

I remember one day, at about day 180, sitting on a chair with my front on a table, looking in the ground and thinking about using a kitchen knife to end it all...

 

Well at least I’ve got something to look forward to, haha
No, in all seriousness, I totally get what you mean, it’s dark af

 

I am improving too mate. You’re right. Keep going, stay the course. Think how quickly a year seems to fly by. Stick to good habits for 12 months and this time next year we’ll be different men

 

Good for you brother, wish you all the power to beat this evil crap