Do PA deserve to be cheated on?

Idk why I thought I started this thread....

Must have been a sign to resurrect it?

 

Are responding to me?
I never had one, never crossed the line. As I said I had fleeting thoughts out of peek anger but never entertained, looked or acted. That’s not who I am. I was the one who “cheated” on and with as angry and hurt as was even after, I could never do that to him or anyone. That’s a hurt I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

 

I'm pretty sure I just confused everyone, Jen.. I'm sorry; it did make me giggle, though

 

I’m totally confused.

 

While I agree with you about not wanting to be with the partner who does such a thing, I like to point that, you can still forgive some one, and choose to not be part of his/her life.

So the process of forgiving someone and choosing to be with them or not are two different things.

Forgiveness is about myself letting go of hate and inner anger, so i can make a conscious choice. For example I can see with the eyes of compassion that my partner is not who I thought she is, I thought she is an angel but she is addicted to sex with other men. this does make her evil just makes her someone I don't want to be with. She has the freewill to have sex with who ever she likes, and I have the free will to leave her.

But if i let my ego get involved, I can hate her, and attack her and this only creates more suffering for myself.

(BTW this actually happened to me i'm not just talking theoretically. I had a partner who was with another man the whole time we were together)

Here is the interesting part...

If i stay angry at her, and hate her and try to shut her out of my mind, the pain doest go away, it will only come back in form of a new cheating partner. The reason is life gives us lessons to help us evolve.

If we arent getting the lesson of forgiveness, the lesson gets harder and harder until we learn what forgiveness actually is!

It is not to let others get away with shit and hurt us again, it is rather see their limitations and have compassion for their ignorance and choose to let them go and by doing so attract better people to our life who do match our loving attitude.

Hope this makes sense

 

Where is your own self respect? If you are in a relationship with someone who has a PA and it affects the relationship so drastically that you feel the need of cheating, especially for revenge, it might be the time to let go.
That sounds so disturbingly unhealthy, i don't even know where to start.
Cheating means your partner isnt attractive to you anymore and/or either doesnt want you to be happy or ignores you happiness altogether.
Cheating is never justified. Either you try to work it out and put effort into a relationship, or you break up if that doesn't work.

A relationship is supposed to benefit your life. Not the reason of our worries.