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I really hope i just sleep , Die and end my suffer ( Femdom addiction )

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Zed94, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    First of all this is an old post from me here :
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...iction-almost-24-yo-virgin-with-no-gf.165641/

    Today i had the worst day ever in my life !
    I was always struggling with Femdom Addition and relapsing from time to time
    I decided to do something about it in this new year so today i closed 8 days with NoFap
    ( for peoples who don't know me , i was living in country where sex is forbidden and moved to Germany a year ago ... )

    But this is not the problem !!!
    Since i am struggling with having a gf and the fact i am virgin i decided to visit a prostitute to lose my virginity and try sex for the first time .

    So i really did it ! it was 15 min for 50 £ , she was a round cute white girl just a i like
    i get in and i take my clothes off ...
    AND guess what ?
    we start trying to have sex but i couldn't get a strong erection , it was barely half erection , she tried to suck my dick and it made it worst ...
    even after she lay on my body with her full body i couldn't get erection !!!
    i was so disappointed , i told her that i am virgin and i am submissive but she sadly not a dominant at all !!! i asked her to try to be aggressive and act like a dominant to get me harder but she cant' , i convinced her to slap me but she was doing it while she was scared , i was getting a bit harder , but after like 8 slaps i asked her to stop since it was hurting me without feeling any joy ( i was really chocked of the fact that slapping isn't as fun as i thought while was watching porn , it was just a pain in face nothing more )
    she told me i should go to a dominant and she literally told me to look for a gf , since it was weird to visit such place in a young age ...
    I was just enjoying my body on hers but i was unable to get a full erection and do penetration.
    Just was asking wtf my dick if not getting hard !!! i told her it's from porn addiction and being submissive ... She was feeling sorry for me !!! until the time is over , nothing happens ...

    I am feeling so disappointed and depressed right know !
    why that happened to me ???
    I have never though that i am unable to do normal sex !!!
    I am sure that if she was a dominant , i get a hard erection only from the noise of her heels coming to me ...
    I am lucky that it wasn't with a girl from a social circle or something , it was going to be a scandal for me ...

    HELP
     
    sneket and Ὀρφεύς like this.
  2. jk243

    jk243 Fapstronaut

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    Hold on man. Life is not over,, you can beat this.
     
    Nugget9, Hoots, zaba99 and 1 other person like this.
  3. I can remember that my little guy didn’t work at all the first time I tried to have sex. It could be performance anxiety or it could be the years of porn. When I think back...I remember having to try at least 3 times before I was finally able to get a erection good enough for penetration. It happens, man. It’s better to hold out and wait for someone you love.
     
  4. Mo1989

    Mo1989 Fapstronaut

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    I wish to believe you man, i never had normal sex, i was born and raised in a religious society, came to a practically aethiest country when i was 23. Became a practical aethiest around 27, sadly i have been PMOing since i was 15 so i am just useless, unmotivated, energyless soul. I don't know what will happen to me
     
  5. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Sadly i think this is not the reason !
    I think the reason is being 10 years of porn addiction + only dominant women's get me hard + this women was submissive and i didn't have any feeling with her

    Let's wait for more comments ...
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  6. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    I got the same type of addiction as you do, though I'm 18 and never dated anyone yet. just find someone you really like, and once you get comfortable around her bring up that topic (try not to say it out of the blue I'd say, wait for a relatable topic to come up)
     
  7. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    I was always having dating problems coz of my submissive/nice_guy behavior and especially that i am moved to year last year to germany i still having still dating problems .
    But after today experience i start feeling so scared that this will happen with the first girl that i will date , imagine if i date a girl in my univ and i can't get it up ? holly shit !!! i will get destroyed ...
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  8. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    I feel you, I got a really "nice guy" behavior as well. Working on changing that as it's rare to find a girl who likes submissive guys. There's also a part of me who likes to do whatever it pleases, so I'll let it rise to the surface a bit... sadly I'm shy as hell and words get stuck in my throat for like 5 seconds
    As the time passes and your streak goes further you will start getting aroused by anything, fear not. When did you start watching P?
     
    Nugget9 likes this.
  9. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    You will not beliebe what i will say !
    I got the idea of sex activities by the wrong way at a young age , when i was like 12 yo i start masturbating without porn to Femdom imagination and by the age of 14 i got a laptop with internet and i am doing it until this day i am 24 ...
    The only case normale sex attract me if the girl is being aggressive and the guy is almost getting raped .
    I am working on my shyness and nice guy behavior too ! i am not even that shy anymore , i can stop girls in streets and take their number , i can go to night club and open girls ... but my voice it still going up , still having nice guy voice , i am unconsciously too nice .
    The problem even when i see girls , i like beautiful ones , but girls who look strong personality and loud voice make feel aroused .
     
    Ὀρφεύς and Nugget9 like this.
  10. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    U must be gratefull for this situation :
    First : u know and feel the destructive effect of pmo, grave it into your memory and make it as self reminder whenever you want to relapse

    Secondly : u still have ur virginity,, although im a virgin too and curios abbout hiring prostitue just like u,,,but after deep thingking losing virginity to prostitutr is destructive af,, i mean its cost your money and u can infected by disease

    Its take time to recover but IT CAN, just continue doin nofap, it can healed your P
     
  11. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    Yes it was the worst thing i have ever experienced in my entire life !
    I was actually testing my self if i am able to do normale vanilla sex and now i have the chocking answer , It made feel like i am not a men anymore :(

    Umm you can do it so you know how bad your situation is ! but be careful there is peoples who are addicted to visit a prostitute !!!

    +I will visit a Psy. soon ;)
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  12. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

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    actually i ask many user in here abbout prostitution too, and they said that prostitution is a whole diferent dragon to fight and it way way more destructive since it so costly, can infect disease and the regret feelin are somehow more high



    And u know fightingg porn is so suuucks

    I dont wana pick another fight with prostitue addiction


    Ask someone in here who have prostitue addiction, and you will have a good answer since this is a good supportive forum

    I dont know what psy mean but good luck
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  13. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    he probably meant a psychologist
     
    Ὀρφεύς and zaba99 like this.
  14. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    i found out about it at 12 as well :\
    that's something i can't do yet haha
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  15. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    I should visit a psychologist a soon as possible !
    My primitive part of my brain telling me to accept my fate and look for a dominant women .
    The logic part telling not to even think about that again .
    + I still feeling depressed and scared , i am really scared that if i try to sleep with a girl in future it will happen again :(
     
    Ὀρφεύς and Nabaski like this.
  16. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    Stop thinking about what you don't want to happen, and think about what you want to happen
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  17. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    UPDATE:
    I was having a lot of Femdom thoughts last days about giving up to my destiny
    Last 2 days and especially today i had some strong erections , but i was not touching my dick at all !
    Today while i was walking home with an erection in my pants , i discovered while peeing that there is some white liquid getting out of my penis :(
    I hope this is normale and just urge getting out ...
     
    Ὀρφεύς likes this.
  18. sephiroth-zero

    sephiroth-zero Fapstronaut

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    You're in a similar but better situation than me. Wait until if you're 32 and still a virgin, then desperate and go to prostitute but can't get it up even with the V-pill. Nowadays I don't get horny from anything, most porn will bore me, and real girls doesn't seem attractive, even if they are hot, they are still less hot than girls in porn.

    Although I was still a horny bastard back at 24....almost always horny and can't keep erection down. But at your age you should heal fairly fast unless you escalated to extreme stuff.
     
    RobbyGo36 and zaba99 like this.
  19. Ohcaptainmycaptain

    Ohcaptainmycaptain Fapstronaut

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    You'll beat this brotha, up with ya. Better days lie ahead - there is work to do. I belueve in ya.
     
  20. Zed94

    Zed94 Fapstronaut

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    If you read the full thread my problem is worst already and not similar to you , because i have Femdom problem and i love Femdom more then normal sex
    Sadly i already start escalating to extreme and watching stuff i never thought i will like 3 years ago ( Hard whipping / Chastity / Face-spitting , i was immediately closing the video when i find hard core things like this and feel so disgusted , but now i kind of start liking them )
    =====> this why i felt that i am falling to hell and need to STOP !
     

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