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I CAN'T SEE THAT ANYTHING HAS CHANGED!!!!!!!!! Still the same loser..

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by RedMinion, Jun 30, 2018.

  1. RedMinion

    RedMinion New Fapstronaut

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    I have been fapping for 9 years. Initially, I used to do it everyday, but I became an adult then I used to fap 2-3 times a month. It's has been 2.5 months, i have not fapped. I can't see anything has changed in this time, I have same low energy, lazy as i was. I can't talk to females. I am not a single bit attractive, as they said it creates attraction. I am university student and can't see anything mentally good enough happened with me. I am still that same loser, as I was.

    My face never looks fresh.

    I have morning erections.

    In these 2.5 months, I have had wet dream only once or twice.



    No urges, no erections. I try to get erection, but i gets semi hard for like 10 seconds.

    My Pe**is size is already small.

    Although, My pimple/rashes/acne, whatever it was, it has decreased. I can't grow beard.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    U r experiencing flatline might be but hang on man u r surely taking step to destroying this evil addiction .2.5 months itself great achiement according to most of one lac plus members.
     
    Nadamotain likes this.
  3. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
  4. savethedate

    savethedate Fapstronaut

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    What if . . . you are who you are? Perhaps there's more to behavior. That is, what if you fap or not masturbate, your genetics drives certain preferences, attitudes, etc. We are all not the same - that is for certain.

    I heard the French are better well-adjusted than Americans. The rationale is that Americans want to become better people. The French want to become a better version of themselves. I have no data to back up the rationale, but the perspective is interesting.

    Instead of becoming like some other guy, you could focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Just a "what if."
     
    SpiritVessel likes this.
  5. scott3085

    scott3085 Fapstronaut

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    im on day 12 of no pmo and yes its hard to quit just like any other bad habit
     

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