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Should I just give up?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by WhyNotStop, Dec 25, 2018.

  1. So I've been struggling with porn since 2016 and haven't made much progress. Realizing now that I'm stuck in a binge I question myself. When ever I'm "Horny" I see porn and other things such as speaking sexually to older women as amazing and very pleasuring but shortly after orgasm I lose all those feelings and am disgusted by both porn and older women. Why does this happen, How can I always have that feeling of porn and older women being disgusting without having to relapse. I'm sick of this. I'm going into my third year of unsuccessfully attempting to quit porn. I've been an addict since age 13 and am now 19. I'm a descent looking guy, have many girls my age who show interest in me.

    What's the secret formula to quitting porn, I feel like I've tried everything. I feel like there's a parasite within me that takes control and prevents me from being pmo free. As if I had multiple personalities. I don't know what to do. I'm beginning to see physical damage from pmo. I'm devastated and ready to give up on nofap. I need help!
     
    Butterfly1988 likes this.
  2. bloomz

    bloomz Fapstronaut

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    I just don’t look at it. I’m on day 13. I watch YouTube videos on nofap, random videos, Netflix.., just stopping porn wasn’t so hard for me but not touching my wang is harder.
     
  3. Fellowman

    Fellowman Fapstronaut

    It's an addiction. Your brain has been chemically wired to feed off of the the pleasure hormones released during orgasm. That craving and need overrides your shame, and once you get what you need, all you have left is shame. This is what happened to me.
    There's no "secret formula". Just hard work, mental fortitude, and support from friends/community. Doing this journey by yourself is extremely hard. NoFap is a great community so it's a great place to get started, but in the end it comes down to you wanting to quit PMO.
    Definitely don't give in! You want to look back at your life later and know that you kept fighting this problem. It's better to fight, lose, get back up, fight, lose, get back up, etc... than to just give in and live in such a shameful state for the rest of your life. Fight it! Rewiring the brain isn't easy, but you should try over and over again to get it done. We're all rooting for you!
     
  4. Cedric134

    Cedric134 Fapstronaut

    I have the same problem, I just started today but I’ve tried before to control myself. It’s hard for me to quit masturbating
     
  5. If you can't stay forever clean... Then I suggest you try to stay as clean as many times during a year as possible.

    What is better? Staying clean 70% of the days in one year, or giving it up and wasting 100% of the days and then potentially ending up with some very serious complications?

    You decide. I will say, try and try again. Even if you only manage to stay clean one or two days per week, it still is better than going all out.
     
  6. Thanks guys really inspirational stuff. I can't keep living a life full of shame... I won't give up
     
  7. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    I had this issue bro. Relapsing so many times just strengthened the addiction. I decided to take big steps. I realised that motivation alone isn't enough to beat porn addiction. If I sit at home all day and use the PC/PS4/Phone I can maybe hold off urges for 2 weeks absolute maximum. Unless you have a eureka moment, you need to get rid of your triggers.
    For me, this meant leaving all my technology in a house elsewhere and only using a communal TV/PC. yes there will be times where your brain dwells on porn or you may briefly search for something before saying no and shutting the window. But as long as you never watch porn again youre good.

    Abstinence will eventually get to the state where you will be horny again (like when you were a teenager) and at that point you should go out and get real women. Without porn, masturbation alone will get boring and you will seek out real interaction. The addiction is to porn, not to masterbating. Get rid of triggers and never watch porn again, and let nature do the rest.

    Good luck bro!
     
    WhyNotStop, Butterfly1988 and Wario32 like this.
  8. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut
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    You have to fill the void that PMO left with new healthy activities. I recommend meditation and cold showers. I was in a tough spot too but I'm started posting more and trying an AP.
    Dont give up, a couple days ago I was ready to and I just told myself NO. Staying in by bed fapping all day is a terrible life. Especially since I was doing very well for myself a few months ago but replaced.
    Just keep going and keep pushing 1 day at a time
     
  9. The way I am

    The way I am Fapstronaut

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    Not only you are experiencing this, but we all get through this inevitable process. Because this is an addiction, you can't blame yourself for this. Everyone can get in this trap, the significant point is to keep trying all the ways you can. But not by harming yourself, and not by forcing your brain. Just know that there is someone like you battling this out there. When I loik back, I see the years that spent with PMO, my strugglings, tears, my fists on the wall even my suicide thoughts...I am not too far from that point... The thoughts crashing around my head but I just keep fighting against PMO and now I am 7 days clear. There are too much of it. I think it is just about the mental strength. Maybe you need some motivation but that does not enough but also an appropiate schedule for your future and go all in. Never forget that a relapse means a lecture to take from this process and moving up with a stronger mental clarity even if it is not so... good night..
     
  10. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

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    This past fall I was stuck in some pretty big binges and had difficulty getting past a few days. But every time I failed I cut out more triggers and altered my behavior. I also reminded myself of what kind of life I want for the future and how awful this made me feel.

    Now I'm back to hitting a big streak and feeling a lot better.
     
  11. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel. I was in the military a few months ago and had amazing habits. Ever since I left, I picked up fapping and screwed up my life
     
    Wario32 and WhyNotStop like this.
  12. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    while it may look unconventional but i say don't be afraid of giving up for a while.
    i dont mean giving up forever but just trying to do some thing in old way over and over again that does not works only makes you frustrated , i also suggest you to read 70 tips topic specially tips #1 and 2
     
    WhyNotStop likes this.
  13. Pranav1486

    Pranav1486 Fapstronaut

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    think about why you started no_fap on first place when you about to relapse or quit.

    so why you started no_pmo?
     
    WhyNotStop and Amphibian like this.
  14. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

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    Yes.
     
    WhyNotStop likes this.
  15. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I start with pmo at your same age, even before.

    You're 19, so actually you're super young, still a kid basically. If you keep going like this until my age you are going to destroy your life, you will never find joy, a woman, you will never be yourself, and at my age you will have already threw away a lot of time.

    Don't waste your life, stop with porn and masturbation now, make it your first priority in life.
     
    WhyNotStop likes this.
  16. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    i'm 25 and everyday i wish i started and went more seriously (described it in tips #1 and #2) when i was younger 17, 19, or early twenties. a big part of it is probably because of emotional withdrawals but maybe another slim part is simply regret.
     
  17. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    The majority of people (like me) is going to stop only when the pain and the destruction is too much, then you will have the motivation to stop, but the damages will be too big already.
     
  18. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    i wasn't a hard user but i'm sure if i wasn't using tips #1 & #2 i would've been old me trying to maintain 7 day streaks and failing and sometimes reaching to 40 days or 90 days but failing again another reason which contributed i think was giving up nofap (but not going for full pmo binges) for a while and focusing on other area's of life and finding space to see things from outside and differently.
    so i don't think what motivated me to take action was hitting rock bottom but again i wish i started earlier considering lost opportunities.

    Now @Mattew you are 33 and i love to hear from people who are older than me but not too much that causes a gender Gap.

    what would you do differently if you were 25 again? what pieces of advice do you have for a 25 yo ?
     
  19. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I would stop porn and masturbation immediately.
     
    whoami33 likes this.
  20. NoThanks

    NoThanks Fapstronaut

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    Once you realize the changes coming slowly while the process, you will be able to maintain your will to NOT masturbate. Trust me bros. Even though my longest streak is only 21 days... But this time will be different ;)
     

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