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Seriously, need some advice

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by GA93JDeereboy, Dec 28, 2018.

  1. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Well, I have been messing up guys, like it's all been going downhill. I keep having those urges to hook up with an escort. The other day I really thought i was going to go to jail in a police sting. I set up to meet her at a bar in public. I get their early, drinking. But something doesnt feel right. She comes in sits across from me and I recognize her from her pics. She texts me she is their etc but I feel like I'm going to get arrested if I approached her. So I didn't solicit her nor her me. I just sit there pretending to watch the football game and notice other people sitting their sort of just texting and minding their ow. Business. I see other people kind of waiting around just like they are cops. This drags on for maybe 30 mins bc I was determined to sit in that seat as long as I had to to not incriminate myself whatsoever. Well i text her I'm not paying for anything illegal etc, and ask her to promise she isnt a cop. She does, i finally go over to her and then i finally know she isnt a cop. She is a person like me. I've never did the whole meet in public thing with an escort before. Either way she said she had already made plans but told me I would never know unless I talked to someone. I still got her number, kinda on and off about wanting to meet her. She said she would call me back today. I told her alot of stuff in my texts that I was sorry and stuff. But this is just the beginning people.

    So few days later o meet this chick I already know. We aren't like that. We know eachother a little so it isnt a relationship or anything like that. She like to go out and try to sell stuff and get money. If anyone here has been following me you may know I have issues giving women money. Well we go to a bar, I tell her about what happened about the escort. She seems ok about it. Well I drink like 4 margaritas in an hour and hand her some money and tell her I love her and take her hand and kiss her hand. I was so drunk people. She leaves, and sends me a text it was just to weird for her.
    So I get super depressed. I want to commit suicide and tell a group of people including her in a group test message. My phone starts blowing up with people who care about me. I get uber home and well basically I cant find the gun so out of frustration i run to the woods. They come and find me. Thanks to them it helped me so much. Well, I didn't have my phone for 2 day bc my sister confiscated it from me. I get it back and the chick I know at the bar had sent a text saying she would have sex with me to help me with my stress and tension.
    Lately I kinda been wanting to hook up with her and pay her. She would probably be down. I know how she is and heard rumors that she is a prostitute so. Either way I'm thinking about it. She may text me later today and idk what would happen.

    I do have alot of stress. She said she would do it. Is sex the answer to getting over all this?
     
  2. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    I agree with @The Black Dog. Sex is not the answer. PMO is not the answer. Get help for your mental health. Do it now!
     
  3. Romans 6 23

    Romans 6 23 Fapstronaut

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    What the last two said ^
    And I would chime in that you might consider avoid alcohol during your reboot. 2 reasons. 1, it loosens your inhibitions and resolve. Making you more likely to give in and relapse to pmo and not care. 2, alcohol is a depressant. Get some clinical help. there is no shame in seeing a counsellor. many of us on here have one or have had one in the past.
     
    Tom_Corsi likes this.
  4. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I have never seen a counselor before. I just like to think I can take care of myself. With nofap and friends and family and God I want to be able to handle it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2018
  5. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    But how about if you got home and did find the gun? Or went to the woods and your friends got there to find you hanging from a tree. You need professional help. I needed it, too, and I was helped such a lot. There's nothing to fear my friend. :)
     
    Tom_Corsi likes this.
  6. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I am different when it comes to healthcare. I don't have any health insurance as of now. Sure I am not that old but that doesn't mean I don't need it. There has been a bit of distance away from God and I need God back. I know some people don't believe here but that is their choice. For me it helps me. I know when I first came here to nofap I did great. I did 108 days, I was rocking and not stopping, working, keeping busy, putting the P and M way behind me and escorts. I'm sure some of my old posts would show that. Then here I am now daised and confused about if it is ok or if it is not ok. One thing with me seeing a therapist is this, I don't know what that therapist will say or think about me. If they will keep negative thoughts about what I tell them to themselves or be harsh and judgmental outwardly or I may see in in their body language. People are people.I would hope the therapist would be skilled and be able to see where my mind is and be able to correct it. I don't really want to have some kind of medical diagnosis that I am some kind of crazy guy. I really don't want to have some report like that of myself. I'm not trying to push it off Black Dog. I know with my work I will have to make time to put into it.
     
  7. Fenston999

    Fenston999 Fapstronaut

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    Any good therapist is there to help you. You shouldn't be worried about how they view you, it's their job to listen and help. I'd doubt you're the worst person ever in there office anyways. And that's also what makes this addiction so bad. We want to hide our sexual exploits from everyone and " keep it under wraps" when discussing it would be the most beneficial thing for anyone struggling.
     
  8. Romans 6 23

    Romans 6 23 Fapstronaut

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    many therapists work on sliding scales too. based on your income.

    @GA93JDeereboy Are you a member of the christian fapstronauts group? if not you should come check it out. good group of guys
     
    The Black Dog likes this.
  9. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I am not. I'm not like a big like preacher type of Christian. I do believe. I'll look into it.
     
  10. Romans 6 23

    Romans 6 23 Fapstronaut

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    Neither are we. we all come from different backgrounds and like you we all have a porn addiction
     
  11. David stone

    David stone Fapstronaut

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    Please privately give me ur number. I can help you
     

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