67 days hard mode

I’m going on 67 days hard mode. I’m choosing to be single during this period of my life, which makes it easier to go all out and abstain from any sexual release aside from the occasional wet dream. Not easy, but it’s been worth it.

The details differ with each of us to some extent, but we’re all here for the same reason. Some go to the depths for years, some stop before it gets horribly bad for too long, but the bottom line is that it gets bad enough for all of us to come here and get support.

So many tools are part of the solution for me. Daily meditation/prayer is huge. Running and exercise, so helpful. I’ve told some trusted friends about my issues with porn. A couple friends of mine are monks who I consider teachers, and I’ve shared with them. That, along with posting on here and giving/receiving feedback, helps keep me accountable. The panic button saved my ass for basically the whole day after the last time I relapsed. The following day I kept hitting that button over and over and getting the inspiration and motivation I needed to get me through each urge, each image in my mind. Getting out of myself and helping others, doing service work, being there for family and friends, being there for myself and taking care of myself, all are part of my recovery. Patience and good humor are essential, too. It doesn’t help to beat the shit out of myself. I’m involved in alcohol and drug addiction recovery. I’ve been sober for over thirteen years, which helps immensely in dealing with this addiction.

One of the most helpful things is to remind myself that I just need to do it today. Really, it’s just today. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow or the rest of my life. Just worry about what I need to do, or not do, today.

Good luck to all of you. I appreciate all of the support that we give each other. This is a powerful and insidious addiction, and we definitely have our work cut out for us. But this place and our shared experience are also a beacon to others who are struggling, letting them know that there’s a safe place to share and see that recovery is possible, we just have to be willing to put in the work. Deep bow to you all, happy holidays and finish the year strong!

 

The last time I relapsed, the next day was hell. Irritable, angry, agitated...I hit the panic button at the top of this page so many times. I’d think of fapping again, and it would be strong, and I’d hit the panic button again, get that inspiration and motivation to keep going through the urges, not acting on the sexual images going through my mind. One day, one breath at a time, just don’t act on those urges and find something else to do. Meditate, run, read, help someone else, journal, come on this website, etc, find tools that work for YOU! Be willing to suffer temporarily, and know the shitty feelings WILL pass. They always do. Also, I try (and fail but it gets better) to redirect my thoughts quickly when sexual thoughts come up. Don’t follow the thoughts, quickly think of something else, and don’t give in to the fantasies. Good luck, my friend you can do this if you make the firm choice to!

 

Right on brother!