Christ this is tough.

So I've been on and off nofap for a while now. The most successful stint I did was around 30 days back in Dec 2013. Over the last year I relapsed, then somehow deluded myself that It wasn't important, I'm not doing this for religious reasons, just personal. I'm unemployed at the moment which kind of sucks, nofap was much easier with my full time job. I don't feel depressed or anything necessarily, I'm a pretty positive guy and I think I've been through enough crappy places to know when you're simply in a temporary place. My primary goal is to be able to meet up with woman again, I haven't dated or anything in years now which sounds kina crazy.

In May I'm moving to Australia, I'm hoping there to get away computers for a while and just experience nature as it is a little better, I don't wanna sound like a hippy or anything, but I think it's pretty obvious that todays generation of young men spend more time on facebook and the likes than being out in the real world, doing real things. At least it's that way for a lot of us.

So yeah for me only 4 days this month have I not been cracking one out, one of them being yesterday, I'm basically beginning from scratch, I edged a little today, but used the very useful http://emergency.nofap.com/ which actually doe's help a lot, you catch yourself on in the act and that sense of shame give you just a moment to make a decision. Today I made the decision to close down the browser and make this post. I make a lot of excuses to myself but I think If I'm here, and reading other peoples stories I'll use them as an inspiration and a model for myself. It's pretty bad that I'm actually worse then I have been before, but If I've been there before I can be there again, and If I be there again I go further.

 

From what I know it can definitely be worth it,it's all about sacrificing what is literally a few moments for a better you.I haven't PMO'd in close to 3 days so far, every day is a journey, I;m trying to train myself to catch myself on early, to know when I'm about to edge or something. Unfortunately I have some pretty hot female friends on facebook which never really helps, so I avoid looking to those places.

Yeah I had been using K9 on and off, so easy to just reset the password though, and sometimes it'll block things that really aren't porn that I actually need, but still a good piece of software.

In the last few days I generally feel like I have alot more time, not cracking one out in the morning (typical force of habit for dealing with morning wood) saves quite abit, and it's nice to just know that you're making progress, no matter how small. I'm still a little scared I'll wander off the path, but I try to keep focused on the other things I want to do, like improving my level of fitness.

 

Yeah, you're definitely right there, and from the sound of things what people have said before about making to 60 days or whatever, then it get's a whole lot better. Every day will be a challenge, but we'll just have to remind ourselves that...

 

Thanks Cae,

So today is day 5 for me, I think I'll make it through this one ok. I've been tempted by some triggers but have gotten this far by turning them off, no matter how subtle they might be. Do you think religion helps you at all? As in would praying or reading the bible per say help you through urges?

 

On day 6 now, still feeling good. Went to an homeless charity today to drop off some books I had. I personally want to live a more minamilistic lifestyle, one where I don't have to own lots of possessions that just tie me down, truth is there are people out there that could benefit from them more than I ever could. I didn't even get a chance to read some of them, but had to say enough is enough, it's been 2 years, If I'm not got going to read it now I never will, I'll just keep buying more and more and never get to spend the time to sit down and read them, that's exactly what porn is, it's a fruitless endeavor to find pleasure, you want more and more, to different and often perverse extremes, you won't find fulfillment from it. So yeah, I'm kind of on a high right now I guess, but I know it will get tough along the way, and that will be the real battle so to speak.

I really enjoyed listening to this video by SSP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipK-B7-3sB4

 

Ah cool, thanks for link dope-attack, and congratulations on your 60 day streak, keep it up!

 

So I've made it past my first week, which is good news considering a few days ago I kind of struggled to make it past even one day. Although the last two morning I've basically had to fight of a boner-demon, not helped by the face that I went on to facebook and BAM! saw a picture of one of the hot girls I know dancing in hot pants by a pole in some night club, yeah just what I need lol. But thankfully I've overcome all urges and was even on the edge of edging, but I changed the language I use to myself, instead of saying, ''it's too tough, I can't do it man'' I thought to myself ''I am choosing to do this, I am choosing to throw away all my hard work over a small, meaningless and selfish pleasure.'' And also to think in the moment things such as ''ok, so It looks like I'm trying to not to think of such ans such right now'', as though I'm seeing myself from a different perspective.

I hope this technique or use of language to themselves helps them. For me right now, still in the back of my mind somewhere I know the temptation is there, it's difficult to describe. But anyway, day 8, some struggling, but doing ok.

 

On day 10, would love to say I've been consistently strong but I've edged twice crazy stupid ideas, wasn't thinking rationally at the time and some thoughts led to another. Sometimes I'm feeling like 'man I got this' and other times it feels like it's all about to cave in, most dangerous of all is there's times on my good days where I think it's going to be super easy, and then I have those quiet nagging voices that would just casually say ' I've made it past a week, maybe I'll just do it once a week and slowly weed it down from there' or some kind of celebratory final wank or something,as If I'm going to have fireworks and a goodbye ceremony or something.

 

Relapsed. Made it to roughly 11 days. I had a lot going on the last few days then today I was free this morning, and then bored some how, and then this all surfaced. Despite that I relapsed I've come pretty far given where I was, I know the techniques put in place help alot, I think one of things Mark Queppet said that really changed how I think of things when he said you need to start living your 'awesome life' in substitute of porn, out lives won't magically be more awesome after 90 days or so.

So I'm not bummed out, I saw progress, and I'm just gonna get back up.

Great quote of the day from Les Brown

''If you're gonna fall then try and land on your back, cause If you can look up, you can get up''