The bad me is winning

It does. Not obligatory, but you'll like it. Should be a normal thing to do for everyone, cause it helps to talk about our inner life to some external objective person. But in our addiction, it's more than welcome.

 

What do you mean by not commit any sin?

 

You ain't weird man. We all tried hentai. And placed in front of a computer with sexual images, we all fall for it.
Start realizing you're not a different case, even though we have different stories. First step. Else, you won't see a path to recovery.

You're afraid that your porn addiction altered the way you look at women? Is that it? Or you have religious beliefs and don't want to share sexual activities and fantasies with others? I don't know what you mean by I don't want to sin. And what about talking with a psychologist?

 

That is a very serious possibility. But, you're not defined by what you saw or did. Once you quit porn, you'll come back to natural desires. Trust me or many others on this website.

I don't want to go against religion, not on this website, and you don't have to deny your faith. But lust is a natural thing. If you don't learn to live with it, you'll continue to have repression problems. Religion has a way to explain things in parables. You should not be unfaithful, that much is true. But lust, can't cut off your parts man. Try some science/psychology books for a change and that isn't going against your religion to better understand yourself.

I also believe that you seem confuse on many things, I might be wrong. Seeking professional help is far from a bad thing.

 

As far as blocking, I found for me, that was maybe the worst. I have OCD. It would cause me to spend hours trying to find random sites. It was absolute insanity. I've been fighting with this for a long time, thus the name tiredofdoingthis. I get the disappointment and irritation . Try not to be too hard on yourself. I got to 12 days, then to 9. I guess we just keep trying.

 

If you can, find a girl. If you can’t... find a girl. I know it’s sometimes easier said then done but super important for your long term goals. Your not ready for that yet anyways. The P brain pathways run deep still, super deep. Keep hitting your no PMO streaks and even if you relapse ITS NO BIG DEAL you are still starving those neuro connections. Eventually you will have longer and longer streaks. It’s hard really hard... but so worth it.

Stop watching TV, no movies and I know one can’t completely stay off a phone but try really really hard to not look at YouTube Facebook Instagram ect... triggers everywhere, it’s seriousky fucked up out there ... traps everywhere. Don’t watch TV none of that stuff. Triggers everywhere. Read books spiritual or science whatever floats your boat I can recommend a few of you want. Write here often very often. Make time pass so you have none for P.

Find pride in the new you be proud be different. You will be amazed when you get there I promise you.

90 days, that when real change starts. You will notice stuff at 60 but nothing like 90+ Ohhh and IMO it’s okay to rub one out best after 3+ weeks but not more than once per week. And when you do it, only once, make it quick like 3 min or less, nothing fancy, think simple stuff to get off, nothing to porny. IMO having a safe balance will make your trip more easy and you can get there, I did.

 

Well you and me and everybody else on this site then in that case mate! You're not a loser for falling. You're only a loser if you don't get back up on the horse. I relapsed myself last night after just three sober days, but I'm not going to let self disgust and loathing stand in my way. Learn from your mistakes and identify your triggers and come up with a strategy and as the motto of the Munster rugby team puts it, "STAND UP AND FIGHT!"

 

What else are you doing to manage your emotions?
What are you doing for your social life?
What are you doing with your free time?
Why are you in places where you can possibly watch porn? Do you not have other enjoyable things to go do and people to be with?

The path out of this isn't "stopping" it's developing a more sustainable way of life.

 

I think the first step for you is finding other hobbies besides being at home alone on a computer. It's very isolating. The problem is that we are isolated in a lifestyle that disconnects us from others. You'll need to find other things to fill your time with and learn to find real relationships

 

From 12-13-14 here. When I look at that, I'm almost 30. . . More life with porn than without it.

Of course, my consumption wasn't as bad during all that time.

Anyway. I'm done. I hope it's real this time. I feel different. I feel I can do it.