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Addiction Recovery: Difference of Sobriety and Recovery

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Jagliana, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    A great video I found, please watch it and figure out if you are really in recovery or just being sober. This will make a world of difference for you and your SO!
    ------------------------
    Sobriety is refraining but recovery is recovering your self-worth, gaining skills & moving forward. Here are some of the highlights:

    Sobriety can contribute to the addiction - An individual who is doing all of his recovery work to try to stay sober, he's doing it from a place of fear and control, and place of shame.

    Compliance with your wife is not recovery - Doing everything right because she tells you to is sobriety. Recovery is not about checklist or how many days you are sober. Recovery is about "Surrender."

    The best indicator of recovery is the ability to be vulnerable. If you recover your self-worth then you can be vulnerable - you can be honest, open and more connected to your spouse.

     
  2. Thank you for posting this. This makes a lot of since and is something im struggling with.
     
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  3. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    Amen!!
     
    Jagliana likes this.
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    You're welcome! I hope it helps anyone struggling with this feeling and maybe help guide them into true recovery if they are really in sobriety only.
     
  5. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    This one line made me tear up slightly.

    I can't wait to listen to this whole video...thanks for sharing!
     
    hope4healing likes this.
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    :)

    Please let me know what you think of it! it hit home for me, Wade was "sober" (in sobriety for a few weeks) often after D-Days, when he promised "never again", now he is actually in real recovery. I didn't even know there was a difference until I saw this video and now it all makes sense.
     
  7. TryingHard2Change

    TryingHard2Change Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I just finished listening to it. It is really good. For me, full surrender happened probably just 2 or 3 months ago maybe? I don't know.

    One thing that I think is critical for True surrender... full disclosure and 100% transparency are a must. There is something about having a secret, that I don't think you can really surrender.

    Surrendering to recovery, surrendering to the process--that takes full honesty..and with that, you can find peace even through the difficulty.
     
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Exactly!!! until Wade opened up and gave me his full disclosure (as horrendous and painful as it was to hear). I felt something was still off, but after it was like I finally saw him, all of him down to his core and then I was able to open up too. Prior to that, during our talks I was just actively listening, something was holding me back, it's like I sensed he was still hiding something. It's weird to explain.
     
  9. spudiron

    spudiron Fapstronaut

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    These guys have a podcast (The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert). My SO and I generally listen to 1-2 a week on no-tv-night, and I think they've all done a pretty good job discussing of the topic at hand.
     
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Is it only on iTunes?
     
  11. spudiron

    spudiron Fapstronaut

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  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

  13. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
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  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Yep, the YouTube channel is where I've been watching them :) I actually found their free podcasts on the "Castbox" app on Android, now I can listen on the go! woot ;-)
     
  15. Tan3110

    Tan3110 Fapstronaut

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  16. Healmyheart

    Healmyheart Fapstronaut

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    This is awesome!
     
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  17. TryingToHeal

    TryingToHeal Fapstronaut

  18. 0111zerozero11

    0111zerozero11 Fapstronaut

    Thanks!
     
  19. Banjaxed

    Banjaxed Fapstronaut

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    Good vid, thanks for bumping.

    I’m trying not to read too much into the fact that my wife definitely doesn’t feel safe, let alone trust me. In fact she just told me that she doesn’t know me - my personality has completely changed. I’m taking that as a good thing though, I don’t want to be like how I was
     
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  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    These days, I feel like my husband @Wade W. Wilson is a completely different person too, unrecognizable really - from how he was before recovery, especially towards me. IT IS A GOOD THING btw. I still don't feel safe or completely trust him yet, that takes times and must be earned, but this new guy has a shot, that old one, I was done with him.
     

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