1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Signs you may be a sissy?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Omega909, Oct 23, 2018.

  1. Omega909

    Omega909 Fapstronaut

    36
    17
    8
    Worried I'm going to become one or am one. Never watched the video stuff but idk if you guys have heard of the website *website name redacted* but I never realized until I thought about it this morning I had a couple of pics that had sissy training or stuff like that at the top and it's making me feel like I am one now. I was looking at them and I don't think I did every single thing it told me to do like cross dressing or just being girly. I was into the anal part though but a lot of guys like anal. I was usually high and drunk too when I did this stuff. I don't want to be a girl or anything. See I just question myself too much I can't tell half the time what I feel. I suffer from OCD too which is probably making it worse. I worry a lot too. I just need to know for sure I'm not one. I use to worry that I'm bisexual or something but really don't give a shit anymore if I am or not but I can't be a sissy that's something I'll never be able to accept it if I am. I think I'm making this sound like a disease lol.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2018
  2. DogDaysOfLife

    DogDaysOfLife Fapstronaut

    192
    218
    43
    Sissy isn't just something someone has to be. It's not the way that you are. It's a porn-y word. Get it out of your vocabulary. Don't use it to describe yourself, even mentally.

    If you have that down, you don't have to ask these kinds of questions of yourself. These pictures are stupid manipulative porn, and they don't represent reality.
     
  3. I think it's just the porn man. I would just stop doing the porn and see what happens. You might feel urges but that is just from the porn. Get the book release your breaks and psychocybernetics. Even if you are doing this now it can change. You weren't like this your whole life. You can change into something else.
     
    DogDaysOfLife likes this.
  4. GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

    255
    236
    43
    The thing is that sissy hypno shite, it’s usually all straight sex images. I got into that for awhile. It’s just the Addicts thing of needing more excitement. It’s exciting playing with your life, watching hypno shit. Like oh maybe I’ll be forced to be a girl and get railed. It’s just harder stuff for harder addicts. I realized one time that when I was watching it I could only get off to the images of girls doing it. Never actually guy on guy. But the videos warp you to think you want the penis. But I thought so why do I only like the girl on guy ones, if these are training me to be a gay person. It’s because that not actually what I wanted. I’m just becoming more and more disillusioned by porn and fapping. I have a strongggg feeling being sober for a few months would more or less stop all weird sexual fantasy stuff. I’m hoping it’s like alcohol and drugs. Once you stop for about 30 days you literally don’t even think about it anymore. Never gone 30 days without faps so we’ll find out.
     
    DogDaysOfLife likes this.
  5. ukbritishbloke

    ukbritishbloke Fapstronaut

    211
    342
    63
    For some reason this has made me think through a whole analysis of what I think's happening with "sissy" stuff.

    I don't think the "sissy" thing is what anyone is, deep down. I think it's an idea some guys masturbate to because of porn. If you really, really want to do it when you're not using any porn, then fine: but you're rare.

    Here's what I think may be happening:
    1. Some guys like crossdressing, or else just have fetishes for particular kinds of women's clothes or items. They don't need to look at porn to have this kink. If you're one of these men, the actual things you like will be less harmful to you than porn about them. Stay away from porn and be honest with girlfriends about this thing you like. It'll be much less harmful to you if you don't exaggerate what it is or let it escalate.
    2. Some guys have or develop a fetish for women being "dominant", which can mean lots of different things. Sometimes this involves *some* sort of thoughts about reversing traditional gender roles. From what I can work out, this is the most obviously image-related and porn-related of these kinks, and I think porn is really dangerous for these guys.
    3. Some couples like to do a kinky or femdom thing where he dresses up and is her "sissy". If you're actually doing that now in real life with a willing woman, fine. Or with a willing gay guy. If you're into that sort of thing, it'll be more fun than porn.
    4. A few people really are transgender or transsexual. I don't think they wonder if they're "sissies" or have fetishes. I think they know what they are without looking at any pictures or websites. If you don't know you're in this category, then I doubt you are.
    My best guess for what's going on is that porn culture has led to *fantasy about* categories (3) and (4) tempting guys who are in category (1) and (2) down a deeper and more dangerous rabbit hole.

    I think all these people, categories (1) to (4), should give up porn. But it's most important for categories (1) and (2).

    I think category (1) men *usually* have containable, non-harmful fetishes that will moderate if they give up porn, and not interfere in any major way with relationships. Many women will be fine with you having a "thing" for lipstick or stockings or whatever. It's okay, and can be directed towards attraction to her of course. Ongoing porn use is what's likely to escalate it and make her worry that you're in love with her panties/bras/shoes or whatever and not her. Some women will even be okay with cross-dressing, as long as it's containable and not escalating unpredictably to something like doing "sissy". Again, it's ongoing porn use that I think is the danger. The risk for these men is that their fetish or crossdressing can take over their whole lives and means they really have to be single and "pornosexual" long term.

    Category (2) men are I think very vulnerable to porn taking them in all sorts of different directions. If they give up porn, I think they can work out what it really is, deep down, that makes them feel they like "dominant" women. I think it can at root just be an idea of women being really sexy, confident and exciting, which is a really natural way for a straight man to feel of course. It can be that *plus* a fetish for something like shoes, or shiny clothes. It can be the sexy exciting woman thing *plus* an interest in risk and sensation, something that attracts a lot of men in good and bad ways (speed, pain and rush like in sport, gambling, drugs). I think there's actually a lot of healthy sexuality in these men, potentially, if they keep away from porn and just focus on being attracted to women. But porn is really dangerous for them and can lead them to depressing "pornosexual" places where they're exploited. Like doing "sissy".

    I'm going to float a funny idea now that may be way off beam, but let me know what you think. I suspect the pain/rush/sensation attracted category (2) guys are the ones most likely to benefit from the "cold showers" approach to NoFap. That may be a positive way to channel their need for exciting sensations.

    If you're a category (3) guy, okay. You're probably doing what you're doing because you're with a woman who wants you to do it. Fine, if you both like it. But this is only genuine category (3) guys. Guys who are actually in category (1) or (2) and only masturbating to the idea of being in category (3) are not in category (3). They may well be porn-soaked category (1) or (2) men. They're actually more likely to achieve their dreams if they give up porn. I think *a few* men genuinely know they need to be in category (3), and are looking for a suitable female partner. Stay off porn and you might find her.

    Category (4) people need no advice from me, except that giving up porn is as good for them as everyone else.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2018
    +TenPercent likes this.
  6. @ukbritishbloke , thank you for the thorough, thoughtful, accepting and respectful analysis! :)

    I had an underwear fetish and probably some sissy traits before I ever found porn. I am sure that it has a lot to do with my upbringing (confusing sexual messages, domineering emasculating mother, not having much male influence at that time) as well as my early romantic/sexual experiences.

    But, I'm sure that porn didn't help!! In some ways, perhaps it helped "unlock" some of my deepest, darkest desires. Maybe. But I think it really complicated and confused things. And, as you described, porn and fantasy were so much easier than taking risks and trying to find a suitable partner that I have spent much of my life as a single, pornosexual. :(

    I have been trying to give up internet porn for 8 years now, with a fair amount of success, and some very long stretches without. A question that I continue to wrestle with is: Regardless of if I was born this way, or my experiences made me this way, or the porn did it . . . am I simply this way now? How much of it can I "heal" from and how much will be with me forever? Should I accept it? Should I embrace it??

    I am definitely healthier and more masculine now. But, nothing really does it for me like those fantasies and the thought of monogamous, vanilla sex just doesn't hold my attention.
    I think my best bet for resolving the issue and finding out who I really am is to get into that relationship. And every time that I look at porn or take any other short-cut to get a little bit of that feeling . . . I'm just shooting myself in the foot.
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Let your brain reset with NoFap and see if you still feel this way
     
  8. countitjoy5

    countitjoy5 Fapstronaut

    456
    393
    63
    Effeminate is the better word. Porn sterilizes men, basically neuters them.
     
  9. hijodelaluna18

    hijodelaluna18 Fapstronaut

    can you elaborate on this please? its a topic Im very interested in
     

Share This Page