Greetings, I'm an athlete And I'm quitting PMO! [HARD MODE]

Hello, I'm a 20 year old university student, gamer, and a sports lover.

I always knew NoFap, but I never thought a community like this could do me any favor in quitting watching porn and fapping.

I've always thought I can do this myself without anyone's help. Yet, every time I quit, I relapse once again. Now I took a decision, that it's okay to get help. I trust myself that I can quit. And I also trust NoFap's community.


For a quick summary on my life, I started watching porn long ago when a friend introduced it to me before I even hit puberty. Then it stayed a part of my life until I started masturbating. I've played sports from a young age, mainly soccer. And a year ago I found an interest in Track and Field sports (especially 100-200m Sprint). I took Usain Bolt as a role model. And I started training, after 3-4 months I took part in the universities' contest for Track & Field that occurs once a year. I didn't get a very good result in the 100meters and 200meters run, but it was a great experience. I'm looking forward towards the next year's contest that will be in March, 2019.

Why do I want to quit?

• Because this is not a good habit religiously neither is it for my health.
• It wastes a lot of my time. ​
• It makes me so depressed that I feel like I am not on control over my body. ​
• It makes my body feel weak.
• The long time I spend staring at the mobile phone damages my eye-sight horribly since I wear glasses too.
  Mainly I want to quit! I desire quitting this habit more than anything..

For everyone who read this, I really appreciate it and I thank you for your time.
I wanted to take the opportunity to reach out and ask for any tips as this is my first day on NoFap. [27/8/2018]


My longest streak was for 45 days in 2017 without fapping or watching porn.

I found a Fapstronaut called @Son of shiva , who wrote a forum called Struggle to win: journal of a warrior. I liked how he thought of doing this in a fun way like a journey.

 

-Yes this is right. Addressing the roots of our problems is necessary. I usually masturbated and watched porn before sleeping. Since I always used my mobile at that time for hours, so I usually get bored and start surfing Instagram and that triggers me to open a website or two.
When I started with NoFap I moved my mobile charger from next to my bed to avoid using it before sleeping. It turns out that it's a successful thing so far.
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-Yeah exactly! It never have to be a solo-story. I hope you stay motivated and if you feel at any time that your motivation is lost or maybe weaker, remember why you're doing this and the benefits of quitting. Let's do this!!!!
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-This is great, if you found an interest in working out then keep it up!
Thanks a lot. This decision really means a lot to me

Gaming is awesome really. But you're more, you're a game developer which is amazing!!
I've had an interest in game development, and I thought maybe I would research more about it and also about game design.

 

Thanks to everyone for their continuous support!
I really like this. It's refreshing and motivating. It helps you continue on moving towards the right path.

Today I completed [3-CHALLENGE] THE THREE DAYS CHALLENGE !
And I'm going for the seven days challenge. This is feeling great! I'm a bit grumpy but I know everything is going for the best.
​

#Day_3

 

On the day 7/8/2018,
I got a buzz cut. Which reminds me that now I am a changed person. I am going to keep this up. And reach the 14 days without PMO then follow it with a bigger challenge.

 

Thanks Sam!! That really refilled my hope and motivation
I appreciate this and good luck to you too

 

Today I completed the 14-DAYS CHALLENGE
I am still a bit down cuz of some rage I had yesterday while playing games and soccer. Yet this is making me positive.
Without a doubt, this challenge was completed in the most fitting time. As I usually do, I am going to reward myself for completing this challenge. I am not sure how yet but I will find something and link it to it.

I am grateful for God, NoFap community and myself for these achievements. And I am making a promise right now to keep on fighting PMO!!!

 

Unfortunately, I relapsed...
I hate to say it, but I'm resetting my counter and beginning my path without PMO from a new road. I failed! I was weak. I knew for the past 2-3 hours that it would lead to this, but I couldn't prevent myself.
To resist the temptation to watch Porn, I watched anime instead. And I kind of choose one with perverted stuff in it to please myself as if it wouldn't lead to relapsing. I deluded myself into thinking that this way was safer. Or did I even care? I am not sure to be honest..
It is hard!! It really is..
Facing many failures in the past week at various stuff in my life is too tough for me to handle. But life ain't fair. No one said it was. Yet I believe that God is and will always be there. I am looking forward to walking this path again. And failing won't stop me from being who I really want to be.
A man who is faithful to himself. A man who can live his life without carrying the burden of porn and masturbation on his shoulders and blaming himself for not avoiding it. I am a man who was born HUMAN! It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to keep writing like I'm doing right now.
It makes me feel better to express myself. Not for anyone, but for myself! For myself to be reading what my hand is writing! For my brain to process how much this is hard for me and to rationalise the bad impact this habit of watching porn and maturating have on me. And finally, for my heart to realise how much I really hate this!

I will keep on fighting!
I'm rewalking the path I walked. But this time I'm stronger, and wiser than before..

 

I've truely wasted a lot of time.. I need to get back up and fight!
I need to be honest with myself. Do I like myself today? DO I LOVE MYSELF?
This person who is angry and rude to others.
This person who is not having fun anymore with video games due to the rage he's having in each game he loses.
This person who is not even trying.
This person who gives up.
This person who is emotionally unstable.
This person who is not having fun anymore.
This person who lies to himself.
This person eho has no control over his mind and body.
This person who is not happy, which is related to satisfaction, satisfaction with the self.

 

Of course not!! I don't like this person... I don't love myself anymore...
I have to change to the better
I have to make it happen
I was a changed and a better person before but I fell down.
I want to smile again truly from my heart
I don't want to watch any kind of porn or masturbate
I can change again..

 

Hey Fercho,
I really appreciate this a lot!
I've already started right now to check the resources you mentioned. And I'm going to start meditating also!

Good luck to you too!
And yes! Let's keep on fighting

 

I'm personally proud of that! It's great to stick to that..

PMO is without a doubt a huge reason for my current situation! Friends around me are telling me that I've changed, I'm quickly losing my temper also

I hope we get rid of this bad habit.
Let's do this
We can do this!!

 

It's terribly disgusting! This feeling on my heart is so heavily depressing. Yet, I tend to forget this feeling each time, being controlled by the lust and desires. Creating reasons to reach those desires. Telling my self it would only be a quick look. Who am I tricking? Who am I deluding? Myself!!? My evil selfish self... It's so hard. I really want to quit. And I know that I want to quit. I know that the path is always full of hardships that's why I am patient. But I really wanted to show my own self, that I still feel sad about relapses. I still want to quit. And I am quitting!!

#NotGivingUpIsMyPower