How I will be able to stop looking at girls butts?

@Senso repair, I've been keeping a list of threads about ogling which you may find useful, it's here.

 

It all starts from what you let in your heart and mind I think that’s what is important

 

LOL!

 

My father once told me... look once you're a man. Look twice, you're not a husband. No reason to feel bad about looking at a woman's body. We're hardwired that way (this is why porn is so addictive for us). But if you keep staring then you quickly step over into "creep" territory... people don't like that.

 

Thanks for being so thoughtful, @kropo82.

One of my best tricks is to try to remember people have names. That they are a real person. This is a problem in all of society -- look at the #MeToo thing which is worse because it's abuse, but we men should conduct ourselves better.

 

You could just get a thought in your mind that women are also a creation of god and we need to respect them. All women have butts. Why be fantasized? Just ignore and patt yourself that you have matured a little bit and it will work.

 

You won’t cuz your a healthy sexual male. But with enough abstinence and work on yourself and stopping all PMO you might gain what I’ve gained, which is very little compulsion to look and very little obsession over it once I look.

I can take it or leave it, but my healthy sexual ideal leaves room for looking, but since nofap and no PMO I am not obsessed with butts and can look at them with a healthy and normal and balanced level of sexual desire.

Example from tonight actually! There was a girl walking her dog. I was eating dinner with my parents at a restaurant.

Spoiler

She had yoga pants on and I could see her panties through her pants as she walked across the crosswalk.

I looked for a few seconds as she walked, but then went back to my food and conversation. She was still in view, yet I didn’t look any more. I didn’t force myself to stop, there wasn’t that magnetic pull. I looked but Then I moved on.

Was it hot? Yes! Was I turned on, yes! Did I become obsessed and lose all focus of the moment with my dinner and parents? No.

In the past I wouldn’t have been able to look away, until she was completely out of site. Then I would have thought about it for a while and fantasized.

 

Thats it for me. Spend a few hours in a major airport which I do regularly. Its fucking exhausting.
Its also totally unappropriated behavior. Lol.
All kidding aside. I have to actively ignore women which is nearly impossible for me. That being said I am an alcoholic with close to 10 years sober and I play music in bars and go to them and never have a second thought about taking a drink. I cant seem to maintain that kind of willpower when Im in a hotel for a week. Porn is always available. I have managed to do a few good runs of 30+ days but its very difficult for me. I keep trying though.

 

Been there, done that

 

Just ask Bill Clinton,he sure likes to look.

 

Use the same principles of the Big Book but for this addiction.

Pray, meditate, journal daily. Do a detailed 4th step and clean house. Seek a therapist and other outside help so you can honestly discuss your sex problems. Go to SAA meetings and discuss regularly with others. Get to the root of the problem rather than the symptom as the big blog suggests.

And also, I had to force myself not to look for a while. It was so painful not to look, that I literally would cry. I was letting go of something that kept me protected from pain for so long that not being able to use sex as a way to calm mysyself made my literally cry amd I became depressed. I discussed these issues with everyone I could, and eventually I got over that hump. Probably 30 days into intensive work on myself.

Hope this helps you on your journey!

 

We are hardwired, I understand that completely, but this is a big trigger for me. The truth is that there are many facets of a woman that I find appealing. It could be a voice or hair, certainly any number of areas of the body. Out in the world I fixate and then the fantasizing begins. I can say that this is normal to a degree and I dont consider myself a deviant in any way. But if it is left unchecked, I can only handle so much until it reaches a critical mass. Thats where porn comes in.
I get to my room and then it is the first thing I do often times.
The reality for me is that the novelty of porn is very close to the novelty of seeing 30 different very attractive women in the course of a day traveling across the country. The fantasies that takes shape in my mind can be like watching 30 different scenes. If I had a thing with only one type of woman then maybe it wouldnt be so bad. But I dont discriminate, I like em all...
I have to keep my eyes and my attention on lockdown. It is very very hard for me.
Master roshi said that he became very sad. Having something taken away from you that you use as a method of calming yourself or a crutch for stress or comfort is very real. When I deliberately look away, I feel a loss then, like being robbed of something and it is tangible. It is a very curious sensation. I am denying myself a potential fantasy and I can feel it physically. This is at the very the core of my addiction. This has been a good conversation and I appreciate all of your input.