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I don't know what to do anymore.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Sep 11, 2018.

  1. Am from Kenya. I started fapping to porn when i was fifteen years old, i mnow 24 years old. I noticed the negative effects of pmo when i was seventeen, i noticed my energy levels were very low and that i would get depressed everytime i pmoéd. I had very clear skin when i was young but now my face i ugly and covered with pimples. Pmo turned me from a social likable and jovial kid to a depressed social creep who can't even look people in the eyes. Sometimes am even scared of going out in public because of anxiety and low self confidence. I discovered nofap when i was nineteen and i have been trying to quit ever since. I have failed time and time again. With each relapse being worse than the previous one.
    Fuck. I have lost five jobs because of this addiction. I actually just quit a great job as an aircraft maintenance because i have been too depressed, anxious and fatigued and everytime i try to quit i always get these painful withdrawal symptoms that can't even allow me to work in peace.
    I apologize if the post is a little all over the place, am just feeling very low and hopeless. I feel so low and defeated. My life has just been so dark and miserable since i discovered pmo. I have no friends and have never actually had a bestfriend, my family has lost faith in me because they think am making excuses and that am just lazy. I lost my virginity to a pro and i still regret that to this day. Right now i have nothing, I have no job, I have terrible depression and no one round me seems to give a shit, I know nobody owes me anything but sometimes it helps to know that at least someone understands. My next move is to go live with my dad in up country where there is no internet, with a cheap phone for calls and text only and just rewire my brain in a quiet place and just shut the noise from the world until i get well. Pmo is dangerous and very unhealthy, if you are struggling to quit, keep pushing and don't stop for anything. Pmo has ruined my life and if my story can help anyone not fall in the same trap i will be happy. Please guys, especially young bros, stop now before its too late. Am leaving my old life behind and am going to start from scratch with my first goal being to rewire my brain far away from the city away from all the noise and any kind of internet and artificial stimulation. This is my last resort as i have tried everything to quit. Wish me luck and prayers from you guys will also be appreciated. I wish all the best to you guys and gals trying to better yourselves. thank you and good bye
     
  2. jk243

    jk243 Fapstronaut

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    You'll be good man. Don't say It's too late. I'm fighting too but you need To keep your head up. You are not béaten yeah. Tell this addiction To someone you know, It will help. GOOD LUCK!
     
    Criss27 likes this.
  3. theBornAgain

    theBornAgain Fapstronaut

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    You are not alone I am 27 and I am going through the same hell. You can talk to me if you need a friend brother.
    Love from India
     
    Criss27 likes this.
  4. Thank you so much for your kind words. Its this feeling of being trapped that is getting to me. I plan to tell my dad about it and i really hope it will all be well.
     
    Criss27 likes this.
  5. Thanks brother. It's been a really long struggle and i feel hopeless. But i will stay strong because giving up is not an option. All the best to you in your reboot journey.
     
    Criss27 and theBornAgain like this.
  6. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I hear you man. Never ever give up. You do not have my judgement on you. I cannot count the number of times I screwed up. Keep busy, work out if possible, learn learn learn, think about who you want to be. Think about what your family wants you to be. Help other people. I prayed for you just now. I've been clean for over 2 months and feel a lot better now. Once you get going it gets easier. It's just the start which is the hardest part.
     
    Criss27 and theBornAgain like this.
  7. Red79

    Red79 Fapstronaut

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    Im in the same boat bro but im really just noticing i had this problem.. I tried my 1st Nofap an went 5 days then relapse, felt like a total asshole the second i came, it was like them 5days was a waste of time, so im tryin again an i feel really good about it this go round, i had over 15000 nut bustin pics downloaded on my tablet an it took alot to delete them.. Like it took a whole lot to delete them shitz man smh..but i did an i leave my tablet at my job so i wont have access to it.. My phone screen is all shattered so it wont be no use to surf the web... But look at like this, itz only gonna help us in the long run, itz jus the beginnin thats the hardest... But when im with my gf, i be thinkin in my head, i have to stop lettin her down because i kno she loves me an wants my dick...so ima jus stick it out for our relationship but most of all me.. I been with quite a few women over the last few yrs, had sex with some but couldn't cum..an some of them i jus couldn't get hard...enuff is e-fukin-nuff bro...im about to be on my 2nd day, we both startin fresh on Nofap, so lets walk thru this together
     
    mark andrews likes this.
  8. Thank you. I have to make some changes if i want my life to change. All the best to you as well. Thanks again
     
  9. I don't even know how it feels to have a girl like you. I have 0 social life and I just feel very anxious when around. Legit scared that I may never get a chance to even connect to a girl in a normal human level. I guess this should be more of a motivation to improve and be better. Thank you for your post and all the best in your recovery as well
     
    Criss27 likes this.
  10. WHY DID YOU DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT?
     
  11. Dear bro, know that it never too late to make a change. You first of all have to understand that you are not expected to quit the addiction at a go. You however have to work on improving your self control. I have been failing and restarting the Nofap journey since 2002 when I was like 14 years.

    You should never give up on your fight to be free, it vital that you keep fighting and fighting. Relapsing is important if only you are learning your lessons. You have to make the decision, your have to make it with your heart that you are done with this life. You will notice that your relapsing intervals will be longer, from hours to days, from days to weeks and then your will power will be growing.

    If you are going to even live for only a year from now till you die, give yourself victory before you die, you deserve it.
    That the decision I have made, I have had enough PMO, time to give my life back to myself.

    You have to also know that depression, anxiety, weakness in the body, palpitations, lightheadedness, insomnia etc will strike you hard when you start a recovery process, there is no way around it, it is part of the things you will experience in the journey but they are not permanent. It will start going away at a point and your manliness and health will start coming in.

    I live in Africa, you can give me your number in my inbox, i will call you so that we talk. we can even whatsapp, im willing to help you to that level, you can't fight this alone.

    Also you may confide in someone you trust around you, I for example told my bestfriend who also admitted he is suffering as well, I told my ex girlfriend who also said she is also fighting with PMO. A lot of people are messing up their lives out there with PMO because of depression and anxieties of in our world today.

    So to end this remember
    1. Really make the decision to quit from the bottom of your heart.
    2. Always remember the cost of this addiction.
    3. PMO is out to steal, kill and destroy
    4. You can be free from porn completely regardless of how you are feeling now.
    5. Never give up no matter how bad you relapse, learn vital lessons and apply them from relapsing event. START OVER IMMEDIATELY
    6. Start your social life again, make friends and start talking. I started by befriending people seen as lower class members of society, those who sell by the streets, barbers, market women, mechanics (i go sit in their shops), etc. People who are proud to have you as a friend. You can learn a lot of things from them and then also build your social skills up again. Plus you get to do other things than being alone and wanting to watch porn.
    7. There are more things in life better than PMO.
    8. Do exercises and push the energy there. (Weight lifting, swimming, running/jogging etc
    9. Avoid looking at women. Block everything that will push your mind to PMO
    10. DISCIPLINE IS KEY
    11. Put your phone or computer away from you in the night and evenings, delete your facebook and instagram or any social media account, When i deleted them I stopped seeing feeds of people posting Porn-ish things on my timeline, I had no reason to go for my phone at night and I started having longer streaks in nofap.
    12. When you wake up don't be lying around on your bed and looking on your phone, you are soon to go to a porn site and PMO. So when you wake up, start preparing for work. If there is no work, get up and go jogging or to the gym to work out and when you get back, go to the local mechanic shop, barbershop, market friend or something and talk to your new friends.
    13. Keep your room neat and tidy,
    14. Read a self improvement book
    15. You can move from zero to hero, you have to decide and give up honestly.
    16. You have to completely change your life or nothing new will come to you.
    17. You have the energy and character to win. Yes you may lose battles, but you can still win the war.
    18. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN
    19. VICTORY IS RESERVED FOR THOSE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE.

    IT ALL IN YOUR HANDS NOW WILL YOU CHOOSE TO WIN?
     
    Deleted Account, Brookswho and jk243 like this.

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