What gave you the high during your addiction?

I wish for free and easy things, but the reality is that a lot of things in this world aren't free, so when Porn offers material I would "want" without ever demanding anything from anyone, very little (if anything at all) would stop me. Yes, I had particular content that would give me highs, but it's simply the idea that whatever perverted thought that came up in my mind I knew I could search up something in the Internet that would give me the means to access that thing free of charge. It could be anything from fantasizing about an actress or fictional character and using that as an idea of what I want to look at to fantasizing about a female in a certain position or doing a certain action. The ease of access is a big thing for me and hence why discipline is incredibly important to me.

 

I usually search for amwf, soft rape fantasy, or anything with women of my type. I really like breasts and only watch the scenes where I can see breasts. I hate the forceful, torture, gay, tran stuff personally and I wish I can filter them.
For me I like to be the observer because it's more visual stimulating. I am in a relationship and had cut down a lot of porn use already.

 

The high for me would start when a particular model I liked would have a new video up, and then I would jump from one video of her's to the other, or to similar videos.

 

interesting question...
I asked myself "what are you looking for?" so many times, because I would sit in front of the computer for hours and hours on end just searching one video after the next. I have also never in my life managed to watch a complete porno, from start to finish. I would watch a small bit in the beginning, maybe some in the middle and then in the end again. So I constantly wondered why the fuck am I doing this... and also realised that the internet is full of porn and no matter how long I sit there and search and watch this urge will never be satisfied.

So I guess in a way the search for porn was what drew me to it. Many times seeing girls naked and doing porn would be less attractive that searching different keywords to see what comes up or if there is this one specific thing that I could find.

 

I would go to cams and watch so it would mostly be a girl masturbating

 

I been addicted to porn since I started m when I was 12, before that I had seen p but never cared much about it. For me it was the fantasy of the stuff i was into, but sometimes my curiosity would lead to some harder stuff, but I believe it was never something I liked, it was more the addiction for the pmo I was looking for. 24 years later and married twice and had plenty of sexual partners but the addiction stays with me, and is something I don't need anymore, in my opinion lust is a big issue with my pmo addiction. I have never really rewired my brain to enjoy normal stuff like spending time with out the need to pmo, but I never stop trying to get better. Your brain on porn is a really good book on porn addiction and how it traps us for a fix just like any type of addiction.

 

Sodomy. Why? Not many women are into that in real life, so that's what fueled my high. I could browse through a 100 porn videos but if they did not contain that act, I couldn't be bothered (no matter how attractive the woman was).
On the flip side, if a video contained a woman engaging in that act then I would be turned on regardless of what she looked like. This is was one of the reasons why I quit porn: It was making me chase after women who I would have never been attracted to in real life.