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I would like to tell a story...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by James Mattingly, Aug 22, 2018.

  1. James Mattingly

    James Mattingly Fapstronaut

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    I would like to tell you all a strange and maybe wonderful story of the first time I tried to quit porn. A couple years ago, when I was in college, I started to realize that I had an addiction to pornography. In the midst of one of my first attempts to quit, I went on a school service Trip to Kingston Jamaica. Within the first couple days, the withdrawal symptoms took control of me. My head felt like it was being pressed in a juicer, my anxiety shot through the roof, but most deeply, the shame was killing me. I was on a trip in a foreign land with 20 people I hardly knew and I was terrified that someone would find out. I thought I would die. As I wandered around the Jamaican convent, listless and ashamed, while my peers were out "serving the community," I started hearing Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" outside. At first I thought it was a recording on a very good, very loud sound system, and then I realized it wasn't a recording at all. It was a choir of children in the large cabana in the courtyard. To this day, it is the most beautiful choir I have ever heard. Sometimes I think it was a dream. I looked out and I saw 20-30 Jamaican children singing "Mirrors" in this country on which the previous day, I saw a fleet of cops with ak-47s. It was striking. I couldn't not be poetic about it. It was one of the strangest moments of my life. I can't say I'm religious, but I think their are moments where God winks at us, where God fucks with us a little. And there's beauty in it. Maybe there is beauty in these moments of pain.
     
    K-Arctic, sum8 and Jazzmusician like this.
  2. Music has a magical power. And this relates to all genres.

    I am much into classical music and there is incredible stuff in there to listen to to get relief for different causes. I think this has to do with the fact that the greatest composers just expressed their own feelings so accurately in music that it re-vibrates in us. And because many of them composed pieces to relief their own anger, anxiety, depression and soothing desires it helps a lot to overcome our own negative feelings. If you search you will find more things you will like.
     
  3. James Mattingly

    James Mattingly Fapstronaut

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    Jazz too?
     
  4. I would say so. Jazz pieces usually don't have the length of classical pieces where you literally can soak your mind in the music. In extreme cases up to 1.5 hours as in one act of a Wagner opera.

    Let me see, some of the piano improvisations of Keith Jarret have for my taste a character where you can loose your mind in the music. Then to have feelings of pure happiness I think Stephane Grapelli is just unbeatable. For the darker sides of emotions I would think Miles Davis is just great. But in the end just listen and see where your emotions go when listening to it. Today with YouTube you have access to millions of pieces with no need trying to decide which CD you buy before listening to it.
     
    James Mattingly likes this.
  5. James Mattingly

    James Mattingly Fapstronaut

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    double like
     
    Jazzmusician likes this.
  6. K-Arctic

    K-Arctic Fapstronaut

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    Just a Comment on the Music-PMO relation. Yesterday night I actually "felt" the music after a long time. I keep listening to music on the radio or from my playlist, but its always been a background noise. But after i think months i felt an emotion attached to the music... And i think this somewhat due to the effort of NoFap and not being so numb all the time. Was a real feel good factor. its like remembering an emotion which you had once forgotten. And this emotion in turn is spurring me on to keep my streak going. Thats a kind of cycle id like to be in!
     
    James Mattingly likes this.

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