1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Alone with no woman... I dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Arbiter, Jul 2, 2018.

  1. Arbiter

    Arbiter Fapstronaut

    51
    67
    18
    I am struggling for more than a year now to find a girl, it just seems that any girl that I like and try to talk to just rejects me and it sickens me really, making me wanna stop approaching woman, I don't even wanna try anymore.

    Oh man what didn't I try... I tried texting, meeting face to face, going to the club parties to dance and try my chances there, I tried to just be friends with a girl but no, no of course nothing works.

    What the hell is there something wrong with me??

    Well I will try to make a list here of the positive and negative things about me here and see what do you think:

    Negative:
    - My height is 1.66 cm (5"44) which is way below average in my country (Israel) which pisses me off so much its unbelieveable, everyone is picking on me for it, calling me a shortie or a midget, which they think they are doing not in a harmful way.

    I just feel like girls look down upon me and treat me less than a human, maybe think I am a kid or retard, which pisses me off so much.

    - I have glasses with strong prescription which make me look retarded kinda, I mean i got used to them after a while of using contacts and having my eyes sore from them, but still my crappy vision pisses me off because it blocks me from doing so many things that I would be able to do without glasses, I dont know how I got to this point where my vision if that shitty.

    - I grew up in a poor family, having many options blocked from me, and missing important parts of my childhood.

    Positive:
    - I work out for the third year already, and I have a pretty muscular body and I plan on improving my physicue even more.

    - I love music and I learn guitar for almost a year now, and I always like to talk about music.

    - I think my face is pretty attractive but the height ruins me...

    -I have a job.

    Well I dont even know anymore.
    All I feel is ultimate disappointment and disbelief, how I am being overlooked in such a way by girls, because I see alot of woman just approach tall men and those men dont need to do anything for it to happen.

    Life just pisses me off to the point of killing my self while blowing my brains out.
     
    jukebbox and r8js like this.
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

    1,281
    1,756
    143
    very well self esteem analysis.
     
  3. DanielGuevara

    DanielGuevara Fapstronaut

    Hello friend I see that you are not happy and comfortable with your current situation, I find it a little jocular as you define yourself in negative things, do not take it badly but I think you are exaggerating and seeing yourself in a very hard way, if you are going to be in a relationship try not to look at superficial things, if your friends make fun of you because of your size, do not listen to them, accept and want as you are. Now, if you can not be good with yourself alone how can you get a girl who I love you and value how you are?
     
    Bhara likes this.
  4. Julius93

    Julius93 Fapstronaut

    The reason might be that you have only 14 days on your counter. You should have at least 59 to be conisdered attractive to girls.
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  5. determined488

    determined488 Fapstronaut

    155
    134
    43
    I struggle with this lack of genetic generosity as well. Being 5'5 I am considered short for USA standards, I feel like my tall friends have no trouble getting girls, and I've developed a hatred towards them for that. All my life I've been the short kid and have paid a remarkable price for being so. (Hard rejections etc) I was always smarter and sharper than the taller guys, but the girls never seemed to take a genuine liking to me. I feel so angry at my life for not being taller and more good looking. I realize the worst enemy you have in life is you.
     
  6. Miguel Rocha

    Miguel Rocha Fapstronaut

    176
    142
    43
    Well you seem desperate to me and that desperation might make them run away from you.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm having the same issues as you. I've been rejected multiple times in the last years. But I'm learning with my mistakes. And it's better to be rejected than feel the sensation of "what if"... It's better to act when you are interested than quit approaching a woman because of the fear of rejection. So...I am all in... :)

    During some years I was approaching girls way younger than me. And I was being rejected. Why? Because they didn't have the same "objectives" I had. I'm very responsible and they didn't seem in the same page. So...that's an explanation. And I fapped regularly which didn't help...

    I'm trying to straight myself out lately. If I find an interesting girl I will try to know her. And if she rejects me along the way I move on or insist a little bit to make her understand that I'm really interested (that I'm not interested only in "scoring"). There's a lot of girls out there that don't deserve you and are not responsible or accountable. Psychopathic women that only ruin lives. Some rejections (or most even) are "blessings in disguise". I'm better single than with the "wrong" woman. So don't get discouraged. You have to work on yourself and invest in multiple areas of your life in parallel to "knowing" girls.

    We are so spoiled. We live in the society of confort and no effort. Everything is given to us with no effort. That false easyness fooled us. And girls remind us that. ;)

    Here's a video that might help. It helped me. I've seen a lot of videos of Dr. Peterson and they helped me a lot...really. Probably they saved my life. No kidding.

     
    Bhara, HereAndThere and McGreg like this.
  7. McGreg

    McGreg Fapstronaut

    5
    11
    3
    I think you are focusing too much on the negative.

    You can't change your height, your eyes, your skin tone (without investing a fortune in plastic surgery). So why bother being sad and depressed about that? Accept that you are a magnificent human being with all your qualities and deserve to be loved.

    Look into the mirror every day and repeat to yourself. "I DESERVE TO BE LOVED. I AM SEXY. I AM WORTH IT. I AM HAPPY. I WILL GET THROUGH." speak with conviction and integrity and you shall receive.

    Your mind creates your outlook on life. Change your perception of life. Change your life.

    You are worth it.

    Peace and Love!
     
    Bhara, Carrotman and Miguel Rocha like this.
  8. I'm so fucking tired of listening to men complain about their height. Shut the fuck up.
    I know lots of guys who are 5'3-5'6 and get women.
    Guess what. I'm tall and lanky. It's not easy for me to build muscle. The guys with the most muscular bodied are in that height range. Less chance for Injury.
    Never let your height stop you. It's only an issue if you make it one.
     
  9. Arbiter

    Arbiter Fapstronaut

    51
    67
    18
    Fuck man I really couldnt relate more to this..
    Its really true, I have the same situation here. All my taller friends who are not even buff, and that look even worse than me have a girl or someone who loves man... fuck this shit it really makes me cry
     
    determined488 likes this.
  10. Glad your still around. Here’s my situation, this time last year I was suicidal and depressed. No woman, stuck in the PMO lifestyle, zero prospects of ever finding a woman. My outlook on everything was negative. When I say suicidal I mean I was doing things to follow through. I had bought a sack of charcoal and was preparing to buy a hibachi and go the charcoal method. Came to my senses and gave the charcoal to my neighbor and never bought the hibachi.

    I went to counseling and the therapist helped me get my head on straight. I had to change my outlook on life from negative to positive. Start looking at all the good I have and concentrate on expanding those things. Drop the negative (PMO especially) and fill the voids with other positive activities.

    There’s still no woman in my life but I’ve been enjoying the good things I have and I no longer care about not having a girlfriend. And I see clearly that women can be more of a hinderance than a help if you choose unwisely and I’m not wise at all in regards to women. I continue to avoid them for now. I’ll start conversations and be kind to them but don’t need anything serious right now.

    So look at the good you have in your life and work on those things. Get a different perspective on life. Harming ourselves is not the answer, being pissed off with the cards we’ve been dealt isn’t the answer, and focusing on all the negatives isn’t the answer. Go out and enjoy the good things you have and find other good things to enjoy. Women aren’t necessary to have a good life. They can help if they are good women but they aren’t absolutely needed.
     
    HereAndThere likes this.
  11. determined488

    determined488 Fapstronaut

    155
    134
    43
    You've got to power through that shit man, accept yourself for who you are and work on places where you have unfair advantages at in your own right. Excel in your strengths by finding what you work well with.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Arbiter

    Arbiter Fapstronaut

    51
    67
    18
    Im trying to be positive, and I am positive most of the time.
    But sometimes, especially when im alone (and the problem is that I feel alone many times, subjective isolation it is called) I just start to think about all this negative stuff and that im a fucking loser and life is unfair to me and stuff and why I dont a woman that likes me.

    And I tried making female friends but somehow they all just turn away from me.

    In another post that I have made explaining the situation better someone said that it is bitterness and toxicity that im plagued with.

    But where does it come from? why am I like this? and how to stop being like this?

    I wish i knew the answers.
     
  13. For me getting away from porn was a huge help in that regard.
     

Share This Page