Mr. Nice Guy!

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Jul 23, 2018.

  1. Does being always nice puts you in the friendzone?
     
  2. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    No, because you’re assuming all women are the same at choosing men.

    I have a tough shell to crack, which tends to make me appear as a jackass/jock as I don’t do nice things “just cus”, but only two women were romantically interested with me, one of them I’m still with. So... it can go either way.
     
    WesternWolf and Deleted Account like this.
  3. In short, yes.

    I think there's an important distinction to be made between nice and good.

    Nice implies a certain passiveness; whenever you are asked to perform a favour or to help your partner in anyway, you will bend over backwards to do these things for them; you will allow them to have their way in all circumstances even at the cost of your own comfort. You're a submissive man-servant who can be summoned at anytime and who will always look in adoration to their divine partner for guidance and leadership.

    Good is different from nice in that it does not exclude assertiveness, dominance and confidence. You can be good, meaning virtuous, whilst still being able to state clearly what you want in the future, lead your life and your family and be comfortable in your own skin. You can assert leadership and strength whilst still attending to and caring for your partner in times of true need.

    The concept of the alpha male is not about being a jerk. It's about standing up straight with your shoulders back, speaking slowly and clearly, and standing up for yourself and your beliefs.

    Do not be a weak puppet, be a strong leader. Do not be someone's wet clay, be the sculptor. Do not be a nice guy, be a good man.
     
  4. VERY well put!
     
  5. thanks for response guys! I really appreciate and understand it :)
     
  6. I'm gonna have to disagree. Being overly nice and appeasing may put you in friendzone, but i consider myself and nice guy and if anything i believe it helps me appeal to women. Obviously, it depends on the individual girl. Some girls like bad boys, but i find the ones that matter tend to appreciate niceness (again, im not talking about groveling niceness, just in general). Thats my experience anyway.
     
  7. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    The concept of a nice guy is acting in a way that you think other people will like you for. Being liked for someone that you're not. It's a need to be liked by everyone. Avoiding conflict, tension, and honest self expression because you think it allows you to avoid rejection. It's creating a covert contract that basically says "if I act a certain way, then you have to like me." When that covert contract isn't fulfilled by the other person, the nice guy most likely gets resentful and bitter ("I did so much for her. So much more than anybody else would, but she still didn't want to be with me. What a bitch."). It's an immature and manipulative mindset.

    Friendzone is something someone creates for themselves because they neither want to be just a friend nor do they want to take a risk and go for what they really want. So they create a hidden contract which says "if I act in a way that I think other people will like me for, then they have to like me back". It's manipulating and deceiving. You act like you don't want to be anything more than just friends (because you don't want to risk rejection) while hiding your real intentions. It's a grey zone where you don't lose, but you also don't win. A place where nothing really happens. Where you don't get hurt, but you also don't get what you want. It's buying extra time and holding on to access with a person until you can sneak your way into getting what you want without risking rejection. It's waiting for a guarantee that will never come before taking action.

    The friendzone ends the second that you clearly express your honest intentions because that's when that person either rejects or accepts you. If it's a rejection, then you either move on or you truly become their friend. Not someone that's pretending to be a friend in order to sneak your way towards what you really want. If it's acceptance, then you start dating. You're only in the friendzone for as long as you allow yourself to be there. If you want to be their friend, then be their friend without any other hidden motives. If you want something more, then take the risk of going for what you want. The more bold and clear you are with your intentions, the more bold and clear they will be with their level of interest in you.

    You can be a good man, a gentlemen, and someone that does nice things for others. The difference is whether or not you're doing it because that's genuinely who you are and you expect nothing in return or if you're doing it because you think that's how you'll be able to manipulate others into getting what you want.

    I do plenty of nice things for others, but I also go for what I want if I want anything at all.
     
  8. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    its not being nice that puts you in the friendzone its not showing you're true intensions showing you are interested flirting creates sexual tension ..

    usually nice guys act nice to get the approval of a girl they aren't them self they don't show their attention they just give compliments, change their behavior so the girl likes them.
     

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