1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Story about THE GIRL

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by MlohavaCuna, Dec 9, 2014.

  1. MlohavaCuna

    MlohavaCuna Fapstronaut

    56
    0
    6
    This girl was beatiful, sexy, hot but mentally unstable because of her problematic childhood family tragedy happened early and her father became an alcoholic her mother has gotten some kind of mental disorder and so on...
    She was promiscious, was with dozen of guys from her 16th to her 21st year.
    So why I'm telling you this is because I made a big mistake which has eaten my soul from inside since I broke up with her.

    When I met her I instinctively felt she was easy since then had an eye on her waiting for opurtunity to make a move end when that day came I went in for her like a fool, promising to her long term love no matter what I'll be with you, i love you bla bla bla. She became attached to me like a little child beliveing me that I really love her and that I'll put up with her crap until death breaks us apart, gradually comeing to my senses I realized that this girls is possesive, manipulative, doesn't have faith in people in general, sees everthing as potential threat.e ever felt.
    And I decide to break up with her and this was the most painfull experience the most emotionally devastating thing i have ever experienced. I couldn't get my head around why how i was at the edge of losing my mind.
    Literally, i got severlly depressed, afraid of people, and so on and on..

    So where is connection between this mistake and porn usage well the link is that abnormal sexual habbit of excessive PMOing (very importanted: started in the begging of puberty when sexual dimension is defined) constructed a sense that extreme intense emotional states are stimulative and rewarding that extreme and excessive is the norm like this girl . Her past, experiences, behaviour, habbits are excessive and emotionally intense from oversensitivity when a minor critic about her will make her hurth and sabby to manical states when she could yell or lose her temper where normal person would only give a slight complaint.

    If I havent used porn I wouldn't find that girl attractive i would automatically sense the disturbance and abnoramlity in her and help her with quality friendship, care, talks and so on. I wouldn't hurth her nor myself in extent that she got pregnant with another man few months after we broke up. She gave birth and the relationship with that man has ended.
    I dont know why but I feal responsibile for her in that way that if i havent rush her or manipulated her to create feelings for me and then out of blue breaking up with her i could had better constructive effect on her and we would maintaing a good friendship instead of I still suffer the pain i caused to her and to myself.

    To repeate PORN has fucked up my brain that i cant feel normal sensual, i'm only lite up by extreme so without extreme (excessive PMOing, drinking partying, running long distances, excessive strength workouts) I
    fall into depressive states... Lack of concetration and weak memory so I suck at studying and passing exams, i'm fall out from two colleges. Losing my temper easilly, social anxiouty etc. Those are all things that i link to excessice PMOing (from age of 14 on high speed from age of 10 on pic galleries) becuse I had a fuckin aswome childhood,haven't been abused, great careing parents a bit loud but hey , middle-class, , grandprents where angels...

    Sorry about misspelling (not native) and for the lenght. I hope you find something useful in my story.
     
  2. Vision

    Vision Fapstronaut

    172
    18
    18
    It's true that you harmed the girl somewhat and that you made the mistake because you are yourself messed up from porn. On the other hand, she is responsible for her own life and happiness, so there is no need to feel guilt or responsibility anymore.
     
  3. OrangeKittensAreSoCool!

    OrangeKittensAreSoCool! New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    To be honest, it may be unwarranted to assume that all of these problems are due to porn usage. I don't think we can know for sure that your decision to enter into the relationship, and your dependence on extreme stimulation in all aspects of your life to avoid depression can be blamed squarely on porn. There is a pretty good possibility it skews views towards women and very good reason to believe it inhibits sexual performance and relationships and leads to depression etc. I will tell you this: quitting porn will have a major positive impact in your life and may help you make better decisions in your life and avoid depression generally. But focus on becoming a better man, and try to make friends with many girls if possible (though that might be hard with your social anxiety). I have made a lot of female friends this year (two of my closest friends are girls) and I am very close with my 27 year old sister. Having female friends gives you great insight into how you can be a better man regardless of your sexual preference, and might help you move away from your dependence on extreme sexual stimulation. Good female friends can also help you spot unstable girls before you get into a relationship with them (been there, done that)! Also, the best romantic relationships I have had have been with girls that I was friends with first for a long time. Then we turn into very close friends, then BAM I find myself in a healthy loving relationship. The idea is that the love grows in a mature way and you have the ability to get to know them first before the romantic aspect becomes a part of the conversation.
     

Share This Page