What is so bad about porn?

Most people can watch porn occasionally without major psychological effects, but I wouldn’t count on it too much. Not only can it cause you to be not aroused by your partner (not a worry for you in this case), but it can affect your productivity, too. It can make you less productive, and watching a lot of porn can consume your time, and make you loose your progress towards your other goals in life. It can lead to other sexual dysfunctions, and it can cause you to become depressed. Most people who decide they can only watch a little of porn, can become addicted very easily. Long story short, porn can ruin your life in excessive amounts.

 

Porn is addictive by its nature. That plus the fact
that the women in porn are almost always subject to humiliation (call it 'dirty talk' or 'intensity', it doesn't change the truth of things).
It's misogynistic, sexually dysfunctional since it makes people always have unrealistic expectations. It also makes the viewer very passive and accepting of ideas that he/she would otherwise always find disgusting and abhorrent. And it makes a person feel hypocritical towards their own ideals and views.
Those men that you mentioned, the fact that they can't respect or appreciate a real human being let alone a real woman is testament to how deeply this problem of misogyny and unrealistic expectations goes.
And above all else, it makes one of the most profound human experiences, into a chore, like scratching an itch as you put it.
As it's clear that you have mixed feelings towards porn.
I'd recommend for you to take a Pascal's wager on things and read this SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION :
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It isn't about what is bad about porn, it is about why as persons, we find it so difficult to stop from something we may consider a harmless habit.
For more information specific to the effects of porn; which in turn is basically just a really badly jumbled up behavioural method+amine addiction, you should consider yourbrainonporn.com , among more mainstream sources.

 

Hi

Sorry to hear of your bad experience with men but trust me they are not all the same. Just like a tray of apples you will get good ones and bad ones. There will be men out there that will see your inner beauty.

That will only happen if you communicate with them. Masturbation has got you to the point your at which is prettey bad if your into snuff porn. Think about it thats someone really being killed and your liking it. Or even if its something similar and the person is not really being killed but acting. Its still putting that thought in your head.

If you think that porn is not hurting the people who are acting in it you dont know how wrong you are. The majority of women who are humiliated I only fiund out myself not long back. You just need to read the amount of actors who end up dead in the porn industry and you will br shocked. So yes they are hurting otherwise why contiplate suicide.

Youdont need to worry about STD,s if you searched for a proper partner and stuck to him. Do the way things GOD planned and you will never go wrong.

 

Why did you come to nofap if you think there is nothing wrong with porn?

 

I guess sometimes distance really helps. You may need to step back because it seems obvious to me that porn is not helping you at all. Here are a few quotes from your short post:

Porn provides an unrealistic yard-stick against which women can feel ugly and inadequate. My porn use shattered my wife's self esteem and it is not helping yours at all. You need to find things that restore your sense of self worth and provide you with a sense of your own beauty, and you will not find those things in porn nor in men who are porn addicts.

If you are feeling strong try reading Gail Dines' PORNLAND; How Porn has Hijacked our Sexuality

 

I highly suggest you do some research into the effects it has caused to countless individuals who have been addicts of it before you come to any uneducated conclusion… Just looking at the number of withdrawals one faces while trying to kick the habit should tell you something.

 

To be fair, recovering from PMO addiction poses no physical withdrawals. Unlike cocaine or heroine, the body does not crave the dopamine rush, only the brain does. And the physical symptoms are merely a manifestation of the mental tug of war between addiction and sobriety.

 

Really? That's funny. Perhaps you should take a look at the countless testimonies of others who say different, including me. My physical withdrawals have been absolute hell. Poor digestion, blurred vision, chest pain... they're all very real.

 

Have ever read the book Easy Way to quit smoking by Allen Carr?

 

No, and I fail to understand what reading that will do to discredit my very real physical withdrawal symptoms that I've been facing since my last long streak... none of which I experienced before I quit PMO.

 

Then I suggest you read the SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION based off it :

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It isn't about discrediting your pain my friend. It is about putting things in context. When I had my longest streak of 43 days, I too thought that most if not all of my problems, chronic migraines, high blood pressure, edginess and irratibility, pain and blurred vision in my right eye. Were all due to me changing my ways. That plus the black depression that I experienced. Where nothing would even feel real anymore.
But it wasn't. Every little problem that I was facing, had always been there to other lifestyle choices, but as PMO had always been a numbing force, it was all buried deep within.
Like smokers feel that quitting smoking makes them lose concentration or that it gives them gum problems, the only thing that changes is the illusory crutch is removed. And they stand on their own two feet perfectly fine, but the mental brainwashing that has kept them hooked for so long makes them feel as if they are losing their balance without one morr smoke.
This analog runs quite similarly to us PMO addicts. Porn adds nothing to our lives, it addicts us and enslaves us. And the MO drains us of vitality. Ask any celibate monk, and they'll tell you of the benefits of physical retention, yet as PMOers and then recovering ex PMOers we always feel that our recovery is making us feel a multitude of health and withdrawal issues. Why is that?
It's because we have let the brainwashing seep and rot and distort our perception of reality and causes and effects.
It is the brainwashing, and the associated fear that comes with it that is the biggest stumbling block towards long term sobriety.
Please give that SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION a try, it is eye opening. And also the most uplifting way of recovery I have tried. I have since been in a bit of a rut, but I recognised the places where I let myself drift off and away from the method that the book prescribed.

 

So take my poor digestion for instance. I have always eaten healthy and maintained a good diet. Yet as soon as I quit PMO I began having physical cramps in my stomach as well as having extremely loose stool and occasionally throwing up. I visited the doctor and he gave me a clean bill of health, unable to determine the cause of my stomach problem. As soon as I relapsed it went away. Explain how that was due to a “poor lifestyle choice” and not a very real physical symptom caused by accessive abuse of PMO.

 

Porn is a problem, you're an addict as well and you don't seem to realize it. Porn is like like any addiction, at first a little does the trick and you think "wow this is great" overtime the normal stuff doesn't do it. You keep having to search out new more disturbing things to "get off" just as the drug addict has to keep upping the dose. You would rather watch porn than find a loving partner who you can have a good relationship with, to me that's just pure laziness. There's no hunt, no effort involved, you'd just rather "get off" on some cheap porn than have something real and meaningful. Not everything in life can be a cheap electronic reproduction of life. Violent sex is something I have struggled with as well, that tells me you started off with "soft" porn and now you're searching out new disturbing things to "get off" that doesn't sound healthy to me, that's text book addiction but hey... it's your life but you'll be back here with a different opinion when you're feeling empty, depressed, unfulfilled, and alone because you chose porn over love simply because it was more convenient for you. It ruins people's marriages and consumes their entire lives... That's what the "big deal" is.

 

I think porn is like anything. In moderation it is fine, but overused it becomes a habit and slowly changes your personal preferences. Things you once wouldn't have even thought of slowly become your fantasies. It also lacks the personal connection. Which I think we all suffer from in the long term.

I would suggest trying to find better partners. Few men are like that and it surprises me greatly that you ended up with them. Chances are you are really beautiful and it is them expressing their own insecurities. You cannot enjoy love/sex without the risk of heartbreak/humiliation.

 

larpidarpia Porn is harmful to those who can not cope with it.
I drink, but I could never become an alcoholic. For me to drink one beer is cool. But after 3 beers I feel stupid and that's it. Then I don't drink for a while.
But some people just can't resist alcohol.
Indians had a huge problem with alcohol. Aborigines too. Those cultures almost entirely disappeared!

Porn is here to stay. Those who have serious problems with it would gradually have to get used to it or just disappear in generation or two (or 3).
I have a problem with it, but still, want to remain objective. I think it is a natural selection in a progress.

 

You must find some one who loves you for you! Rather allow them to find you. Porn is an issue. It makes you camouflage to the men that are looking for you.

 

This is exactly what's holding me back in NoFap. And I've come to realize I need to give up porn just because of myself.

I mean, porn doesn't take you anyway in your life. Just how many useful things you could do instead of watching porn?

I relapsed yesterday because I was looking for some nude pics. The urges got the better of me and I ended up on hardcore sites, and eventually fapped. And I ended up binging, just to get short periods free from my urges, while I've been wondering this question today.

First of all I don't want to be the one watching others have sex. Then again, is that any different from mainstream movies' sex scenes? Porn just shows in explicitly, though in the end you're watching others have sex anyway, no matter if you fap or not.

But what I realized is porn is complete waste of time. Maybe sitting on a couch and watching movies or sports, or listening to music isn't that productive, but at least interests like those allow for some socializing with like-minded people and are interests you can be proud of. Why waste time on something you're ashamed of?

And of course, I'm pretty sure our sexual instincts drive us into doing some great things. You want to be successful and look good to attract the opposite gender. That drives us forward and you can achieve great things meanwhile. But porn messes that up. You just need enough money to pay the electricity bills and the internet connection and your needs are satisfied. You lose the drive to succeed.

Just find something that will keep you active and won't leave you time or possibility to watch porn and masturbate. And when the urges kick in, let that be a reminder you need to do be doing something productive to get noticed (in a good way) to get laid.

EDIT: I want to say one more thing. The way I see it, NoFap isn't just a PMO addiction reboot, it's a life reboot. You're giving up a useless and harmful habit but it's not easy. Maybe with sheer willpower you can reach your NoFap goals but PMO will have left a huge hole in your life. If you don't find something that gives you the pleasure to fill that gap, I think you're likely to relapse. You need to learn to like the struggle because struggle is a prelude to success.

 

It's not true that 'no one is hurt in porn' we just don't hear about the deaths of porn stars due to over dose, physical abuse, STD's like Aids and herpes etc are all rampant in the industry. I used to think that everyone did porn because 'they wanted to and it's their choice' but it's not as straight forward as that. i've read a lot of stories from ex porn stars who talk about what life was like for them when they were in the industry and it's not pretty.

Porn is also closely linked to human trafficking, drugs and violence. If you don't believe me check out what FTND say about it in their research. Here is a good article https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-porn-is-full-of-lies/

I've come to realise that believing the myths that porn producers peddle is like believing a drug dealer when they tell you their product is 100% pure or that it's 100% safe.