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Quick question for you all?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ThisTime, Jul 6, 2018.

  1. ThisTime

    ThisTime Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,
    This is my first attempt to quit porn, and as I'm learning more about this all, I've got a few questions in case anyone wants to provide some support to me and others:

    1. What benefits should I expect at the end of this journey?
    2. Is the end goal to never watch porn again or to recover from addiction?
    3. Does recovering from addiction mean to never watch porn again / is watching porn in moderation a thing?
     
  2. 1. Think about all the things you hate about being addicted. All of them. Now imagine them all gone. Imagine all the things you want in yourself. Now imagine that you have all of them.

    2. Yes. Think of it like the alcoholic. Can they have "just one sip" later on? No. Just move forward understanding that porn is a problem for you and that you simply need to avoid it. Forever.

    3. Recovering primarily means that you (a) end all unhealthy sexual behavior (looking at porn and psubs, masturbating) and (b) have healthy relationships with whoever you are attracted to (not objectifying people, seeing the TRUE beauty in them) - essentially having relationships the way healthy people do. If everyone around you is watching porn and it's no big deal to them, then don't use them as inspiration. It doesn't work that way for you and I.
     
  3. IncenseCedar

    IncenseCedar Fapstronaut

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    ThisTime:

    BreatheDeeply says it really well. I think another benefit is knowing yourself better. A major tool in recovery is mindfulness and reflection. We learn what triggers us, we learn why we act out, and we learn new ways of being, healthy ones as BreatheDeeply states.

    For me (and others) shame and guilt come along with the addiction. One of the biggest benefits I've experienced, and the one that keeps me clean, is I don't feel shame or guilt now that I'm not acting out regularly. As I've cleaned up, I've come to realize that shame may have been a reason for my initial plunge into PMO, but now that the shame is gone, I've found that loneliness and wanting to be attractive to women are (were) driving factors. And these reasons make no sense because 1) I'm married and have been for almost 30 years (so how can I be alone?), and 2) as I get older, physical attractiveness is less realistic (I'm bald, flabby and have liver spots). So, working with these revelations, I can rewire my thoughts to realize I am not alone and attractiveness is relative.

    I think all of us have fundamentally similar reasons for getting into PMO, but basically it comes down to this... we didn't want to feel emotional pain; PMO brought physical pleasure (not to mention a dopamine hit) to cover the pain. When we reboot, the pain will come back. We either work on the pain, move into it, explore it, understand it, then let it go, or else we eventually relapse.

    If self-confidence is an underpinning of this addiction, think of it this way. It takes a LOT of strength and bravery to reboot and face the pain, and no strength at all to relapse. I'd say the former is a sign of pretty potent guy who should be proud of what he is doing.

    Peace
     
  4. ^ All of this.
     
    ThisTime likes this.
  5. Muhammad21

    Muhammad21 Fapstronaut

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    I would say both.

    Watching p in moderation is bad for your brain just like smoking in moderation is bad for your lungs - besides, it's highly likely that it's gonna lead us (addicts) back to addiction (relapsing, binging, compulsive use, etc.). Let's try our best to forget about it and move on with our lives.
     
    ThisTime likes this.
  6. Penguin72

    Penguin72 Fapstronaut

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    1. Not wasting literally thousands of hours of your life like I did, only to end up with ED.
    2. For me it's never again. I can't "dabble" in porn, I'll get hooked again.
    3. Not for me. I can't even watch TV or movies with attractive women.
     
  7. ThisTime

    ThisTime Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys. You helped me through another day. Truly thanks.
     
  8. Dagger323

    Dagger323 Fapstronaut

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    1. You can expect the same mental awareness and presence you had as a child. Little to no anxiety, depression, overthinking, etc. Imagine you have the ability to accomplish more and feel better than you have for years. This is what abstinence can and will do.
    2. The end goal is both. In order to recover from addiction you must never watch porn again. It’s literally that simple.
    3. Recovery means to adapt to a permanent lifestyle change, one that no longer includes the bad habits of porn and constant masturbation. You must never accept compromises when it comes to viewing porn. It must be all or nothing. Obviously porn has had zero positive impact on your life or you wouldn’t be here in the first place. So ask yourself why you would even want to view such a toxic thing ever again?
     
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