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I want to start my life again

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Mon, Jun 27, 2018.

  1. Mon

    Mon Fapstronaut

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    Hi. I’m mon and I’m 19 years old now. I’m struggling with quitting p and m for like 3 years and my biggest accomplishment was just 30 days. I haven’t been in a relationship yet and I even don’t have a close friend to talk to. I’m completely alone and hating myself.
    Something which bothers me is the memory of those dark days and all the chances I had to have a better life but I lost them to nothing. I’m tired of failure. I really want to make it this time :(
     
  2. Hii...Wass Up...I am John.Hey don't worry friend.You are not alone here.If you need any help nofap related so i can help you.And don't worry wt is happening in ur life.Actually you are facing the same as i was 6 month ago.No friend no relation etx.Everythind was lookong like hell.So you are new here.I welcome you.....
     
    goodnice and Mon like this.
  3. Mon

    Mon Fapstronaut

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    support. I think it’s very helpful for us to be together on this.. And I’m so happy that you took your life back.Hope l can be as successful as you are
     
  4. Zai9

    Zai9 New Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck
     
    Mon likes this.
  5. Mon

    Mon Fapstronaut

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    Tnx
     
  6. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
    bumblebee_1 likes this.
  7. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    You can start over. You have a second chance to have a new life!! Remember how you felt before PMO, how full of life and happiness you were. I can assure you, you can get it back. You cannot resist urges. The Bible says “Flee fornication(temptation)”, meaning don’t test yourself or put yourself in situations with triggers. You really have to fill your schedule with activities and don’t be home alone if you can. I understand your feelings and feel free to message me if you need help.
    Good luck to you
     
  8. Khandany

    Khandany Fapstronaut

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    Bro just take a deep breath and ask Ur inner self where I m going ...the route which u had choose earlier I,e porn and masturbation is leading to self destruction..
    Bro remember what r the best days u can leave without PM..what can u acheive without PM...
    Our brain is literally addicted to PM..which is very very hard to come out but not impossible...it makes u feel guilty, emotional, depressed,fear, it's like only goal in our life is PM that's it..
    U have to be brave men and a fighter.u should not give up at any cost .PM always be at Ur doorstep knocking everytime u r upset,happy ..whatever maybe the condition,urge.every time u have to beat and knock down PM.
    Stay away from everything ,source friends,which will lead to PM.make a list of such things.
    Make a big wall poster about ur goal and what u want to achieve in ur life...paste it in Ur room.. everytime PM is heavy on u..just sit and think by looking at that wall post..just think what if I fail today by doing PM..
    Make friends who help u in giving up porn and masturbation..
    Last but very very very important thing..
    you have to change ur mind, attitude and urself.v just encourage u but It is with u to fight or give up...all the best just enjoy the journey of giving up PM.
    Forget the past and don't wary about future just live in present...one day at a time with no no porn and masturbation

    Install this app IMG_20180708_133420.jpg
     
  9. NamoBuddha

    NamoBuddha Fapstronaut

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    Hi
    You can beat up this cunning habit. But you need some techniques to help you. You can check up these materials which are very helpful.
    Moreover, I would like to mention that your mind is a key on nofap journey. A mind with mindfulness is the keystone of your new life. Good luck with you.

    A success story talking about how he overcome PMO and common mistakes.
    An article, reading the benefits of nofap.
    A human version of rat park

    All best.
     

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