68 days check in - What I'm feeling.

Just keep going, and remember that the only thing that lies ahead of pain and frustration is reward!

What you're experiencing is pretty normal. You're probably in a flatline, or your brain just hasn't rewired yet. Don't judge people's experiences by their 2 week reports. At 2 weeks, even I felt like king of the world. The first couple of weeks is always awesome. Then it gets hard for a long time. This is when most people relapse. They don't want to face the difficult part. Give yourself credit for coming this far, and use it to go even further. I'm at nearly 7 weeks, and a lot of the time I feel exactly like you.

Don't lose faith. Don't give up your beliefs. Don't lose your grip and fall back into the hole.

Good luck,
DS.

 

Here are my thoughts: as you can see from my tracker, I've had success for awhile. Do I feel like I'm a changed man and girls suddenly magically come up to me and want to suck my dick? No. However, my life has absolutely begun trending in a positive direction, not only since my success started, but even before when I was trying to be successful, yet failing. In the few months that I've experienced success, my life has become more disciplined including things such as reading 10 pages a day, setting a bed time that I am learning to stick to regardless of what friends are doing so that I feel better the next day, reading my bible everyday, meditating briefly everyday, etc.

The only real physical benefit that I can say is that my eyes are noticeably bluer than they were when I was fapping. That obviously gives me a little more confidence in my appearance and I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror more than I used to. I also feel that my general facial expression is slowly but surely turning in a positive direction. Slowly; but surely. I will also say that recently my convictions have gotten stronger. I am in the beginning stages of feeling more superior to the people I'm around due to the direction in which my life is heading. This feeling helps provide me with more willingness to be open with people and fight for what I want. When I reach the point where I can look in the mirror and tell myself with complete honesty that I have become the man I want to be, I will obviously walk around people with much more confidence than I have now and a general knowledge of my superiority. That being said, when I reach the point where I know I am better than most of those around me, if not all, I don't want to hold it over their heads'. I want to use the knowledge and discipline and confidence that I have gained to bring those of my choosing up to my level. Some people, in my opinion, aren't worth investing my time in, but there are also those that are. As I better myself, I want those people to better themselves as well. And in their own way. I don't desire for people to take the same exact path as me since I don't desire to take the same path as anyone else; nonetheless, I hope that I can provide an example for people to follow until they develop strong enough convictions and can pick and choose certain aspects of my life that they want to implement into theirs, while leaving other aspects just for me.

The point I'm trying to make is this: I desire not only for myself to never fap again, but I also desire for you to never fap again. I truly see no benefit from it and I think it will only lead to a detrimental lifestyle that values objectification over real love. And man, I still struggle with this shit. Not as much as I did at the beginning of course, but for some reason the past week or so my desire to look at pictures of girls nude has come back a bit. I consider it something to take seriously but not to freak out about. I know how to handle the desires, as I have for the past most days of the past 5 months, with a few setbacks, and I know that handling the desires is ultimately good for me. I truly feel that I am moving faster and faster towards the life that I want with every passing day. My record for no orgasm is somewhere around the 150 range which is the range I am going to enter tomorrow. My life is not exponentially better, but it sure as hell is better. And it's only going to keep getting more and more. Nofap on. That is my advice. Cheers

 

Remember that everyone is different. I haven't experienced dramatic changes in my body. I do feel sharper, more motivated, more positive, and feel like I'm on a higher spiritual plain. We will all experience different changes. Some of us are no longer struggling with ED. Others have gained confidence at work, with women, and in their hobbies. If you haven't felt a strong difference in your life, don't get discouraged. Many changes we make will have to be through determined steps. Want to find a new hobby, pick up a new instrument, become stronger? Then you will have to take steps in those directions. You won't just get a 6-pack because your hands aren't in your pants. You have to take the energy you used to waste on PM and turn it towards positive behavior. Then you will slowly begin to notice the change.

Good luck, my friend. Keep working. The deception is that giving up is harmless. The truth is that staying pure will unlock your true potential.

 

Congrats in how far you've gotten my friend, you're much further along than me.

But iv got to say, being free from porn and masturbation isn't necessarily the be all end all of personal development, it's merely a piece of the puzzle.

I know in my case, I was trying everything to improve my life. I was exercising, eating well, trying to constantly push my comfort zone, but the problem was, I was constantly fighting for every little bit of change I was making in my life, everything was a struggle.

As soon as I stopped porn and masturbation, suddenly I had tons more drive, motivation, and confidence to really push myself in ways I couldn't imagine before.

Just quitting porn isn't going to suddenly turn you into superman I'm afraid. But it really does give you that big push to really get things done.