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I'm Addicted and I'm Helpless to Stop

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by arpyegap, Jan 24, 2018.

  1. I relapsed today 2 weeks in :( I felt so much better after getting some clean time but now I'm depressed again. It's like I went right back to my old self, aggravated, angry, pitiful, wanting to be isolated, I don't feel like I have the ability to really do this. This really does require a constant upkeep of our spiritual condition.
     
  2. arpyegap

    arpyegap Fapstronaut

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    Relapses are going to happen... fact of life. I would just pick yourself up and move on. Easy to say, but hard to do. I think it's what you have to do. If we don't and lie around in a sea of depression, we are still giving porn power over us. Sorry for your relapse, but don't give up and be kind to yourself. It happens.
     
  3. John Lee Smith

    John Lee Smith Fapstronaut

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    Not necessarily.
    You can get huge amount of time intervals between relapses, and this is real recovery.
    Always install back filters after relapses.
    Take lot of rest, sleep as much as possible.
    Eat food as much as you can.
    Keep yourself busy.
    Depression will come, install panic button, it helps.
    Be kind to yourself but not that easy also.
     
    Deleted Account and FX-05 like this.
  4. arpyegap

    arpyegap Fapstronaut

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    Of course everyone is different & a blanket statement that relapses are going to happen is not necessarily true. That can be said of any blanket statement on any subject. Perhaps more correct would be relapses frequently happen. The important thing is to continue the journey if you do relapse... have your moment of mourning for the relapse and then move on.
     
    John Lee Smith likes this.
  5. arpyegap

    arpyegap Fapstronaut

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    I've not written anything in a while, but have been checking in frequently to read some other threads. In a way, that means success for me. I've not felt any strong urges for PMO as of late so that is good. I continue to use my other support mechanisms and people so things are going pretty well. I'm not cured and I know that, but I feel better. I don't feel like the person I was before. I'm certain that I used porn as a coping mechanism to deal with stress in other areas of my life. It just grew from there until porn became an even bigger stress. I've done things I'm not proud of and would change them if I could, but that ship has sailed. I just have to move forward.
     
    Immature and MasterRoshi like this.
  6. arpyegap

    arpyegap Fapstronaut

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    So I've been PMO free for an amazing 203 days now and that's great. However, the reason I'm back here writing is because I'm fighting a strong temptation suddenly... not sure why, but it came out of no where. I've gotten used to less & less strong temptations, so I'm a little un-nerved about this suddenly strong one. I think I'll be OK, because even writing this helps, but man, this shit never stops!
     
    Immature and MasterRoshi like this.
  7. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    Be careful about what you believe. If you choose to believe you are an addict, then at a deep level you will always be giving yourself the option to continue to follow the same patterns.

    The reality is you have some bad habits. And like any habit, this one can be discarded.
     
    Immature likes this.
  8. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for following up! Congrats on the streak!

    I actually just had a few nights of horrible sexual dreams and the following days were definitely tough.

    I think everything goes in waves. So it’s just apart of the cycle. If possible be ok with the urges and learn to not run from them. We don’t have to get rid of them or act on it, just because we feel it. (Easier said than done but definitely something to be conscious of).

    With my recent urges it’s directly related to hightened anxiety and other life issues. I find my first reaction to a mild bump in the road of life is to flip out, get super emotional, and then my brain starts to intoduce the broken reasoning from the past. “PMO will help calm ou down!” And as for the events it hasn’t been anyhing really crazy! Just small bumps...

    so after journaling and doing my best to work through it, a few days later I’m feelin at peace again.


    Not sure if you can relate to this, but this is my recent experience with urges.

    Oh and also, we’re men, were human, so urges are normal.
     
    Immature likes this.

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