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Last weekend I relapsed after 89 days

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Thrawn88, Jun 13, 2018.

  1. Thrawn88

    Thrawn88 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed after drinking a lot. I also smoked weed. I was then very hungover and unpowered the next day. So sad... I relapsed after 89 days - my longest streak.

    I think the combination of alcohol, weed and caffeine favor the urges to watch porn and masturbate. It turns off my mindset.

    That should not be an excuse, but I think the addiction is so strong that the combination of other drugs has favored it. I was no longer in control.

    I drink and smoke weed not really, but in this night it all went down and up.

    In the 89 days I realized how beautiful life can be so that I am still motivated to live this lifestyle and to work on my mindset. I do not want to be the guy who takes drugs and sits in front of the computer to watch porn and fap.

    I want to be healthy, strong and productive.

    My regular visits to this website are very helpful. I thank the community for the support. You are the best!
     
  2. mikexperiment

    mikexperiment Fapstronaut

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    When you say you relapse what do you mean exactly? Masturbating is not relapsing, masturbation is a normal, healthy habit. Wanting to be healthy, strong and productive is a good thing, but masturbating with porn once after 3 months isn't making you weaker, less healthy or productive. I think you're doing fine man, smoking weed and drinking beer each once in a while is not a bad thing by it self, it won't destroy your liver or make you stupid. Being hangover sometimes is alright. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself man. Center on the being productive part, because this situation I'm pretty sure you've got under control. Peace out!
     
  3. Each person has to decide on their own what their "inner circle" behaviours are. It will be different for you than for others.

    For me I committed to no PMO but of late have been struggling.

    PM are in my inner circles. O without a partner is in my inner circle. I want my O's to be with someone I love.

    Don't beat yourself up and learn from your last stumble. It's all about you and you making a decision about what's correct for your life.

    Good luck to you and all that are in the struggle.
     
    newlife1975 and MasterRoshi like this.
  4. Making 89 days is a fantastic achievement!

    Your counter might go to zero, but your recovery has not.

    Don't binge, start again, you've come a long way!
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
  5. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    No that is the absolute wrong mindset. You have been brainwashed by society's standard that mastrbation is healthy. Healthy?? Are you kidding me.. why do you have nofap account. You made one obviously because you realized it was unhealthy and realized you needed to change.

    You cannot masturbate in moderation. And if you didn't know, masturbating with porn after a long streak is very bad (Im not saying the direct effects are bad or that he cancelled out all his progress, but the negative implications for the future are great. It may take weeks or months to get back to where he was) because it usually leads to binging since the motivation of the streak dies when you relapse.

    So OP, don't take this advice. Accepting the once in a while thing is why you lose the game of life. It's why you continue to stay addicted.

    The OP already knows this (that you cannot PMO or do drugs or smoke once in a while) since he has gone 89 days no PMO

    I would recommend staying strong, and remember this moment and learn from it the next time
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Did Grand Admiral Thrawn give up his campaign against the new republic when his attempt to steal ships from the Sluis Van shipyards went awry? NO. No he did not. He campaigned all throughout the mid rim, captured the katana fleet, blockaded courscant, and lured the Republic into a trap at Bilbringi. Now yeah he did die there because of treachery, but unless you have a noghri body guard you should be able to avoid that shortcoming. You can do this! What would Thrawn do? He would use tactics to avoid putting himself in a bad situation! You CAN DO IT! Figured Id try to drop some star wars motivation seeing your Thrawn avatar :)
     
    PMO addict likes this.
  7. Thrawn88

    Thrawn88 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thank you for your reply. I want to spend time to answer some questions.

    I had strong urges and search for some porn. I told myself that I already have 89 days. And now I could watch a video again. I could not stop myself ...
    In these situations, I actually distract myself. I cook, take a cold shower, write my essays or do a workout.
    But with the hangover, I was just too tired, with no energy, and the craving for naked women was very big. Then I opened the laptop and it went faster than expected. At the moment I entered some searches and I watched some pictures I knew that I relapsed. And then I said to myself, now it does not matter. I can not describe it exactly, but it all happened very fast, like an automatism. ... I masturbate twice on the laptop and once without in 4 hours ... I kill my streak. I did not stay true to myself. Its so sad.

    Thank you! Its so hard for me, that I didn't stay true to myself because I thought that I have change my mindset. But Saturday my mindset crashed for 20 seconds of "enjoyment". Then I felt like dirt. This websites are garbage...

    I'm motivated! And I' learn from this relapse! :)

    Thank you for this great post! Thanks for giving advice from the Star Wars universe. Thrawn is very disciplined. If the urges are strong, I will remember that! :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018
  8. mikexperiment

    mikexperiment Fapstronaut

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    Accepting that we are all human and make mistakes is not losing the game, man. And the fact that you have an addictive personality doesn't make what you said an universal truth, I have been able to control drug use only to certain ocassions in the past, I have been able to control my masturbation habits, and I know people that have never struggled with this things. In fact, there is scientific research about how different personalities have trouble dealing with addiction while others don't.
    Besides, the moment you show me scientific evidence that masturbating a few times a week is unhealthy I'll believe it, cause I've never seen any, nor has any physician told me so. On the contrary I have been told by doctors and people who know about the subject(unlike you) that masturbating by it self is not bad, and actually can be benefitial for your health, the problem comes when you develop an addiction, and my addiction is not to masturbating, it's to porn. But I consider the only way to change the way my brain reacts to women in general and to sexual pleasure is by trying not to link woman to sexual behaviour, and that I can achieve by not watching porn ever again, and by not masturbating in a long time. When I do begin to masturbate, which I will with pleasure, I will not use pornography and therefore will avoid falling in the habit of automatically linking woman with sexual behaviour.
     
  9. No problem :) Thrawn is one of my favorite Star Wars characters personally. If you enjoy his story, I would reccomend checking out the THrawns Revenge mod for the star wars game Empire at War you can get it on steam!
     
  10. Sounds like my last relapse except I did it without being high.
     
  11. goodnice

    goodnice Fapstronaut

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    Yes those doctors and people who are knowledgeable unlike me have said masturbation is healthy and look where that thinking has gotten you, me, and millions of other people addicted to PMO
     
    drisolls and Deleted Account like this.
  12. drisolls

    drisolls Fapstronaut

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