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Am I putting girls on a pedestal or I simply dont care for them?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Potato93, Jun 20, 2017.

  1. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    When I was 7 years old one of my guy classmates kissed me in the mouth. At that age I didnt face it as a homossexual act, but a experimentation thing rather. We never told our parents and he also never talked to me after that.

    Here I am with 22 years old, never had a girlfriend and had mostly guy friends. I feel sexually aroused by woman and I really want a GF. I consider myself heterossexual.
    Nowadays that classmate is also with 22 years old and had many affairs, all with girls. He even has a estabilished relationship with a girl now, bullied a lot of my friends back in HS and fucked a few chicks. He was the equivalent of a Stifler.

    Fact is I can talk normally with girls, but generally things dont evolve to a rather friendship base. I feel like I never get to get in "sync" with them. That's different with my cousin, she actually syncs with me because we know each other since we were kids.
    My sister as well.

    Maybe there is a society type of pedestal that kind of pushes away certain social behaviors when talking with the opposite sex.

    I feel like this happens to both guys and girls, mostly because when younger, there will always exist a society "Tenuous speculation" about the intimacy level regarding 2 individuals of the opposite sex. Mostly because there is still a harsh separation of guys and girls things, and all the friends with benefits sexual affairs that media pushes in nowadays dating apps really doesnt help with that.

    People WILL still get jealous if a girl hugs a guy and dances with him in a party, even stating that they are just friends. If the guy is gay, then there wont be as much for both parties, but if he is homo, then yes, jealously will be in the air for someone around.

    I dont know if you guys felt the same as me. Just want to hear from you.
    Cheers.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  2. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    PS:

    I ALSO feel like a few of the sex war things mentioned above gets even harsh when both parties cross the 14-15 years of age.

    Mostly because there is a overall sense in the adult life that estates that they can engage in sexual acts after that. And everything that is already genre separated in childhood gets even narrowed.

    Sometimes I also feel like most parents neglect children playing with the opposite sex because they fear of a premature pregnancy. SO those early social Standards that separates genre by traits also play a role in that.

    SORRY if thats too much text. But what I'm trying to describe is essentialy buried deep in our society first rules, and its a really complex topic to debate without being bias.

    thanks
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
  3. Rohan Jabokson

    Rohan Jabokson Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    I am not exactly understanding your question and you're opening a difficult subject, but I can comment a few things. First of all I want to ask, I wonder, what happens with an enormous amount of sexual drive that has had little chance to be satisfied? It doesn't disappear, so what form does it take to become bearable? If you think on that, you might find out more about how you feel towards women. Is there anger, dissociation, confusion? I don't know, I'm exploring it myself.

    That being said, I want to talk about connecting with the other sex, particulary from the standpoint us men. And all I've got to say about it (ignoring the important intricacies of it) is, holy shit! There so many of us, if not most men, that never actually engage with it and learn how do it.

    Furthermore, I firmly believe that if there is any sexual attraction between two individuals and either or both of them are repressing/rejecting/ignoring it, their interaction becomes a forced and disjunct exchange because the obvious, undisputed core of it (possibility of sex) is being knowingly withheld. Now, that does not mean that one should be immediately outright and verbal of their desires, but it is in the showing of intent or the admitting of attraction, that a conversation becomes genuine and original.

    To answer your question, no, I don't think you are putting girls on a pedestal much nor do I think you don't care about them. What I think, is that you don't know in what way you care about them. Maybe, just maybe, you are unconsciously dissociating your sexual desires from your emotional investment in women. Maybe the reason you are in "sync" with your sister and cousin is because you don't want to (or know you can't) fuck them.

    Getting to know an attractive female and THEN trying to fuck her is impossible. Because getting to know an attractive female and trying to fuck her is ONE AND THE SAME THING.

    I hope I helped. Cheers.
     
    Potato93 likes this.
  4. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Yes! Thanks for replying,

    I find thats really difficult to connect with someone without having a past time or hobby involved. I'm a really focused person and sometimes I dont have too many topics to talk about. I think its related to anxiety approach led by the desire of wanting to meet someone. Not different than having an Idol next to you and trying to ask for an authograph.

    its like someone's spectation towards you puts a lift over your shoulders when talking to them.
    Maybe I should allow myself to loose up.

    My question was if that child moment led me with some frustration against being intimate with someone.
    Fear of rejection I may say. The fact is that wanting to fuck someone do puts lifts over your shoulders when talking with them, maybe that gets better by knowing that things arent too extreme and can be fixable.
     
  5. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Im wondering more about this
     
  6. Viscardo_Delarosa

    Viscardo_Delarosa Fapstronaut

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    I feel like we live in a pretty feminine society. I.e. if you don't have feminine qualities women won't want you. Unless you have money and know how to use it. I feel I'm too masculine to haeh a girlfriend because I'm never interested in anything they say unless it helps me get in their pants which I don't do anymore as I don't do drugs except for pmo. Women have to sort of choose me. I'm full of knowledge and wild imagination. But I have yet to find "her" or "them" I'm not looking to settle down either as most women don't understand the buisness transaction that marriage is. You might as well shackle yourself getting married. Lol
     
    Potato93 likes this.
  7. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha here is soo different, woman want masculine guys. (in my point of view) But its cool to hear your thoughts!
    I think marriage is a beautiful thing, is you devoting yourself to someone and that person reciprocating. (its rare nowadays)
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
    Viscardo_Delarosa likes this.
  8. Viscardo_Delarosa

    Viscardo_Delarosa Fapstronaut

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    I assumed you were American! Most of my coworkers are Hispanic mostly Mexican and I would say I have learned a lot from their cultures. Yes marriage is beautiful, of course. I just know too many people that tell me never to get married. And the way the economy is over here I barely can afford life for myself I don't know what I'd do with a kid. Or an american wife that's hypnotized by advertising. I would most likely marry someone not from the u.s. lol
     
    Potato93 likes this.

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