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help me i destroyed myself

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by thebigboom, May 26, 2018.

  1. thebigboom

    thebigboom New Fapstronaut

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    i am new i cannot control urges help me to recover
     
    fercho29 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Sad_but_true

    Sad_but_true Fapstronaut

    Hey @thebigboom how are you doing? Welcome to NoFap you are in the right place. Youve already taken the first step by coming here so give yourself a break. If you look in your inbox there will be a welcome email with lots of info on the effects of pmo and porn on the brain. Take some time to read it and understand whats going on with you. The amount of pmo you are doing is lowering your self esteem so spending time on here will be time you wont be wasting with porn and pmo. At the top of the page there is a panic button with different types of situations emergency, rejection, depression and or relapse. attached to those are quotes or pictures or inspirational videos to help you get you mind off your urges. Try to keep busy with other stuff, clean your place, go for a walk call a friend and dont leave anytime for looking at anything that might trigger your urges to kick in. Also read about other peoples stories and what works for them so you can try to apply it on yourself. Its a good idea to start a journal to keep track of your progress, talk about your feelings and learn more about yourself. Also good to welcome other newcomers to the site and help them out with anything youve learned. Wish you all the best on your journey!
     
    NamoBuddha likes this.
  3. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you crate a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
  4. Rogeron

    Rogeron Fapstronaut

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    What kind of problem do you have ? Are you addicted to porn and masturbation ?
    Or did you have a bad sexual experience with a girl because of too much PMO ?
     
  5. Welcome to NoFap @thebigboom
    It is A big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
    http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
    To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    Fercho
     
  6. NamoBuddha

    NamoBuddha Fapstronaut

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    Hi @thebigboom
    Welcome, you have take a big step and people here are very supportive.

    There are many ways to stop urge whenever it comes out. You could stay with your family members or friends, take a cold shower, or work out, etc. I recommend you to find out your way that is suitable for you to calm your urge whenever the urge comes out. My way is to let it go by chanting Buddha's name or going for exercise.

    I also have a suggestion for you. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You should try to avoid any trigger because the trigger is like a little spark which may kindle great fire. Once it becomes great fire, it will be very difficult to put out. I believe you know it.
    Moreover, you could try to build a positive and healthy lifestyle to replace your old one such as watching porn when you are bored. A positive and healthy lifestyle can be an significant role on your recovery journey.
    Here is a YouTube video for you explaining how you addict to it and get rid of it.
    I hope to see you recover soon.

    Best Wishes
     
  7. Protagoras

    Protagoras Fapstronaut

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    Welcome. HERE are some things helping me.
     

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