Just starting and just want to say Hi....

Hi There,

Its Been quite a while since I’ve been so interested into joining self-improvement community mostly all of them just about personality, hard work, motivation, and so on, however if I may give some critisism... I felt those knowledge were too limited and don’t really goes down to the core of how to get those motivations and energy...well at least on my own point of view.

Anyway let me introduce myself....

I’m 32 years old guy and helping my Mother's bussiness and her colleagues after graduating from my computer science degree 6 years ago, mostly my social interaction is between peoples much older than me.

My father is a sexually promiscuous man I’m almost certain its the main cause my parents relationship was fell apart and finally they got divorced during my final semester when I was a student in university.

As a child I’m not really having many conversation or social intimacy with my father and I don’t want to became like my real biological father so I consider some famous man whether they are real person or fictional as father figure: Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Franklin D. Roosevelt, James Bond, and the list goes on...

Usually I fap 2-3 times a week and also I’m a smoking and drinking person too I wish could dump those bad habit as well.

I want to improve myself in and being energetic in all aspect of life, tired of being a pushover and loser, Don’t want to be depressed, just want to have happiness in life.

I’m 163 cm male...I’m not that tall so I think I’m better not having expectation on dating a good looking girl I like and instead focused on improving my life. But I still wish to getting taller and that is my biggest wish in this world.

I apologize for such a long intro and my english is not good as well but willing to learn and becoming better person in this awesome community.

 

Hi. Welcome to forum!

Make sure you crate a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain. It is a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body. Check out this Ted talk, it gives a good idea of what's it about when it comes to philosophy. As far as practical side of it there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!

 

Hey thanks, I will consider trying to learn to meditate too
It would be a great addtional tools for the job.

 

Yes, sometimes

 

Thats the same reason that I started doing nofap, but even with that thought in mind, its hard, really hard, I relapsed today again, wasted more than 2 hours watching porn, and I feel just horrible, weak.

But here I am, back to day 0, and reading more stories like yours, gives motivation to get up and try again.

 

Not easy...off course maybe thinking about benefits you get in return would help?

 

Yes, thats the reason that I wont give up and will try again, after 2, 3 weeks of nofap, see how my social life will change.