21 yo, PIED, 2 months on NoFap, Cuckold, Gay thoughts, HOCD etc

For those, who are struggling with the same problem, and wanna know are there any improvements. I would say, the improvements are significant. Dick is much more sensitive, I finally get 100% erections, I have less gay urges overall (yes, some days they are painfully hard to resist, but most of the time I returned my interest towards women and vanilla sex), fetishes are fading (not completely yet, but hey, I am only 3 months in), I generally feel happier, knowing that I am fighting this thing.

Sometimes, I do feel very weak, sometimes I do wonder, that living my previous life will be easier and stuff, sometimes, I have strong doubts that this will work at all, but I promised to myself that I am gonna beat this addiction and recover and I am keeping my word.

 

Updates!
1) Consistent morning woods.
2) No gay urges - finally gone and I think completely.
3) Extremely sensitive.
4) My mind is clear, feel drastic improvements.
5) Have strong erections touching women, thinking about them, sometimes 100%, sometimes 70% strong.

 

Wish you the best, men, I am seeing your posts here and there on the forum and you are hero! Keep с

No edging, no sex, no pills for at least a year to fully heal. I am not touching my dick until I fully heal. I am heading there, I have great results, but I need more time and I am 100+ days in. Pills are just a temporary solution, and it can fuck you up even more.

 

A bit more time. I need more random erections and higher sex drive. I think I will abstain for at least another 100 days and then try sex, if I see improvements.

 

And yeah, fetishes are gone too completely. Not interested in any kind of sex, except vanilla. Don’t want to be dominated, feel nothing about cuckolding, sissy, etc.

 

I didn't say I came out of semen. I said I didn't have any semen at that age. I started having orgasms with ejaculation when I was around 9-10. I was masturbating all that time.

 

Updates. I have much less anxiety about my non-working dick. I don't want to check, I don't even go on this forum anymore, I just stopped fapping and it feels great. My mind completely stopped any unwanted fantasizing, but I also have lost any urges for now. It's hard to describe, but I just feel like my sexuality was removed from my brain. I just have blank mind with no sexual fantasies. Yesterday I had slight pain in my balls, when I went to bed, my mind started cycling thru stuff and I got very strong erection. I had wet dream, but I actually wasn't dreaming about anything and I think my dick was flaccid. I woke up because of semen leaking, I thought I was pissing in bed.

 

It was more like - I got tired, I got in bed to sleep, my mind had a glimpse of sexual thought - I got erection. I wasn't actually thinking about anything. I also noticed that when I am not sleeping well, or very tired, my brain is releasing a lot more dopamine and it is easier to get erection. I try not to suppress any thoughts, because it gets worse. I would get semi-hard thinking about women and I got full hard erection thinking about fetish or gay thoughts. My thoughts usually pop automatically, I have a glimpse of thought and then I try to suppress it, and then my mind starts furiously fantasizing, releasing dopamine, and generally behaving like addicts mind. Now, I can achieve erection thinking about women, but it's not always 100%, and it fades away quickly. Fetishes and gay thoughts faded, I can still get aroused by that, but erections are weaker, and generally desire to pursue them is 99,9% gone. I need a bit more time to be completely cured. I gave myself a promise, that even if my mind starts fantasizing and I can't stop it, that I won't touch my dick.

I generally noticed I have much less OCD, worry a lot less about stuff going on around me, and have more connection to my real desires. I also don't check NoFap, and I am not that much worried about my semi-working dick. I am confident that everything will be ok, because I feel so much improvement. The fact, that I am able to achieve strong erection without touching my penis just proves it. When you are in the state of mind of lust, you lose control over your life.

 

I am all for conservative methods, like abstaining from masturbation, sex, touching your dick at all, fantasizing, porn etc. Hard mode can help you fully reset your brain to natural state, where you will have erections when just feeling good etc.
But if it works for you then keep it up. For me it didn’t work unfortunately.

 

Gay thoughts now officially and completely gone. They never come back and literally no arousal at all while thinking about anything of that sort. This is incredible. The only thing that I feel is a bit of disgust, which is what I felt before I escalated to gay and transwoman porn.
No interest in fetishes.
No anxieties, don't want to check, don't lurk here and don't post here.
Masturbating feels so detached right now, I feel like I don't know how to masturbate. It's so foreign for me, no interest in it at all.
My general mood is so different, I feel like a completely different person, much more confident, just feel valuable. Women are so attractive now, their bodies - I finally look at them as I used too before I escalated. I am still a bit shy, introverted, a bit nervous, but that is fading too.

If anyone is reading this and has any doubt that this will work - this WILL WORK. You just need more time, my libido is still not back, my dick is still not always hard when I wake up, but I am heading there. I would literally give everything that I have, just to have an opportunity to tell my younger self what masturbation will lead me to. Masturbation and porn destroyed my life, if you have any doubts - stop masturbation and porn for life and never touch it again, if you don't want to spend the rest of the days regretting missed opportunities.