Almost 22 and beardless

Well, actually, no, not all girls do get breasts when they grow up. And they can still be incredibly beautiful women and have great confidence in themsleves. Look at Gal Gadot, for instance. She's freaking Wonder Woman, super sexy and gorgeous, and her boobs are basically non existent.

I think it's strange that you seek advice but don't want to hear someone say that you should embrace how you were made and be confident in yourself. That's the only advice that is going to help you, so I would suggest you embrace it.

 

I think the root of the issue here is that you're viewing facial hair as something you "should have developed," And that's not true. Clearly you weren't made to have facial hair. That doesn't make you any less of a man. It's not something that is wrong with your development, it's just how some people are. I'm not making light of how you feel, I'm just saying, the only thing you can do here really is learn to be comfortable and confident in who you are and work with what you've got. That's what we all have to do. There are methods suggested here that you can try for facial hair, but I think the root problem is a lack of self esteem and a problematic way of thinking that something is wrong with you or that you're less of a man or underdeveloped if you don't have facial hair, which just isn't true.

 

Your body might need more time before you can grow a beard. Some guys can't get a beard until there mid 20's

 

first thing u need to ask yourself is wether ur genetics really does or doesn't allow for a thick beard. just because you dont have a thick beard does not mean only your genetics are to blame. if your other male relatives have thick beards then your genes DO allow for a beard and there might be some nutritional deficiency which is stopping you from growing one. you need to correct it. don't listen to all the stupid nonsense about just accepting your beardlessness especially if this kind of advice comes from a woman. they haven't got a clue.
let me give you an example - all male members in my family are over 6 feet tall ( most are around 6ft 2 ) but one of my cousins was barely 5ft8 at the age of 17. his father is 6ft2 and mom is 5ft8. he was very worried about his lack of stature, especially because he was sure he had the genetics to be tall. the reason was that he was eating junk food all day, playing video games instead of outdoor games , barely sleeping for 6 hours a night and just living a poor lifestyle.
he changed it all and grew 4 inches in a year and a half. that just shows how much of a difference lifestyle can make.
so accept your beardlessness only if it is common in your family. otherwise improve your lifestyle.

 

Some of them do, sure. But not all of them. And I would tell them the same thing I told you, which is that they should be happy with who they are and not let societies arbitrary standard of beauty make them feel like there's something wrong with the way they were made.

But seriously, look at all the women in Hollywood, a place that is pretty dang focused on looks, who have super flat chests. Plenty of them never get surgery, and they're still super sexy and confident in themselves.

Is that what you have? Because I kind o doubt it. I think you're being overly dramatic to make your point.

But yeah, I can obviously see how that would effect self esteem. But the point is that you can change that. You can work on your self esteem and learn to love the body you were given, but you write that off as if it's not an option, and the only option is to change to fit societies mold. I think that's kind of sad.

I'm not saying it's wrong to ask for help or options or other peoples success stories, but you came in pretty strong with the "please don't tell me to just be happy with who I am" message, which I think is the most important thing you need to work on, because it's the only thing that is guaranteed to make a difference and has zero side effects.

Yes, anyone can say that because we all have some way to relate to your problem. We all have insecurities, and we all can relate to the experience of having to embrace what we have and learn to love it, because it's not changeable or would cost too much or have too many risks to try to change, or whatever.

 

I'm in the same boat OP. I'm 20 and can't get much more than a seedy moustache, a flavour saver and some stubbly sideburns. I probably look about 15-16 now.

The consolation people give you is along the lines of "oh, you'll look young once everyone else looks old", but is there actually any basis in this? I often cynically think I'll hit some wall when I'm like 30 and all the perks of being young are gone and from then on look like an old man. Hahaha.

I don't particularly want a beard. In fact, it's good that I can sometimes get away without shaving for a day, but it would be nice to have the ability to grow one, or for my body to give me a sign that I'm manly.

On the positive side, I think I've started to look a bit more "grown up" since I lost a fair bit of puppy fat in the face over the past few months, but now I have to put on weight to because I'm starting to become underweight and want to gain some muscle without looking like a chubster again.

I don't think that a celebrity who has a pretty much perfect appearance (tall, face, body) and wealth/fame/status but one shortcoming is a particularly good comparison to a regular person with multiple shortcomings in their appearance and general life. I'd even argue her supposed shortcoming doesn't exist since they are bigger than my man boobs which are fairly visible unless I hide them under layers.

I do get what you're trying to say. You can love yourself in spite of your shortcomings. I'm getting there.

But I also don't think you can enthusiastically accept or "embrace" your shortcomings either, just because they're a part of "how you were made".

I will never be enthusiastic about being 5'9 or having man boobs, no matter how much you try to convince me. At absolute best, they're neutral to undesirable appearance traits, at worst they're dealbreakers/a source of teasing.

The best I can do is to focus on what I do have or what I am able to get (muscular arms/legs/abs), ignore what I can't since it isn't constructive/conducive to developing confidence and disregard people who use those shortcomings to bring me down.

 

Well, then I guess we just agree to disagree on that.

Well, first of all, having man boobs is probably a symptom of being overweight, which is something you could presumably change. That's the not the same as being short or having a small penis or small boobs. It's not just how you were made or something, most likely.

But as far as being short, some girls really like short guys, so that's not necessarily true. Confidence is incredibly attractive, not just in a partner but in a friend as well. Think about all the famous comedians or whatever who have major disabilities and know how to laugh at themselves and make light of the hand they've been dealt. That's such a refreshing and positive attitude to have, and people love to be around people like that. If someone with a severe disability can learn to embrace and love themsleves for how they are, despite their differences and difficulties in life and the rough days they inevitably have, I think you are definitely capable of loving embracing your shortness.

I agree. That's pretty much what I've been saying.

 

This is starting to get off topic, but no. I'm definitely not overweight. I weigh just under 60 kilograms (130 pounds) and am 176cm tall (or 5'9 as I said). That's a BMI of about 19.4 which is on the lower side of "normal weight". They're almost certainly breast tissue because I have too much estrogen and not enough testosterone, so they probably won't go away unless I have surgery.

I kind of like to think of them as a challenge I need to work really hard to overcome which will make me a more grateful person one day. I've lifted weights and done push ups and my chest area is now more toned, but they're still jiggly and would look dreadful to a potential partner.

It's all well and good to say this and I don't necessarily disagree with using humour, but I don't know how to make light of this like comedians can make light of their dark moments. I've had some extremely humiliating experiences I'd rather not share when I was younger which has made me insecure about my height. Can't find any humour in it.

The closest I can get is not feeling shame in having some unmanly physical characteristics because it doesn't affect my success in some of my pursuits and because it isn't productive.

 

Alright, fair enough. But I still stand by everything else I've said. Including the part where I said that I'm not trying to minimize anyone's experience, because I know these things are hard to overcome and can effect self esteem. I'm just saying it's not impossible.

That's totally fine. Not everybody has to see humor in their flaws. This is basically all I've been saying, for OP to stop feeling shame over something that doesn't make him less of a man. It seems like we agree, so debating is kind of pointless. This is the point I was making this whole time, and you just said it. So that's all good.

 

You're still completely missing my point. My point is that it shouldn't matter what society says is popular.

That's not necessarily true at all. Women have all different kinds of preferences. Plenty of women don't like beards and think they're gross and scruffy and make people look less clean and put together and would prefer someone without so much hair.

I realize that, and I'm fairly sure I said as much in my comments. I know it's easier said than done. We all know that. Do you think I have no insecurities and that I don't understand that it's difficult to embrace those things? I do. And it is difficult. But it's not impossible, and that's all I'm saying.

Why do you assume everyone else is invited to this "party"? You don't even know me.

I would strongly recommend you watch the movie "I Feel Pretty." I know it seems like a chick flick, but it has an important message and shows the power of embracing yourself for who you are and shows how other people embrace you as well when you embrace yourself. You don't seem to believe that, and I'm sorry that you don't, because you ARE missing out on a party. The party of feeling comfortable and happy in your own skin.

I just don't see any point in wallowing in self pity over something you cannot change. I understand it's hard and you're perfectly allowed to feel frustrated at times, but to allow yourself to wallow or to get to this level of bitterness is just unhealthy and unproductive. Your life doesn't need to be that way. You have the power to change that, but you continue to blame society for everything. And some of it is society, sure, but a lot of it seems like it's you refusing to try to change your own perspective.

I'm sorry if I'm too harsh. I'm really trying hard not to be, but I just don't think there's anything left to be said. I'm trying to help you, but you don't seem to want help unless the help is some magic way to grow a beard, because you think having a beard will change everything, and I doubt that would be the case, even if it were possible. But the fact is that it's likely not, so if you want to be happy, the only option I can see is to embrace who you are and the hand you've been delt. If you have a better option, by all means, take it, but I don't see one.

Best of luck to you.

 

Your beard will come with age. As I age, I find I have to shave more often. I used to shave once a week when I was in my early 20's. Now, in my 30's, I'm itching for a shave after 3 days. What grows is very dense too. I need a weed wacker after those 3 days.

 

I decided to let my facial hair grow out for the next few months. I personally don't find beards attractive, but I'm doing it, like I do many things, for experimentation's sake. I looked at the old photo of me in my twenties, with a scuzzy attempt at a goatee. Despite being a greying redhead, I clearly have some growth, although some guys I work with have impressive beards suited better to bushrangers and imams.

One day I'll even feel comfortable with taking photographs of myself.

 

I have a beard, mostly because I'm too lazy to shave honestly. It's fucking disgusting actually, sometimes you get food in it, I have sometimes gotten snot in my mustache. I'm often walking around with a neck-beard and that's not appealing. I have quite a hairy body and my armpit hair sticks out even when my arms are at my sides, that isn't very nice. I would prefer being completely hairless.

I would say don't worry about it. Get in good shape, get a bit of a tan and you'll look good.

We all have to deal with imperfections, you can waste time and energy on complaining about them, or you can take your lemons and make lemonade.

 

How old are you?

Did you get your testosterone checked