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Does This Count as PMO?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NewBeginning2018, Apr 24, 2018.

  1. NewBeginning2018

    NewBeginning2018 Fapstronaut

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    Does flashing back on a sexual encounter count as relapsing? That's not relapsing is it? I haven't watched porn/masturbated so don't think I've PMO'd. What do you guys think? What are some things you guys do to get your mind off of it?
     
  2. Winner11

    Winner11 Fapstronaut

    Whats flashing back mean?
     
  3. NewBeginning2018

    NewBeginning2018 Fapstronaut

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    reminiscing (frequently)
     
  4. EthanW.

    EthanW. Fapstronaut

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    Lol, what? If you didn't use P to M, and didn't M to O, how did you relapse? Did you O from the "flashback"? If so, then I still don't think you relapsed. I've realized a relapse is strictly porn-related, and we shouldn't be anal about what we view to be a relapse.

    That said, how do the flashbacks make you feel? Do you feel dirty, or guilty? Do you get urges to do more?

    If the flashbacks are becoming hard to resist, take better precautions to keep them contained. If you don't want to be consumed by sexual fantasies, you have to treat them in the same vein as P, that is, go out of your way to avoid them. You could try thinking of them as triggers, and work to "step around them" mentally whenever they rear their heads.

    To avoid sexual imagery, you need to plan ahead; what have you tried before, and what do you think you can do differently? If you've tried thinking of other stuff, try exercise or jumping jacks. If you've tried reading or watching videos, try doing mathematics, instead. Mix it up. Is there a certain place that triggers the fantasies? Find other places to do what you have to do; if you can't avoid the location, bring friends or external motivations to keep your thoughts from spiraling. Just treat it like P, and you should find it easier to put the fantasies at the back of your mind.

    But, really, men shouldn't be running from their sexuality. If we happen to find sexual images filling our minds, that is the result of the instinct to procreate and conquer sexually. To be clear, we have to work to rewire the porn-pathways made within the brain from abusing a PMO habit, but that doesn't mean we never think about sex again. Thinking about certain sexual imagery can actually be motivating to men, because it lets them imagine how their life can be if they get their shit together and start improving their lives for the better.

    Summary: I'll say that you have to decide if the reminiscences are too frequent or too consuming -- and, if they are, take action to minimize the time you spend considering them -- but that running from sexual fantasy altogether might not be as productive as some might think. This is a recent perspective I have been introduced to, so I would welcome you to let me know what you think. Good luck, my man.
     

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