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I Messed Up (But I have no idea how I couldn't)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Animation Fan, Apr 20, 2018.

  1. Animation Fan

    Animation Fan Fapstronaut

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    Okay, so I was doing great, no temptation to see or do anything sexual. But this morning I was riding in the car as a passenger, I felt these strong headaches going on. I realized these headaches only happen when I forget my nighttime medication, a usual side effect. Well unfortunately another side effect is that it's much MUCH easier to orgasm. Just the bumps in the road were making me nervous. As I thought about it, it almost happened. MORE THAN ONCE. Through the thoughts and bumps, I had to keep fighting back going over the edge right next to another guy, over and over again. I wasn't even hard, that's how sensitive it gets. It was terrifying. We were on our way to a Costco, and we had other stops to go to. I was so scared of a possible ejaculation near the driver, that once we got to Costco, I headed strait to the restrooms to take care of it. It only took like two minutes for it to happen.

    So yeah, I messed up, but what else could I have done? I couldn't NOT think about it, as me saying "don't think about it" makes me think about it. My mindset was "Ether I do it now, or risk doing it in the car". So any ideas on how it could've been different?
     
  2. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    I think it's probably best not to obsess over it. There are definitely some positives to focus on:
    1. You didn't masturbate to porn, which is much better than relapsing with porn
    2. It's over with now. You can continue with your recovery. You haven't completely reset.

    The important thing is that you're here. Stay focused on your recovery, and things will be alright. Don't worry about the past. What happened happened, and its a good thing that it didn't happen with porn.

    Best of luck on your journey.
     
    lord_nelson and Immature like this.
  3. This.

    Also, set an alarm on your phone so that you don't miss the evening meds!
     
    lord_nelson likes this.
  4. Animation Fan

    Animation Fan Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, and don't worry, I'm feeling fine. It was kind of funny to me that I sort of had no choice. Ether take care of it or it happens next to another dude. :oops:o_O
     
    lord_nelson likes this.
  5. Animation Fan

    Animation Fan Fapstronaut

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    I should. I have one of those 7 day pill containers to help me keep track, but I had to sleep in the other room last night because my roommate has had some hard nights with my snooring. I left the container in the bedroom and forgot. Opps. :confused:
     
    lord_nelson likes this.
  6. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear about your difficulties with this man!

    It sounds like a side effect of your medication, mixed with good ol’ Puberty, mixed with potential PMO addiction. I would suggest discussing the sensitivity to orgasm with your doctor and see about the medication.

    When it comes to medication, the doctors need to know what your experiencing so they can better understand how your body is reacting to it.

    When it comes to the potential PMO addiction, I have found doing things daily to calm my obsession over what’s in my pants is very helpful. Daily journaling and being 190% honest in those journals and. It lying to myself is very helpful! Also, daily meditation helps a lot. Changing my sleep pattern helped, changing my diet also, and daily prayer. I’m not at all religious so prayer is tough, but for me saying prayers helps me with my depression and allows me to get more freedom from the inner negative thoughts that lead me to act out with PMO. Also get with the above, I go to 12 step meetings SAA

    Last thing, it everyone has the same issues with sex. Some might find porn to be the problem but orgasm is fine for example. So with the right help and support, you might find what’s best for you.

    Good luck and hope everything gets better!
     
    lord_nelson likes this.

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